


Meant to Live

by theloverofthunder17



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avengers - Age of Ultron - Freeform, Avengers - Endgame, Avengers - Freeform, Avengers Imagine, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canon Divergence - Avengers (2012), Captain America - Freeform, Demigod Reader, F/M, Family, Fluff, Friendship, Infinity War, Love, Marvel - Freeform, Marvel Cinematic Universe - Freeform, Marvel Universe, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Reader Insert, Smut, Thor - Freeform, Thor/Reader Relationship, Thor: Ragnarok (2017), War, avengers - infinity war, avengers fanfiction, avengers smut, reader - Freeform, thor smut, thor/reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:35:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 56,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22241149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theloverofthunder17/pseuds/theloverofthunder17
Summary: This will be a short series between Thor and Y/N. The collection is inspired by Switchfoot's song entitled Meant to Live. All the chapters are connected within different timelines and the chapter themes are based from different songs/playlist. This is a reader-insert set after Thor: The Dark World(which was set in 2013) and before Age of Ultron, assuming Thor and Jane have split a long time already. Please do not judge me that much. This is my first ever attempt to write a fanfic after years of wanting to do so. ♡Thor deserves so much more. So does Y/N. They have found each other and with this have found themselves as well. Join Y/N and Thor in their journey in finding peace, redemption, and love despite the chaos around them.
Relationships: Chris Hemsworth/Thor/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader, Thor (Marvel)/Reader, Thor/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. Preface

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: In this story, I am following and considering Freyja as the Vanir goddess of Vanaheim which is different from the Aesir goddess Frigga/Frigg of Asgard. I am following a different version of Norse mythology which doesn't consider Freyja and Frigg as one entity, unlike how they are depicted in the Marvel universe. :)

Characters:

I just wanted to give a bit of back story about my idea about Y/N.

Y/N (Your Name) --

She is a demigod daughter of the Goddess Freyja of the Vanir tribe of gods and her father was a mortal soldier who once with the goddess while she was in Midgard. Freyja never knew him but when Freyja fell pregnant, she knew she could not take her child to any of the other Nine Realms, including Asgard. Freyja then painstakingly left Y/N to save her from the horrors of the realms, knowing that it will come to a dark end soon. At the door of an unknown but wealthy man, Freyja left her infant with nothing but a gold necklace with a triskelion amulet.

She grew up not knowing about this as she was left orphan at age two when her adoptive father, who was one of the Stark Industies' engineers, died on a fateful accident with one of the weapons they were building. As gratitude to the person who served the family, the Starks took Y/N under their guidance as their own. She grew up with keen interest in political science, economics, and Public Relations, which the person she considers her brother, Tony Stark, was very happy about. Tony was seventeen years old when they took Y/N as part of their family. He treats her as his own sister. Y/N grew closer to Pepper as years go by, especially when she got her law degree and got her liscense as a lawyer. She then took over as Stark Industries' official company lawyer and Public Relations Head, working closely with Tony Stark.

Her life was seemingly normal... for a person with a connection to Tony Stark, the SHIELD, and the Avengers, that is. It was not until she discovered that she was more than a mere Midgardian, as her ability to influence the elements started to unfold, that she started to question who she truly is.


	2. Strange Birds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting: Pre and Post-Battle of New York | This was Y/N's first time to meet the whole team, except for Natasha. SHIELD needed Y/N's expertise and Tony was more than happy to have Y/N working for the Avengers. This was the first time Y/N laid her eyes on our favourite god.

_**"Oh little ghost, you see the pain** _   
_**But together we can make something beautiful,** _   
_**So take my hand and perfectly,** _   
_**We fill the gaps, you and me make three,** _   
_**I was meant for you, and you for me.** _

_**You've always loved the strange birds** _   
_**Now I want to fly into your world** _   
_**I want to be heard"** _

Y/N was there. She was in the tower when it all happened. She was unsure how she survived all of it, especially with Loki lurking around the tower.

"This guy is nuts." she breathed, clasping her phone tightly while trying to reach Tony. "Come on, Tony. I need you to answer.." she huffed before she heard a beep, "Jarvis, he's here. Tell Tony he's in the tower." With a calculated move, Y/N packed her essentials and tried to warn Pepper to not go back to the Tower until further notice. Y/N tried her best to evacuate all the remaining employees in the tower and secured them in the basement, she knew it would be the safest area should there be a fight as Loki would surely protect the Tesseract and the portal. With final instructions to the employees, Y/N went back to check whether Tony had arrived. She was never disappointed when she saw him in one of the control room's CCTV monitors -- Tony armour free and drinking his brandy while casually conversing with Loki. She felt tension starting to build up and she could not ease her worry for Tony. She could not do much but curse under her breath. Once she saw Tony fly out of the window while waiting for Jarvis to launch, she sprinted towards office, alerting SHIELD and alerting the authorities of what was happening, and then they came. An army from the portal. They were... aliens? She could not believe her eyes and all she wanted then was to wake up, but she was not dreaming. She was hapless mess under her table, trying to contact and warn the people.

It was a blur. The next thing she knew was that there was a nuke coming in as her systems alerted her and that it was gone... along with Tony. Tears sprang from her eyes as she watched the portal close without Tony on sight. It was the most agonizing second of her life but a sigh of relief escaped her lips as she saw Tony, drifting through the air. But in mere seconds, the Hulk got him once they noticed he wasn't slowing down.

"Oh gods. Thank gods.." she mumbled, leaning on her table, waiting for everything to end.

~~

"Have you lost your mind?! You could have died, Tony!" Y/N barged in the SHIELD room, fuming at what Tony did. He was her only family... the closest to be a family, at least. Even with her strong facade, Tony noticed her concern. He knew her too well. He had seen that face when he came back alive from the abduction years ago. Tony just gave her a knowing smile and hugged her. Y/N sighed and pulled away, facing the team, Fury, and Hill.

"My apologies," she uttered confidently while trying to collect herself.

"Well, every one. This is Y/N. She is a stubborn but very smart lady. She is Stark Industries' company lawyer and head of PR and Marketing... And..." before Tony could continue, Nick interjected. "She'd he working with us to ensure that the Avengers would not be damned by the whole world..." Y/N rolled her eyes. "You are adored and loved by many, but there are some who thinks it's your fault that the world is in chaos. It will be my job to try and ease their minds that you seek to protect and not to destroy."

The conversation went on but Y/N was oblivious that Thor had been staring at her as she spoke and moved. The glimmer of her necklace caught Thor's attention and when he had the chance, he asked her about it.

"Lady Y/N.." he caught her attention as she was busy working on her files and sorting press conferences. Y/N jumped at his voice. It was moving, compelling, it was the voice of... a god.

"I did not mean to startle you.. I just... noticed something.." Thor mumbled and when Y/N met his eyes, she shivered. Odd. Was that really the feeling when you are at a close proximity with a god?

"Fire away." she said simply.

"I noticed your pendant was a symbol of Freyja.. do you happen to know her?" Thor asked, carefully touching the pendant just below her collar. Thor had felt it. The materials used to forge the necklace was the gold of Vanaheim, on of the strongest and most precious metals in the realm.

"I know her from.. well.. to be honest? Legends." she chuckled, "never in my wildest dream did I expect you guys to be true. yet here I am face to face with the god of thunder.." she smiled, looking up at him.

"There is something about you that feels so familiar. Are you sure you're from Midgard?" Thor flashed her a soft smirk which almost melted her insides.

"I don't even know who my real parents are or where I am originally from.. but I would make sure to let you know once I find out." she joked, but little did she know, Thor took it seriously.

"I do apologise. But I shall wait for that day you discover your true lineage. Something behind those eyes tells me that you are more than what you perceive yourself to be." Thor's word surprised her. She did not know where he got the idea but she knew it was because of his wisdom as a god.

"If I am nothing more than a strange bird, then I would have to thank you for paying attention." Y/N stared at his ocean eyes, as if she was drowning, as if he was sucking all the air until her lungs were empty.

"Little Dove.." Little dove. Little dove. It echoed to her soul.

"No one can deny that you have way more potential than you think. Feel it in your veins, my lady. From the moment I saw you I knew there's power running through you. Trust me. And trust yourself." Thor finished. Y/N's face inflamed with his words, she felt blood rushing to her cheek as she focused on him. She cleared her throat, "We'll see." was all she managed to croak.

\--

Y/N kept working with the team for a couple of days, trying to dial down the negative publicity. All the while, Thor could not help but be mesmerized by Y/N's grace and commanding presence. He felt at home with her. Even Loki noticed it. There was something about her that was yet to unfold.

\--

"I am sure we'll meet again, my lady. Until then, heed my words and I shall wait for you to discover it." Thor bid her farewell before he went back to Asgard with Loki.

Everything that Thor told her kept playing back on her mind. She had never felt concerned about her background before. Now, curiosity started bubbling inside her. Could she really be more? But how? And of all people she would long for, why must it be the God of Thunder? Why him when she knew she could not have him?

Well, for now at least.


	3. Enchantment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting: This is post-Thor: The Dark World and prior Age of Ultron. This assumes that Jane and Thor are no longer together after what unfolded during the Dark World. Thor has been returning to Midgard and has gone closer to Y/N while working with the team which then leads to Age of Ultron.

_**"I wait for you** _   
_**I don't know why** _   
_**All I know is I can't hide** _   
_**At this temperature you could take over my mind** _

_**Like gossamer, you softly touch** _   
_**He draws me in, I'm powerless** _   
_**He possesses an enchantment** _

_**Tell me I'm forgiven** _   
_**He calls; don't know how I fell under his spell** _   
_**Lately, I've been driven** _   
_**He smiles an enchantment** _

_**I wait for you** _   
_**I'm mesmerized** _   
_**This love is like a potion in disguise** _   
_**I'd tightrope walk with a blindfold on my eyes** _

_**I can't escape, or so it seems** _   
_**I'd run away; he's in my dreams** _   
_**He possesses an enchantment** _

_**It's the kind of sleepwalk that never ends** _   
_**A type of loan with no dividends** _   
_**It's a parlor game where you're giving chase** _   
_**Guess it could be called an acquired taste** _   
_**I know, he knows, he calls, I go, I know** _   
_**This could be an enchantment"** _

\--

She is never one to falter. Never one to waver. Never one to wait. Yet, with him around Y/N is a total mess. Her sanity hangs in a brittle strand of hair. That is the power he has over her. And she hasn't felt it before. It is as strange as the events happening with god knows what world. And she waits for him. In vain, at times, but she waits.

There are recent reports on where the scepter might be and where HYDRA might be using it. With this, there are a lot of conversations with the team, and as if on cue, Thor arrives with all his glory, ready to battle whoever the fuck was trying to mess with it.

Y/N could not keep the smile off her face as the god walks over to her and places a soft peck on the back of her hands like it was the most casual thing to do. Her heart races then but she tries to ignore it as they go back to planning.

After the meeting, every body goes back to their personal errands, so naturally, Y/N is back to her computer screen, tirelessly working on several PR materials and reviews for both SHIELD and Stark Industries. She has been helping Pepper in running the new tech conglomerate as well.

Y/N releases a sigh for the nth time, before leaning onto the back of her chair with her eyes shut tight and fingers against her temples. It is a huge amount of work for her to balance everything in her own hands. More than this, there are stranger things happening to her. She is starting to feel shivers on her spine whenever her emotions are intense. She has once broken a glass by just willing it to, which messes with her brain even more. She is a trained fighter and combatant, but now she thinks that maybe it is because she is indeed...strange. or a freak? or simply... _not a mere Midgardian._

She is lost in her own train of thoughts when she hears Thor clear his throat as he leans against the frame of her office's door. "Oh, I did not see you there. Sorry." her face instantly brightens upon seeing him which pleases the god immensely.   
"Am I interrupting, my lady?" Thor asks thoughtfully, walking towards her table. "No, of course not," she reassures him as she walks towards him. "and what can I do for you?" she inquires.

Thor fidgets with his hammer for a second before speaking. "I was wondering whether you want to go for a walk? You seem a bit... stressed during the meeting, maybe you'd need a little breather.. Well.. if of course you do not mind my company."

Y/N tilts her head to one side as if assessing his intents, "Yes please. I would love to get out of here for a second.." she chuckles. "Where do you plan to go?"

Thor doesn't answer, instead, he pulls her towards the roofdeck of the tower, and holds out his hand for her. "Do you trust me, my lady?" Y/N could only nod as she grips his hand. Thor swiftly wraps his massive arms around her waist, making her balance herself by wrapping her arms around his neck. Thor smiles down at her, "Let's go for a ride, little dove." And with that, Thor flies them towards a nice cliff, just far out to see the city lights but far enough from any prying eyes.

"Wow. How the hell did you find this place?" she marvels. Thor lets out a soft chuckle. Y/N sits by the edge of the cliff and in mere seconds, Thor is beside her. "Why did you take me here?" she relaxes despite her heavily beating heart.

"I feel like something has changed between us over the years.." Thor utters without any hint of hesitations. "Every time I come to Midgard my thought is of you. I feel at home... with you." he looks at her, his eyes fixed on her as if peeking through her soul.

"Thor, I am... not Jane.." Y/N mutters under her breath, somehow, a piece of her shatters. She looks down on her fingers as if they are the most interesting thing in the world.

Thor shakes his head and takes her hand. His warm calloused hand encloses hers with the same warmth his smile emits, "Never in my thousand years have I felt like this.. I cannot identify what I am feeling, yet, but you make me feel." Y/N listens intently, mouth agape at every word he speaks. His hand tightens around her and everything becomes a blur. She looks up at him with the same astounded expression, "I.. Thor..."

Just before she could even finish, her phone beeps. They are needed in the tower.

\--

Thor flies them back to the tower but before parting ways with her, he presses a kiss on her forehead, placing one of her hand against his chest, clasping it tightly. "We'll talk about this again. But feel it, Y/N. I know you do." Y/N holds her breath until she could not and watches him assemble with the team. She is more shocked as she feels electricity coursing through her. She is dumbfounded.

"Damn it." 

The team prepares to take off and huddles in the Quinjet. Y/N and Hill bid them goodbye, but Y/N's eyes are on him.

_HYDRA has been found._


	4. Stolen - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting: Avengers: Age of Ultron | The team arrives back in the tower after getting Loki's scepter from the Hydra Base. This includes Tony's party and the attack afterwards where Y/N has finally accepted her abilities and her feelings for the god of thunder.

**_"We watched the season pull up its own stage_ **   
**_And catch the last weekend of the last week_ **   
**_Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced_ **   
**_Another sun soaked season fades away_ **

**_Invitation only grant farewells_ **   
**_Crash the best one of the best ones_ **   
**_Clear liquor and cloudy eyed_ **   
**_Too early to say goodnight_ **

**_And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration_ **   
**_One good stretch before our hibernation_ **   
**_Our dreams assured and we all_ **   
**_We'll sleep well, sleep well_ **

**_I watch you spin around in your highest heels_ **   
**_You are the best one of the best ones_ **   
**_We all look like we feel_ **   
**_You have stolen my heart"_ **

\--

"Clint? What happened?!" Y/N exclaimed, running towards the jet as she heard that he got injured, and ordered Dr. Cho's staff to quickly get him to the lab. She saw how deep the wound was and how worried Natasha was. Y/N ran towards the lab to make sure everything was fine.

"Hey Clint, how are you feeling?" she asked him, gently patting his arm.

"I am alright, kid. Let us trust the doctor." he answered, wincing a little bit.

She chuckled softly, "Good. We have a party to attend to so you better get your ass up, dad."

Clint was always protective of Y/N for some reasons. He treated her as a sister or if not, even a daughter. So naturally, Y/N felt really worried about him.

Once everything was settled, she helped Tony prepare the drinks.

"So what happened out there?" she asked, pouring the drink on the cups.

"Glad to see no one was too... harmed." mumbling as she sipped her drink, Y/N faced him.

"Yes. Thor's fine." Tony blurted.

Y/N shot him a sharp glance, "and where did that come from, Tony?" she raised an eyebrow while shaking her head as she avoided the conversation and went to the lab.

"You know what I mean, Y/N. You and Point Break." Tony called out.

"Ssshhh!!" Y/N glanced back, earning a huge smirk from him.

Y/N delivered the drinks to the team, while joking around with them. Tony then spoke about the party and invited Dr. Cho, who then asked whether Thor was coming. Tony's head instantly snapped to look at at Y/N, giving her teasing grin which she dismissed.

"Hey Nat, I am gonna go shopping for it, want to come?" she asked Natasha to ease her worry.

\--

Y/N and Natasha went out to have a nice chat. "Clint will be fine, Nat." she reassured her as they walked around. "Let's talk about you and Bruce." Natasha lips curled into a smirk, "That's not something we could answer, you know." Natasha murmured, "Bruce is a little... awkward."

"A little? Really?" Y/N asked, browsing through the racks of dresses.

"Doesn't change anything, does it? I mean, you definitely feel something for him."

Natasha threw her a glance that could kill, "like you with Thor?" Y/N raised her eyebrow and scoffed. "There is no denying, Y/N. You like the god, and he likes you." Natasha added, a shit-eating grin plastered on her face.

Y/N and Natasha had already met before, given that she worked as an undercover agent and infiltrated the Stark Industries as a part of the legal department, hence, they grew even closer once Y/N started working for the Avengers.

\--

The floor was buzzing. If there were three words to describe how Tony Stark throws a party, it would be lavish, quintessential, and well... loud. _Really loud._

Thor looked like a supermodel in his oxblood suit. If he wasn't surrounded with gawking ladies, Thor was in the company different guests listening to his stories along with Steve as he emptied his Asgardian wine.

Y/N joined the party just a tad bit late, but immediately caught the god of thunder's attention. She walked into the room donned in her black backless decollete dress and sky-high pair of heels. It had been a while since she last felt like dressing up so she took advantage of the party.

"And there she is! Lovely yet scary as ever," Steve joked, offering an arm which she gladly took by looping hers around his. "Promise to not stab anybody with those lethal heels." he added, leading her to the banquet.

"I make no promises, Steve." she flashed him a mischievous grin before walking towards the bar to greet some friends.

Thor's eyes were fixed on the goddess that was Y/N. It was the first time he had seen her without her usual black work suit. He had always found her lovely, but that night, he was mesmerized. He watched her spinning happily in the arms of her friends in a dance, careful not to spill the drink she was holding. Y/N always believed in the people around her and saw beauty even in the darkest times. She had been a good friend to Thor during the time he was confused, and her words of wisdom never failed to get him to think. 

_"Do I love her?"_ Thor thought to himself. 

_"Yes. I do."_

Never in thousand years had Thor felt this way. He felt... at home.

Thor had finally caught her alone. Y/N was leaning on the balcony, yet another drink in her hand as she tried to catch her breath and enjoy the alone time as the party started to die down.

"You beguile me, my lady." Thor admitted, sauntering towards her with his supermodel-slash-godly smile. "Hey, my lord." she uttered as she turned back and offered him a toast. Thor raised his glass and took the last step towards her. "You look ravishing, Y/N."

 _Oh, this god really has a way with words,_ she thought.

"You don't look bad, yourself. A little less... Asgardian looking, but still godly... and _handsome._ " _Oh._ She did not know where she got the courage. I must've been the alcohol talking, or it might've been her feelings. Nonetheless, Thor let out a cheeky laugh.

"Oh, Y/N. You don't know how long I have waited to hear you say that."

Y/N gulped but smiled up at him. "I know you do. I just did not want to step on your ego and disappoint you." she chuckled, trying to mask the creeping blush on her face.

"You never disappoint me, my lady." Thor replied, moving even closer to her which made Y/N's heart race. Y/N shifted on her heels to lean on the railing, overlooking the city. There was a minute of comfortable silence between them which was broken as Thor tilted his head to look at her and reopened their previous conversation.

"I guess we never finished speaking about how I feel, Y/N." Thor cleared his throat, gently wrapping an arm around her waist to so she could face him. Y/N's face inflamed.

"Thor..."

"Hear me out, yes?" Thor asked, cupping her face as his intense gaze met her shy ones. Y/N gulped but nodded curtly, looking back at his eyes.

"I told you that you make me feel. Before I did not know what it was, but now I understand. It is love, Y/N. You have stolen my heart." the god declared, running his thumb ever so gently on her cheek.

"How could that be? Again, Thor, I am not Jane.. or any other lady that caught your heart. I mean.. I am just me. I don't even know who I am." Y/N muttered, voice cracking at the sudden revelation. She knew she wanted him more than anything, but she was afraid.

"I know..." Thor nodded, pulling her closer and not letting go of her face.

"...but this that I feel now, I have never felt it before. This is unfamiliar, my lady. The love I had before was child's play, messy and rash. Everything was raging fire. But with you, it is like embers, still intense but coaxing a soft glow that is peaceful and warm. You are home, Y/N, and I have never been home in a long time.."

Y/N's insides melted with his words and with the way he held her. "How can I ever surpass those words?" she chuckled as she tried to hold back her tears. Thor pressed his forehead against hers, making her close her eyes so the tears finally fell free.

Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck and looked up at him, "Welcome home.."

Y/N earned a genuine smile from him and with his strong arms, Thor swept her off her feet and captured her lips in a soft yet passionate kiss. Y/N gasped as shivers ran down her spine. She kissed him back, letting go of all her inhibitions and all her fears.

That moment, nothing mattered. It was just the two of them.

Pulling away ever so slowly, Y/N let herself get lost in his electric eyes, as if trying to see if she'd wake up from this beautiful dream. Thor smiled down at him and pulled her back closer in yet another kiss. "I love you, Thor." Y/N whispered against his lips as feelings of pure bliss filled the both of them.

_They are both home._


	5. Stolen - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting: Y/N finally uses her ability and shocks the whole team.

**_"And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration_ **   
**_One good stretch before our hibernation_ **   
**_Our dreams assured and we all_ **   
**_We'll sleep well"_ **

\--

"Whoa.. that was something, huh?" Y/N smiled, nuzzling against Thor's chest after they shared their first kiss. Thor engulfed her in a tight hug and pressed a kiss on top of her head. "It was, my lady.. it was." Thor agreed, tilting Y/N's by her chin and placing a kiss on her forehead, cheeks, nose, then lips once more.

"We should probably get back inside." Y/N smirked against the kiss and Thor reluctantly pulled away. He was elated, and so was Y/N.

Back in the room, the team along with Hill, Cho, and Rhode huddled on the living area, all laughing about something Tony said. They all gave Y/N and Thor a teasing look but they opt to ignore it as they joined the conversation. As for Natasha and Bruce, well, they were also lost in their own conversation.

The team then picked on Thor's ability to weild Mjolnir. They all tried to lift the hammer starting with Clint. "Oh, Clint, you gotta be careful, we don't want yet another lab time with Dr. Cho." Y/N teased and team burst out laughing. He could not lift it, of course.   
Y/N watched the rest of them try it out, laughing on the failed attempts until Steve tried it out.

Y/N watched the hammer intently and saw it flinch a tad bit so he looked at Thor's expression. He had seen it as his face showed a bit of shock but tried masking it once Steve could not or _did not_ lift the hammer. Every body's eyes turned to Natasha who refused to do it, and turned to you. "Oh, no way. Let's leave it to the god." Y/N chuckled and Thor agreed.

"It's rigged.." Tony declared, "you bet your ass." Clint added earning another laugh.

"Steve, he said a bad language word." Maria caught Steve's attention and the poor fella shot Tony a death-glare,

"Did you tell everyone?"

Tony ignored him and suggested that the handle was imprinted and the whoever carrying Thor's fingerprint would be worthy.

"Yes. That's a very, very interesting theory. I have a simpler one..." Thor muttered standing up, and then effortlessly lifted the hammer, tossed it in the air, and caught it.

"You're all not worthy."

The god shrugged and the whole team groan at his statement.

Suddenly, a loud feedback and static noise filled the room which made them jump back to senses. In a minute, one of Tony's Iron Legion arrived in the room.

"Worthy... How could you be worthy? You're all killers."

His voice sounded like Jarvis, but did not. The robot babbled once more, looking at itself, "Sorry I was asleep... I had to kill the other guy.." the robot continued as Tony tried to see what was happening with his system.

"You killed someone?" Steve asked.

"wouldn't have been my first call, but down in the real world we're faced with ugly choices."

Y/N stood in a careful and calculated move and stood in front of Dr. Cho. "Who sent you?" Thor asked, and the robot played a recording of Tony's.

_"I see a suit of armor around the world.."_

Y/N gasped and looked at Tony.

"Ultron," Bruce recognised.

"In the flesh... or no, not yet..."

Y/N became even more worried after hearing it. It was definitely not Jarvis. Beside her, Thor gripped his hammer and Y/N started to once again feel the shivers down her spine and the tingling sensation on her fingers.

She was ready to fight.

"I am on mission.." Ultron muttered, "What mission?" Natasha asked, eyes sharp as ever.

"Peace on our time."

And with that, the rigged Iron Legions burst through the walls.

Y/N bravely fought with the team but everything went so quickly. Without any weapon at hand, Y/N stabbed one robot with her heels. "Sorry, Steve..." she groaned before one of the robots threw her towards the wall.

Y/N winced in pain but just before it attacked, she had controlled and launched a couch quick enough to trample the robot. She then willed one of the glass walls to break as she threw the robot out of it and blasted it mid-air with... _fire_.

"Oh, fuck.. how..." Y/N did not know how the hell she did that, but was thankful that she can. The amber gem in the middle of her necklace glowed, mimicking the goddess Freyja's Brisingamen. As she helped the rest of the team get rid of the robots, Y/N was able to summon two guns and started shooting the robots while trying to burn the others to ashes.

 _I can summon fire.._ she thought to herself as she noticed her necklace.

" _Freyja rules over the element of fire...why the hell am I connected to her?"_

After Thor killed the last robot after it revealed that it wanted the Avengers' extinction, Y/N perched herself on one table and looked at her hands and then her necklace. Neither did she know that the whole team was staring at her, mouths agape and still in awe.

"Girl, you have superpowers?" Maria asked her face surveying hers.

"I don't... I just.."

Y/N swallowed, this was new to her but she felt powerful.

"Telekinesis and pyrokinesis." Maria continued, ignoring her bleeding foot. "Well you look shocked, girlie. Nick will love you even more."

"There are more important things to discuss.." Y/N dismissed them, giving Tony a knowing look.

Thor kneeled before her as the team followed Stark to the lab. "Hey..." she smiled at him, her head still in daze, head bleeding lightly from the impact of her fall.

"Y/N, you are bleeding.." Thor pressed the edge of his sleeves to wipe the blood.

"I'll be okay.. it's just a scratch.." she softly stated, wiping the blood carefully.

"Remember when I told you that there is something more coursing through you? This is it, my love. What you did was brave and amazing." he mumbled and carefully tucked her hair behind her ears and placing a soft kiss on her trembling lips.

Y/N stood carefully and Thor wrapped his suit around her as he felt her shiver.

"The team needs you in the lab.. I shall follow.. I need to track the scepter.." Y/N nodded, "Be careful.." she gripped his hand before letting him go.

In the lab, Dr. Cho stitched the wound in her head while the team was discussing what happened. Y/N filled Pepper in on what happened to make sure she was safe.

\--

Thor was angry. They lost the scepter once more had to retrieve it again. There was an on-going argument between the team and Y/N had no place to be in the discussion but she could not just sit there.

"Thor.." she softly called out, pulling him away from Tony. She understood them both. Tony was scared and traumatized so he tried building the legion. Thor knew the consequences of these things and he knew how powerful the scepter is. But they needed to plan in order to win this. They had to win this together.

\--

There were series of events that happened that caused great distress to the Avengers and to the world. The mind stone was discovered and Vision was created. Thor had seen the infinity stones, and Vision had the mind stone.

 _Vision can wield Mjolnir_.

Half of the world was angry at the Avengers and Ultron was still alive. Sokovia was in danger.

Just before they left for Sokovia, Thor and Y/N had a minute to discuss things.

"I don't expect to understand everything.. I am not an Avenger... yet. But I promise to do all I can to help. I am not the best fighter but I guess I might know what do.."

Y/N looked up at him as his hands gripped hers.

"Please don't die..." she begged with soft chuckle and pulled him into a tight hug.

Thor nodded and kissed her deeply, savouring the moment while it lasted. "Wait for me, Y/N." Thor muttered kissing her forehead.

" _Always_."

\--

The war was on. The people of Sokovia were in grave danger and the city was... flying. At least that was she heard when she tried accessing FRIDAY and Tony for information.

Y/N contacted Maria and Nick to discuss the information, and sought rescue.

"The people need us, Nick. Tell me this is what SHIELD is all about, keeping the people safe." Nick agreed with her and started assembling the rescue.

"Y/N you are not coming with us.. It's not safe." Nick commanded, but Y/N was stubborn enough to disobey.

Y/N lifted her palm, shocking Nick she started to bend fire, creating a huge fireball before making it disappear.

"You don't need to protect me, Nick. You'll need me there.." Y/N walked pass him and turned to her heels to be inside the helicarrier.

Once they reached Sokovia, Y/N helped loading the people to the ships safely, fighting some of Ultron's robots off.

She set them ablaze while helping ensuring the perimeters were clear. Both Thor and Tony weren't in sight but Y/N knew they both had a plan... and she prayed to gods they both survive this.

Thor and Tony blew up the city before it reached the surface to avoid any further casualties. Whether they survived was something she could not answer, and it killed her inside.

More than an hour later, Tony and Thor reached SHIELD Helicarrier, all bruised up and bloody, but alive. Y/N released a sigh of relief and ran towards the both of them to hug them.

"I was goddamn worried you little shits!"

Tony hugged her back before moving to rest. Thor wrapped an arm around her and smiled,

"Thank you for the rescue.. Couldn't wait that long for me?" he asked.

"No, shit. I almost lost my mind. I am glad you're alive. We haven't even had a proper date yet. Would be a shame if you died." she chortled, lacing her fingers through his as she stood on tiptoes to kiss him.

"Oh boy, you need a shower." her face feigned disgust and Thor responded with a booming laugh and wrapped his arms around her even tighter.

"Yes, I love you too.."

_And with that, they flew back home. They were together for a while before the New Avenges Facility was founded._


	6. E.T.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting: Post Avengers Age of Ultron battle | Thor and Y/N spent their time together and things get... steamy  
> Warnings: graphic smut, smut, smuuuuut | NSFW 18+ 《please feel free to skip this chapter》

_**"You're so hypnotizing** _   
_**Could you be the devil, could you be an angel** _   
_**Your touch magnetizing** _   
_**Feels like I'm floating, leaves my body glowing** _

_**They say be afraid** _   
_**You're not like the others, futuristic lovers** _   
_**Different DNA, they don't understand you** _

_**You're so supersonic** _   
_**Wanna feel your powers, stun me with your lasers** _   
_**Your kiss is cosmic, every move is magic** _

_**You're from a whole other world** _   
_**A different dimension** _   
_**You open my eyes** _   
_**And I'm ready to go, lead me into the light** _

_**Kiss me, k-k-kiss me** _   
_**Infect me with your love, and fill me with your poison** _   
_**Take me, t-t-take me** _   
_**Wanna be your victim, ready for abduction** _   
_**Boy, you're an alien, your touch so foreign** _   
_**Its supernatural, extraterrestrial** _

_**There is this transcendental, on another level** _   
_**Boy, you're my lucky star** _   
_**I wanna walk on your wave length** _   
_**And be there when you vibrate** _   
_**For you I risk it all, all."** _

_**\--** _

After the battle of Sokovia, everything dialed down and the team had time to finally rest. As for Y/N and Thor, they made the most of their time together while Thor was still on Earth.

Thor promised Y/N a date, but by how famous he was, he needed a little bit more help in planning a more private date so naturally, he asked Tony.

Everything was set up so beautifully atop the Avengers Tower which was then repurposed for Stark Industries use again. The area was transformed into a nice private roofdeck restaurant adorned with various different flowers, a mobile bar, and perfect dinner set-up. All thanks to Pepper and Tony's expertise, of course.

As always, Y/N wore a black wrap-around velvet dress with plunging necklines which highlighted Y/N's necklace and well, her cleavage. She looked seductive yet still very modest. She was wearing a nice pair of heels to hopefully add more height given that the god of thunder is a giant.

Just as she put on her lipstick, her doorbell rang and she readily went to open the door of her flat to gorgeous, six-foot-four god that is her boyfriend. In his hands was a bouquet of tulips, her favourite flower. "My lady..." Thor smiled, eyeing her from head to toe. "Hi Thor. Well don't you like a complete snack.." she smirked, and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "Thank you, you little temptress. Dinner's served at 7pm. Shall we?"

\--

Y/N was surprised at how lavish the place was. It truly transformed into something else. There was a live string quartet who played her favourite melodies to her. The meal was scrumptious -- all her favourite dish served by one of New York's finest chefs. To add to that, they were served with a bottle of the most expensive champagne. It was her first dinner date for the longest time, but what she appreciated the most weren't the food nor the place, it was him. Her Asgardian god who went all the way to learn all these midgardian way of courtship for her. "This is perfect.." Y/N stared straight his soul and kissed him lovingly. "Thank you.." she muttered against his lips.

"You deserve so much more than this, Y/N. But I am glad you loved it." Thor cupped her face, pressing his lips against hers once more.

"My lady..." Thor stood and held her hand, kissing her knuckles, "would you do me the honour of dancing with me?" he asked and he never looked even more handsome. Y/N's lips curved into a huge grin and stood to wrap her arms around him, "It would be a pleasure, my lord." Thor pulled her closer as they danced slowly, savouring the moment. A few minutes later, Thor dipped Y/N for a searing kiss on her neck towards her lips. Y/N reciprocated the kiss that made her feel a lot of things. Butterflies went crazy on her stomach as heat surrounded her body and made her centre ache. Thor kissed her again for nth time that night, and it was taking all his will power not to take her then and there.

Time passed fleetingly and once the dinner ended, Thor and Y/N had a limousine back to her flat. Tension started to build once the door of the limo closed and they were left without the prying eyes as she closed the divider.

"You're mesmerizing, my love."

Thor uttered with a guttural sound before clasping the back of her neck and pulling her in for a heated kiss. Y/N parted her lips as Thor kissed her as if she was water and he was parched. Y/N released a soft moan as she felt his tongue against hers. Thor swiftly pulled Y/N on top to straddle him and pulled her even closer as they kiss, pouring all their pent up lust and desire for each other. Y/N groaned as she felt the growing bulge against her throbbing centre. Needing to release the tension as Thor traced kisses on the soft spots of her neck, Y/N ground against him causing him to bite and suck on her skin.

"Thor.." she breathed before Thor traced kissed towards her lips again. They moved together in perfect harmony while bruising each other lips in their heavy make-out session.

"I want you, Y/N. I need you."

The car pulled over signalling that they arrived and once they entered Y/N's flat, Thor quickly pulled her and pinned her against the door. "Y/N.. my love. Would you have me?" his voice was raspy as his lips lavished her with kisses that made her knees tremble. "Yes.. Thor, I need you..." Y/N nodded, wrapping her arms and legs around him as he effortlessly carried her towards her room.

Thor captured her lips once more as he untied her dress and caressed her body as the dress slid off her skin. Y/N pulled off his suit and unbuttoned his shirt, palming the perfect contours of his chest, abs, and the hard planes of his shoulders and back. Thor pushed her back on the bed as his hand ran from her belly towards her bra-clad breasts, easily pulling one out and taking it in his mouth. Thor licked, suckled, and bit her nipple hungrily as his fingers toyed with the other one. Y/N's breath was shallow and her eyes fluttered close from the sensation Thor was giving her.

"Oh gods... more..."

Y/N reached her back and unclasped her bra which Thor threw immediately. "You are perfect, Y/N. I have dreamed about this for the longest time. I will give you so much more." Thor whispered, pushing her breasts together and toying with her hardened buds. "I will worship your body like how a goddess should be treated."

Y/N mewled when Thor palmed her core through her lace panties, "You're dripping for me, my queen. Tell me this is mine, yes?" Thor's touch made her yearn for more and made her core throb and leak even more. His touch was incomparable and it ignited her insides more than she thought was possible.

"Take me, I am yours.." Y/N arched and lifted her hips to meet Thor's fingers and gain more pressure.

"Hush, my queen. I will pleasure you immensely."

Thor whispered against her lips before tracing open mouthed kisses on her chest, down to her belly, and towards her dripping centre. Thor removed the remaining pieces of clothing he was wearing and Y/N's mouth watered by just the sight of him. _He is a god, alright._ She thought to herself which was quickly replaced as she yelped as Thor ripped her panties off and pulled her by the edge of the bed.

Y/N bit her lip as Thor kissed her inner thighs and in a flash ran his skillful tongue in her slit while his thumb worked its magic on her nub. Y/N moaned loudly, her fingers weaving through his locks as she felt her climax rising through her.. "Oh fuck. Oh Thor... more.." she gyrated her hips against his mouth shamelessly.

Like an answered prayer, Thor pushed two long fingers inside her as his mouth and tongue sucked and played with her clit. He ate her as if she was his last meal while his fingers curled to push her buttons. Y/N's body was on fire and an intense wave of pleasure reached her spine as Thor hit the special spot inside which threw her over the edge. Thor kept fingerfucking and eating her, increasing his pace as she rode her orgasm. Thor kept his eyes on her, watching her fall before him with a carnal smile.

"Yes, give it to me, my love. Come for me.. You're sweet.. so good.."

Thor pulled out his fingers, sucked her juices clean, and went back down to lap up all her pleasure. Y/N heaved with a satisfying smirk as she reached for him and pulled him for a kiss. She tasted her pleasure in his mouth, which turned her on even more.

Thor's cock was more than hard and polished like teak wood. And he was... _hung. She nearly drooled from the sight._

Y/N kneeled before him as she pumped him, his swollen length twitched against her touch, but Thor held her off. "We have so much more time for that, but for now... I want you..." Thor pulled her to straddle him and let her rub against his cock as they kiss, coating him with her slick juices.

Thor kneaded her ass pulling closer as they move and guided her hips, eliciting a breathy moan from her. "Oh.. please.. tell me you want me as much as I want you, my queen.." Thor groaned, ever gently placing her down on the bed. Y/N parted her legs as Thor settled in between, his massive cock teasing her entrance as it glided through her folds. "Oh yes, Thor.. I want you. I am yours.." she cried out as Thor balanced himself with an arm beside her face as his length breached her entrance.

She was dripping but he was enormous so she needed time to adjust from the welcomed intrusion. Thor carefully pushed his cock in one swift move until he was fully inside her. "Oh my fucking--" Y/N moaned, wrapping a leg around him.

Thor swallowed Y/N's moan in hungry kisses as he started to thrust in and out, stretching her as his head repeatedly hit the spot inside her. At first, his thrusts were calculated and steady but once she started clenching around his length, Thor increased his pace, fucking her into oblivion.

They devoured each other in a frenzy of lips and tongue, biting and sucking each other. Thor felt her climax bubbling as she throbbed around her so he snaked a hand in between their body and worked on her clit. "My queen... let it go, fall apart for me.." Y/N mewled as she met his thrusts, nipples brushing against his chest, biting and sucking on his shoulder, and raking her nails on his skin.. "More... oh Thor... don't stop... fuck me.. fuck me..." and with his Thor groaned as she spiralled on her cosmic orgasm, her walls tightening around his cock as she hit her glorious climax.

Thor kept thrusting hard and fast, sending on the brink of another release as he sucked on her nipples to encourage her to cum again. "with me, my love.. again.." he moaned kissing her lips again as he pounded her to the mattress, "Thor... my king.." she begged, breathing against his lips, "come for me..." Y/N climaxed for the third time which sent the god to reach his climax as well, painting her walls with his warm, thick cum.

"Holy fuck... that was amazing." Y/N exclaimed and Thor chuckled. "You are amazing." Thor mumbled. They panted as they settle in each other's arms, limbs tangled together. Thor pulled out slowly, kissing her gently yet passionately. "I love you, my queen." his deep voice echoed through her. "I love you... my king."

_She smiled as Thor pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head, letting her nuzzle on him as she drifted off to sleep._

\--

Y/N was sprawled on top of him. Her head buried in the crook of his neck as she peacefully slept. They were skin to skin and despite how cold the room was, their bodies were warm against each other.

Thor was awake the whole time, his fingers weaving through her hair while his other hand traced soft circles on her skin as he watched her sleep. He was indeed home. Thor smiled at how Y/N's brows furrowed once he touched her soft spots and how she clung even tighter to him. He could not help it. Thor gently shifted his body so he could tilt her head. With his fingers, Thor inched her face closer to his. He stared at her as if she was the most precious thing on earth. Thor leaned and pressed his lips on her forehead, eyes, and nose. Thor then pecked the corner of her lips which earned a soft, sleepy purr from her. He then placed a kiss on her lips, coaxing her to wake.

Y/N slowly regained consciousness as their lips met. _Someone is kissing me... and holding me._ She slowly cracked her eyes open to see the Norse god of her dreams tangled with hers, flashing her his supermodel smile. _Oh, right. He is mine, alright._

 _"_ Gods, how can you be so handsome?" Y/N praised, watching his chest rise and fall as he breathed, hair tousled and lips still swollen from their kisses. "Like what you see?" he smirked, huge hands caressing her backside.

"How long was I asleep?" Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer until their forehead touched. "Not long, my love. An hour? less?" Thor breathed out, pecking and biting her lips in between words. Y/N's body tingled at the sensation he was giving her. Thor switched that button on again and her desire shot right through her, making her kiss him back deeply, tongue parting his lips as she claimed him. Y/N smirked as she felt his cock hardening against her belly.

"Hmm. you're captivating, my queen, do you know that?" Thor rumbled as he pulled her on top of him as they kiss. "You're driving me crazy, god of thunder.." she bit and tugged on his lower lip which made him squeeze and spank her ass, making her libido surge into thousand degrees. "It's my turn to worship you now.." And with that, Y/N kissed her way down to his massive cock.

Thor's mouth parted as Y/N marked her territory, leaving angry lovebites on his skin. Thor was crazy with love and lust. His cock hardened even more as Y/N started to pump him. Electricity coursed through his veins as Y/N tongue teased his length and the tip of his cock. Without a warning, Y/N took him into her mouth and sucked the living daylights out of him. Thor's body tensed and clenched, a low groan leaving his mouth as he forced himself to not close his eyes so she could watch her.

"What a sight... to behold.." Thor mumbled breathily, gripping Y/N's hair as she bobbed her head up and down his glory.

She tasted his pre-cum and felt his cock twitch once she gripped and pumped the areas that could not fit. To be fair, Y/N was trying not to choke in his behemoth of a cock. Y/N's body was set on fire even more as Thor finally closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensations, pants and moans leaving his plump lips as she sucked him off. Y/N could not help but played with her breasts and nipples to ease her needs and then slowly moved her hands towards her core to ease any pressure.

Y/N moaned against his cock and once Thor noticed what she was doing, he could not leave her like that. As much as Thor loved her mouth around his hammer, he was more determined to worship her body and could not leave her wanting.

"Y/N, my love." he cooed and lifted her head off him and guided her towards him as he sat and leaned back on the headboard. "But..." Y/N protested. "Hush, little dove.. I want you." Thor reassured her as she straddled him, their lips meeting in a needy kiss.

Thor's hands quickly cupped her breasts as he pinched her nipples before taking them to his mouth, noisily sucking the hardened buds, teasing the tips with his tongue. Y/N cried out in pleasure and her hips started moving to ease hee throbbbing core.

Y/N's body arched and she threw her head back as Thor lifted her body only to guide his length towards her entrance then breached her tight walls, pulling her back down so he was fully sheathed inside her.

"Oh fuck!" Y/N mewled at how he stretched her. Y/N kissed him as she started to move in a slow, gentle pace, lifting her hips off him and taking him back in her tight walls as she sunk while Thor thrust his hips to meet her.

The way they moved was beautiful. They were in perfect unison as if their stars aligned at that perfect moment. It was more than just physical connection. It was emotional, mental, and even _spiritual._

Thor caressed every inch of her as if she was fine China, and she looked straight into his eyes, in a silent adoration, a mutual understanding of what the other was feeling without even saying it.

Thor then gripped her ass and met her movements, thrusting towards her as they increased the pace. Thor groaned at the sight of Y/N riding him, tits bouncing, lips agape, and skin shivering with desire.

"Yes, take me, my queen.. I am all yours." Thor groaned and thumbed her clit once he felt her nearing.

"No... wait... more..." she begged, holding herself off as she fucked him. "Please, more..." groaning and panting, Y/N moved her hips in figure eights to take him even deeper as her walls clench around him in playful motions. Thor noticed Y/N panting heavily and he knew she was getting tired so in a swift motion, he rolled them over so he was on top and started hammering his cock inside her.

"Don't hold back, my love... don't hold back. Feel it, my queen." Thor's thrusts quickened as his own pleasure ignited inside him. "With me, my lady..." he groaned, pistoning and hitting all the spots inside her that made her convulse.

"Oh, Thor!" She wrapped both legs around him pulling him impossibly close as they fuck, his pelvis hitting her clit as they moved.

"That's it, my love... come for me." Thor muttered against her ear, nipping and sucking on her earlobe. With a last thrust, Y/N reached her peak, her body bowing at how intense her climax was. Thor's muscle rippled with pleasure as he let himself go, fucking her on the pool of sheets as he came with sloppy thrusts before coming back down to earth with a groan of her name.

"Oh... you are a god.." Y/N breathed out with a last moan. "And you.. are a goddess.. and you are mine." he gave her a lingering kiss before pulling her closer and wrapping his arms around her. " and I am yours.. always."

_It was perfect. Everything was perfect._


	7. Thunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting: This series of events unfold before and around the same time as Civil War up until Thor: Ragnarok. Y/N and Thor face their own battles and the battles of the world around them. Then there is the continuation of the events building up to Ragnarok. Y/N and Thor met Dr. Strange.

_**"Today is a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go, whoa** _   
_**Today in the blink of an eye** _   
_**I'm holding on to something and I do not know why** _   
_**I tried** _

_**I tried to read between the lines** _   
_**I tried to look in your eyes** _   
_**I want a simple explanation** _   
_**For what I'm feeling inside** _   
_**I gotta find a way out** _   
_**Maybe there's a way out** _

_**Today is a winding road** _   
_**Tell me where to start** _   
_**and tell me something I don't know** _   
_**Today I'm on my own** _   
_**I can't move a muscle al** _   
_**and I can't pick up the phone** _   
_**I don't know** _

_**And now I'm itching for the tall grass** _   
_**And longing for the breeze** _   
_**I need to step outside** _   
_**Just to see if I can breathe** _   
_**I gotta find a way out** _   
_**Maybe there's a way out** _

_**Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope** _   
_**I'm wrapped up in vines** _   
_**I think we'll make it out** _   
_**But you just gotta give me time** _   
_**Strike me down with lightning** _   
_**Let me feel you in my veins** _   
_**I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain** _

_**Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer** _   
_**Do you know you're unlike any other?** _   
_**You'll always be my thunder, and I said** _   
_**Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors** _   
_**I don't wanna ever love another** _   
_**You'll always be my thunder** _   
_**So bring on the rain** _

_**Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer** _   
_**Do you know you're unlike any other?** _   
_**You'll always be my thunder** _   
_**So bring on the rain** _   
_**Oh baby bring on the pain** _   
_**And listen to the thunder"** _

_**~~~** _

Thor left Midgard after the battle of Sokovia because he felt the need to see what had been happening. There was a higher power plotting all the events that unfolded and since he got the vision of the infinity stones, he could not find peace. Not unless he is with her.

Thor travelled quite a lot and by travel, it meant that he was in space, other worlds, other dimensions. Y/N could not always wrap her head around his stories, finding it crazy to believe. But she always believed, and always waited for his stories.

Y/N... well, she was stuck in bloodbath between the government and the Avengers; and between her friends. It made her even more lonely as things started to complicate.

They were in a seriously complicated LDR. What can she say, the perks of dating a Norse god were amazing. And the cons? Well, crazy. _Batshit crazy._

-

It has been nearly two months since Thor left Midgard for yet another adventure in outer space. She had started to find it difficult to even sleep at night without his warmth around her, without the sound of his steady beating heart lulling her to sleep, and without his soft, lingering kisses before she closes her eyes and just as she awakens. Y/N made him promise to send her thunder and lighting and rain so she could watch them whenever she missed him. She had become ceraunophilic because of this.

Every night before she slept, she waited for torrents to come. The low rumble of thunder and lightning assured her that her love was fine and safe, and that he would come back for her. And he did. He always did.

-

One fine morning, Y/N woke up a little less lethargic than the previous ones. She had tye energy to get out of bed and make breakfast for herself which she rarely did.

Still in her silk nighties, Y/N swayed her hips to the jazz music playing on her antique vinyl as she blitzed some fresh berries and cream for her smoothie. Y/N was happy, she thought that maybe her love will come home soon.

Outside, the sun was covered with dark clouds and a low roll of thunder filled the sky. Hearing this and seeing the flashes of lightning from her window, her lips formed into a huge grin.

Y/N masked her excitement by buttering her toast and then placing it in her oven. From outside, she looked like a usual, happy morning person, but from the inside, she was tumbling and breakdancing with excitement, longing, desire, and pure joy.

It wasn't long before she heard the door slid open and she was face to face with her supermodel-slash-Norsegod-hottestlivingthing of a boyfriend.

_Her heart leapt. Out of an airplane. Without a parachute._

"Please tell me you did not break my windows, again..." she groaned, playfully ignoring him to walk to her massive fridge only to pop some berries to her mouth.

Thor shook his head, grinning and eyeing her. To him, she got even more beautiful as time passed. With few long strides, Thor had her pinned on the opened glass door of the fridge, instantly sending shivers to her spine. Y/N smiled and looked into his mesmerizing eyes, all too familiar to her. In a blink, Thor claimed her lips bruising kisses.

 _"Ég saknaði þín."_ Thor breathed out, biting her lower lip.

"I missed you, too, I almost died." Y/N closed her eyes and ran her hands against his warm body.

Y/N pulled away slowly and then playfully punched his chest. "What took you so long?!" raising her eyebrow at him, Thor caressed her cheek with his knuckles to soothe her.

"My lady, I--" before he could even finish, Y/N took a step away from the fridge and away from him.

"Nevermind, I am making breakfast." she mumbled making Thor grip her by the arm and yank her towards him, claiming her lips again.

He had her trapped and propped against the counter top beside the fridge just a second after he kissed her.

"We can have our breakfast here..."

Thor gave her a carnal smirk as she found him grabbing a fresh strawberry from the bowl in the fridge and placing it in between their lips. "Take a bite," and she did, juice dripping from her lips which was then cleaned up as Thor kissed her, tasting the fruit. Y/N chuckled and dipped one strawberry on the whipped cream and popped it in between their mouths as they devoured the fruit in a messy feast, biting, licking, and sucking each other in the process.

It wasn't long before Y/N was dripping and Thor was throbbing. They kept making out and playing with the whipped cream, berries, and chocolate syrup, and eating it off of their skin.

"These things taste better on you, Y/N." he grumbled, licking a stripe of chocolate syrup from her chest.

"You cheeky bastard.." Y/N gasped as he expertly removed her panties and prepared her for him. 

Thor did not have to do much as she was practically drenched from their shenanigans and from her pent-up needs. He caressed her skin and kissed her hard as she parted her legs and pulled him in between, easily working on his pants. His height was an obvious advantage as he slipped inside her in one swift thrust.

"Holy Zeus!"

"Wrong god, love."

Thor chuckled in laboured breath, increasing his pace. With a couple more frantic movements and kisses, Y/N toes tingled and her whole body shook as both of them reached their highs.

"Oh yea.. I missed that a lot as well." she nickered, laying on lap as he sat on the kitchen floor. Thor's breathing was heavy and the rise and fall of his chest brought a lot of comfort to her.

"I love you. I am here now, my lady." Thor reassured her, as if reading her mind.

"I love you, too, but we need a shower. and I am taking a week off." she chuckled.

\--

"So, what had been happening with the team? What was the Sokovia Accords you told me about?" Thor asked Y/N as they cuddled in bed one night after Y/N and Tony had an intense discussion.

"Well, it only means that the United Nations wants the Avenger to not be a private entity.. After the series of events happened in New York, in D.C., in Sokovia, they fear that there are an increase in the number of enhanced.. The government want to monitor the Avengers... and the other possible enhanced." Y/N walked him through the details of the accord, moving to show him the detailed pages of the agreement. "It was a handful of work... more than I have ever imagined. I needed to protect the team, but they are all stubborn. My publicity projects and plans aren't working anymore. Countries are scared shitless. Tony signed. Steve refused." she sighed, clinging tighter onto him.

"If the government wants to control us, then it will supress our abilities to foresee possible threats." Thor muttered, "and with what has been happening, it is not good.." Y/N nodded and rested her chin on his chest, "That's why we need you under the radar, Thor.."

Thor ran his fingers through her hair as she spoke, "Tony and Steve are assembling their own team.. against each other." she finished, staring straight into his eyes.

"And they did not invite me?" Thor's brow furrowed as disappointment etched on his face.

"I did not tell them you are here.. I never let them know when you visit.. they are clueless unless you decide to show up. Baby, they have no way of reaching you, you know.." Y/N took his hand and kissed his knuckles. "I don't want you standing in between them for a fight. You have other realms to protect, not just Midgard. and this war... is well.." she paused, face scrunched as she looked for the right word.

She thought that there a lot of petty layers to that war, and she knew it isn't something Thor would appreciate. "...it has a lot of personal vendetta. We have bigger wars to win, and both you and I know that." she trailed, Thor nodding and enclosing her in a hug. "I need you to promise me, Thor. You'll be under radar. That's the only subtle way we can still protect them.. and protect the world."

Thor agreed with her. He knew deep inside him that had bigger wars to win and far stronger enemies to face. She was right. "I promise, my queen." Thor gave her a faint smile, clasping her nape as he kissed her.

~~

Things did not go well between Steve and Tony, and the rest of the team. It did not sit well with Y/N that the Avengers broke up during the time that a bigger enemy was coming.

_She saw the earth, barren and empty. She stood alone in the Time Square.. The usual place buzzing with people and cars and colourful billboards now quiet and sullen without any life in sight... And she saw all the people she loved dearly gone before her eyes._

Y/N shot up from her bed, drenched in cold sweat as she gasped for air that she held during her dream. Or _vision._ Whatever that nightmare was. It wasn't easy given that Thor was away, exploring the unknown and ensuring there were no threats coming, yet.

Y/N broke into an anguished cry as she had seen that same scene for the nth time. Tears cascaded on her cheeks as her nails dug a hole on her duvet while she tried to collect herself.

_She had no one but herself at that moment, so as she always did, she wiped her tears away._

* * *

**_"Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope_ **   
**_I'm wrapped up in vines_ **   
**_I think we'll make it out_ **   
**_But you just gotta give me time_ **   
**_Strike me down with lightning_ **   
**_Let me feel you in my veins_ **   
**_I wanna let you know_ **   
**_how much I feel your pain"_ **

**_~~_ **

**_¤Y/N's POV¤_ **

It was just a couple of months later since Thor came back. He was relentless. Although, relief coursed through me once I saw him safe and still in one piece. It was hard knowing that he was doing his best to protect all of the nine realms from threats but it way harder knowing that he was alone and always in danger.

In his 1500 years of existence, he always had different enemies trying to kill and defeat him but to no avail. This time, however, I noticed that he became more vulnerable. I despised thinking I am part of the hindrances why he could not focus on Asgard and protecting the throne. I should be standing beside him, fighting beside him, and winning beside him. _Or losing._ Whichever the fates willed.

But now he was back and it was all that mattered. I couldn't care less of any of these things as I watched him devouring three servings of his favourite meal. It warmed me to just be with him in simple days like this. It killed me to think this, like everything, will eventually come to an end.

I was lost in my train of thoughts until Thor clasped my hand from across the table, "My lady," he called, rescuing me from the dark corners of my mind. "...is everything well?" He surveyed me, and I helped myself not to drown in his ocean eyes. I noticed his dark circles forming and little wrinkles surrounding the corners, yet his eyes still had that strong, steady gaze. He was still able to look past my barriers.

"I was just thinking..." I gulped, running my thumb in the back of his hand as our eyes stared intently at each other. "...maybe I-- maybe I could come with you the next time you leave, you know.. just.. just so I can see what's out there and all.." I gave him a warm smile and tried to hide the obvious reasons why I really wanted to come with him and be with him. Always.

Thor smiled at me and without letting go of my hand, he kneeled from where I was sitting and perched himself in between my thighs. He held by hand with both of his, pressing gentle pecks on my knuckles and fingers before nuzzling his cheek on my palm. I caressed his soft, rosy cheek with my thumb as he closed his eyes and cooed like a babe. I chuckled at his actions but then he straightened to pull me closer, my forehead against his as he pecked the tip of my nose.

"Y/N," he murmured under his breath, lacing his fingers on my hand that he nuzzled into as he pulled away enough to look me in the eyes. "You are aware how dangerous it is out there. But to be honest, there isn't a time when I don't want to pack you in drawstring and carry you around with me wherever I go." I playfully punched his chest before he caught my other hand. "Why won't you do that? That would be a nice adventure." I flashed him a playful smile.

"You just can't enough of me, can you, my lady?" He stood, pulling me to my feet before hoisting me up on his shoulder. I shrieked and chuckled as he carried me like a prey. "Put me down!" I squealed and he obliged by playfully throwing me to the couch.

Thor always had a way of making situations a little less heavy. He may be the god of thunder, but he never failed to calm the raging storm inside me.

"I will never get enough of you, Point Break, you know me well." I chuckled. My heart pounded as Thor sat beside me and cradled me into his massive arms.

"Me either, girl on fire. However, I can't have you gawking and oogling at me while we fend off our enemies, my queen." his arms draw circles at my back as he held me closer. I looked up at him and that was when I noticed it -- a hint of worry plastered on his face as his eyes stared blankly at the wall. I ran my fingers through his hair, hoping to silently comfort and assure him that we'll get through these challenges so long as we are together.

"I understand why you won't take me with you." I nodded, voice soft and breathy. Thor leaned closer to kiss me then buried his face on the crook of my neck. I basked in that very moment of serenity.

"I will always come home to you, my queen." Thor breathed against my skin in a silent promise. He held me as if his life depended on it, as if someone will take me away any moment. He held me and everything was alright in the world again.

_**¤¤¤¤¤¤** _

Thor chose to spend time a little longer in Midgard. With the imminent threat lurking, he and Y/N decided that Y/N should be more ready. Y/N had him help her explore her ability to control fire and metals, as well as her telekinesis, or in her own word, _magic._

"I need to have something to help me channel my energy... or my ability," Y/N suggested as she sat in the ground, regaining her strength after their strenuous activity.

Thor arched a brow, "What do you mean?" He sat beside her and wrapped a tower around her sweaty body. "I meant.. well you have your Mjolnir, so you are in control better control of lightning. I need something similar.. a weapon that might help me control or perhaps enhance my ability." Y/N suggested, "I guess I might need Tony's help on this."

"My lady, we are training so you could defend yourself. I don't think there is a need for you to have a weapon." he paused, tucking loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Your ability alone can protect you."

"What if a war arrives?" she asked, looking up at him. Thor sighed and laced their fingers together. "That's what bothers you all this time, isn't it?" Thor fidgeted with her fingers. "I can feel it coming, Y/N. But I can't have you standing in the midst of a war like that. I can't.." His brows furrowed. Just the thought of losing her would kill him for eternity.

Y/N understood his fear. After all, she felt the same way that moment, she could not lose him when he's the only one she has. Y/N leaned onto his shoulder. "I'll go through hell and back for this. For you." Y/N whispered and Thor snickered then smiled down at her and pressed a kiss on top of her head. "You're just as stubborn as I am, my love."

**_¤Y/N's POV¤_ **

For a couple of weeks, Thor and I had been following the same routine -- food, training, Netflix and chill, sex, and sleepy cuddles. It was heaven. It was as if we were a normal couple for once. But, much to our dismay, it did not last that long, though.

I was shaken from my peaceful slumber when Thor started thrashing and screaming bloody murder beside me. "No.. NO!!" he cried out in his sleep, beads of sweat forming on his forehead as the sheets covering his bare body drenched cold.

"Thor! Thor, wake up!" I gasped as I struggled to hold his trembling body. "Baby, wake up!" I gently pat his cheek as I shook him awake.

Thor's massive form shot up, hurling me off the bed and towards the wall. I winced in pain but ignored it as hurriedly climbed back to bed to check on him. His whole body was covered in sweat as fear filled his usually bright eyes.

"Hey.. Hey, it's okay.. It's just a dream.." I knelt in front of him and tilted his head by his chin. "Hey..." I breathed, cupping his cheek as his heavy breathing slowly steadied. Thor's body was still trembling but he found strength to loop his arms around my waist as he buried his face in my chest.

"I am here, my love. I am here." I pulled him closer, running my fingers through his hair as he rocked us both.

"Did I hurt you? I am sorry, my love." he asked, checking my body for any signs of injury. "Hey, hey.. I am fine. I am alright." I assured him before pressing my forehead against his, holding him by his nape. Thor gripped the hem of my shirt as he lifted his head to kiss me frantically. I kissed him with the same intensity as we held each other tight, only pulling away to gasp for air.

I let Thor hold me for a long while and stayed close to him until the he calmed down. I gently pushed his back to lean in the headboard as I straddled him. He placed his head right on my chest, listening to my steady heart beat. His hands clasped my back as I rested my chin on top of his head.

"Asgard." Thor broke the deafening silence. "I dreamt of Asgard again.. in ruins, up in flames.. then Surtur was in the middle of it.", he looked up at me, gulping as tears filled the brim of his eyes. "and I could not do anything about it." His lips trembled as he detailed and filled me in on who Surtur was. I felt how worried he was. I felt his pain.

"What if these visions are correct? What if it happens and I cannot really save anyone? What if I fail?" Thor's voice was deep and tremulous. He shut his eyes tight and I felt him grip my shirt, balling his fist around it.

My heart shattered at the sight of him like this. "Thor." I encouraged him to look at me as I snaked my hands on the back of his neck. He gulped and stared straight into me, his eyes still glassy. "You've already proven yourself worthy and mighty a million times before. Now is not the time to doubt yourself."

"But this is not like before. If it so happens, I'd lose my home and my people."

"Then, don't let it happen. You are the god of thunder. You are stronger than your enemies. You are wise and perceptive. You're stubborn and hard headed as your hammer. You won't let anything stand against your way. Because you are a hero. and that's what heroes do."

I paused as I felt him release his tension, his head leaning back on the headboard. I caressed his cheek with my knuckles and he sighed at the sensation. _Oh, my love._

"Thor, intelligence won wars, not just brute force. But more than that, you won't fight that battle alone."

Thor did not speak but his soft smile and the lone tear on his cheek assured me that he knew that I have faith in him. Thor gripped my face with both of his hands, and like prayer, he whispered against my lips. "Thank you, my queen."

\--

The following morning, I woke up with the sun peeking through the curtains. I snuggled against his warm body as Thor watched me.

"Hey, handsome. You feel any better now?" I yawned and stretched before trying to leave the bed. Just as I was about to sit, Thor tightened his hold on me and cuddled me closer.

"Let's stay like this longer.." he kissed my forehead and nose, and claimed my lips in a loving kiss.

I held my breath. In our years together, this had always been Thor's silent hint that he plans to leave. I never stopped him from leaving, not even once. I knew there were complications when I signed up to this relationship. It broke my heart every time but I never showed him that. I never wanted him to leave this time, but I knew he had to.

I savoured the last moment we had together before he left again. That morning was filled with kisses and grunts and moans and pants. Thor made love to me in the most gentle yet most passionate way possible. We poured our soul together and surrendered everything in our perfect symphony.

Once we were both spent, Thor traced kisses along my spine before smothering my neck and chest with his lips in languid movements.

"I love you, Y/N. I will come back home to you. Always."

"I love you, too, Thor. And I will wait for you. Always have, always will."

**_¤¤¤¤¤¤_ **

It had been about a month since Thor left. Y/N's ability grew stronger and she started learning to control it even more. Thor hadn't visited her in a while but she busied herself working and training. There weren't times when thoughts of him left her. He was always lurking in the corners of her mind. She was always worried, but was always confident that each day that passed brought her closer to seeing him again.

Y/N was busy working in the tower once her door opened to reveal the god of thunder. Y/N lifted her head to see who it was and when she saw him, she sprinted towards him, huge smile plastered on her face. Wrapping both arms and legs around him, Y/N kissed him deeply.

"Oh, love. You're back.." she whispered breathily.

"I am... but I don't have much time, love." Thor kissed her, biting and sucking her lips and tongue as if she sustained him. He carried her effortlessly, holding her closer and endulging in her warmth.

After their steamy kiss, Y/N pulled away reluctantly and Thor set her back to her feet.

Y/N nodded as she pulled him towards her office lounge. "What happened?"

"He was alive. Surtur. I was captured and we fought. I managed to kill him, though." Thor looked down at his hand, fiddling with a piece of paper.

"There is another peron who I thought to be dead..." he trailed off, pinching the bridge of his nose. "...who turned out to be alive. I was fooled once more." With an exasperated sigh, Thor leaned back on the cushions of the sofa, palming his face in agitation.

"Loki? B-but how?" Y/N's face scrunched in confusion, "where is he now?" she pulled his hand off his face.

Thor raised the card he was holding. _177a Bleecker Street._

"What's this?"

"Loki is with me. We are looking for Odin. He left Odin here in Midgard, in a care home." He mused, "but the shelter was being demolished we got there. Now we are clueless where Odin is. Loki disappeared through a portal and he said it wasn't him doing the magic. Then this card appeared." Thor placed the card on the glass table as he gulped the water Y/N gave him.

Y/N took the card and searched the address on her mobile. "Let's go then. It's not far from here." She walked towards her work station and gathered her stuff and took her car keys.

Throughout the drive, Thor looked both upset and worried. His brows furrowed, his lips tight. Y/N felt the storm inside him. She reached her hand towards his and laced their fingers.

"Ease your storm, thunder. We're going to find them both." Y/N gave him her assuring smile before taking his hand and pressing soft kisses on the back of it.

"We're here." Y/N pulled over on the side of the road and got out of the car few minutes later.

Thor carried Mjolnir disguised as an umbrella with one hand as his other hand wrapped around her protectively as they approached the door.

He knocked once then they were inside in a blink.

"Thor Odinson." a voice boomed behind them. Thor turned, pushing Y/N behind him to no avail as the stranger started approaching them.

"I see you brought a company." the man smiled softly, suddenly transporting the three of them in yet another room.

"Pleased to meet you, Y/N, daughter of Freyja."

Y/N arched her brow and looked at Thor who flashed her the same confused look.

"What did you say?" Y/N walked towards him, "and who are you? how did you know my name?"

"I am Dr. Stephen Strange." the wizard introduced himself. He explained the reason why he summoned Thor and questioned him why he brought Loki back to earth. He mentioned that he knew where Odin was and can help Thor find him.

They transported from one room to another as they conversed which scared and confused Y/N even more. They settled in an enormous library as the man looked for different incantations so he can create a portal to where Odin was. He was in Norway, apparently.

"Very well," Thor cleared his throat, "you still hadn't answered her question, though. How did you know her?" Thor tilted his head towards Y/N's direction.

"You are a demigod, Y/N. We keep tabs of beings from other realms here in the Sanctum. And you are one of them."

"I grew up in New York, sir. I grew up under the care of the Starks." she shook her head, unable to process what he was saying.

"Exactly. And you have no idea who your real parents are. The only thing they left you was that necklace." He said, pointing the book he was holding to her necklace.

"You mother left you here on earth to save you from the horrors of the other realms. We know. You mother is a goddess of magical arts. The goddess of love and beauty, of battle, of nature..."

"I know Freyja. I googled her a lot. But it's not possible... it couldn't be.." Y/N scoffed, looking at Thor who was rubbing her back to soothe her.

"And how impossible it is that you are dating the god of thunder who also came from legends?" the doctor challenged her, eyeing the god beside her.

"That's the reason you have telekinesis... it's _magic._ Much like Loki's.. that's the reason you can control fire... it's Freyja's main element.." Thor explained to her, "you are much like me, my lady." his eyes brightened with adoration and relief that he was right.

Thor continued, "You aren't just a mere Midgardian. I was right." he chuckled softly, "You are the daughter of the most powerful Vanir goddess. Freyja of Vanaheim. She lived on Asgard after the war of the Aesirs and Vanirs. She is the leader of the Valkyries."

Y/N was left slack-jawed. "Whoa..." she closed her eyes and shook her head at the revelation.

Thor smirked at her, "You're far stronger than any midgardian, including Rogers. That's why you can sustain long hours of..." and before Thor could even continue, Y/N shut him up with her hand on his lips. "Hey! That's not something we can discuss here!" she groaned, her cheeks beet red.

Strange shook his head at the two of them. "I know you still have questions. But Thor... you have to hurry. and I think I need a strand of your hair."

"My hair is not to be meddled wi... AAHCK!" Y/N chuckled as he rubbed the scalp from where the doctor plucked his hair.

Strange used the strand of his hair to create a portal to Odin. In a second, Thor was rollig off the flight of stairs. "We could've just walked."

"There's Odin.." the man said, "and don't forget your umbrella."

Thor nodded, "Right.." he extended his arms and summoned Mjolnir. They heard glasses and pieces of furniture breaking, "Ssss....orry." Thor's face scrunched, earning a chuckle from Y/N.

Just before Thor left, he asked Strange to give and Y/N a second to speak.

"I hate to say good bye again.. We didn't even had the chance to celebrate you..." Thor breathed, cupping her cheek.

"I am more than happy to know that.. and I am more than happy for this time given to us. We'd have plenty of time to celebrate." She placed her hand on top of his, "but for now, Asgard needs you. Your father needs you."

Thor's chest tighten at the thought of leaving her again, but she was right. Thor engulfed her in a tight hug before placing a lingering kiss on her lips, memorizing the feel of it against his.

"I will wait for you. You'll always be my Thunder." Y/N peeked into his soul through his eyes, "Now go be a hero." she assured him, patting his chest.

Thor cleared his throat, "I need my brother." he looked at the man, straightening his back.

"Ah, right." Strange opened a portal to a screaming Loki.

He fell flat to his face, agitated and embarrassed, "I have been falling for thirty minutes!"

Thor took the chance to place another quick kiss on her lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Loki charged at the man, daggers at hand. Y/N stepped back as Thor held Loki off.

"Alright, bye." Strange pushed the portal towards the brothers and they disappeared.

Y/N heaved as she realised she was holding her breath the whole time.

"Tea?" Strange asked him and Y/N could only nod.

_Little did she know, the Ragnarok had begun._


	8. To Wish Impossible Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting: This is set during Ragnarok towards the events in Infinity War. I also added some parts assuming Tony and Pepper's wedding before the Infinity War.

**_"Remember how it used to be_ **   
**_When the sun would fill up the sky_ **   
**_Remember how we used to feel_ **   
**_Those days would never end_ **   
**_Those days would never end_ **

**_Remember how it used to be_ **   
**_When the stars would fill the sky_ **   
**_Remember how we used to dream_ **   
**_Those nights would never end_ **   
**_Those nights would never end_ **

**_It was the sweetness of your skin_ **   
**_It was the hope of all we might have been_ **   
**_That fills me with the hope to wish_ **   
**_Impossible things_ **

**_But now the sun shines cold_ **   
**_And all the sky is grey_ **   
**_The stars are dimmed by clouds and tears_ **   
**_And all I wish is gone away_ **   
**_All I wish is gone away"_ **

\--

It had been a couple of months since Thor left with Loki and Y/N hadn't heard from him, still. It started to get harder and harder for Y/N to sleep at night without the comforting rain or rolls of thunder Thor used to send her to assure her that everything was alright, and that he was coming back.

Those nights were gone. Her nights were then filled with visions of death and destruction.

She dreamt of Thor every time she fell asleep. It was the same dream -- Thor screaming for help before the place and the people started to burn and disappear before him.

During those nights, Y/N screamed his name until she woke up to find her bed, her home empty.

The gaping hole in her heart grew bigger each day. She was restless. Most of the time, she gripped the pillows he used, breathing in the faintest smell of him left.

For months she curled in bed at night, waiting for him, longing for the warmth of his skin against hers, and dying to hear him say that things were going to be okay.

Every night his voice echoed through her soul.

_Y/N, you are my queen._

_You are and will always be my love._

_You're going to give me perfect children and we'll raise a happy family together._

_Someday, we won't have to say good bye. Not anymore._

During these nights, Y/N woke up in the puddle of her tears as she tried to relive these moments.

_Oh, to wish impossible things._

\--

Tony and Pepper paid her a visit one morning to deliver a good news to her. They were getting married. Despite how awful she was during those months, Y/N was ecstatic to find about the news. Although, Tony noticed her smile did not quite reach her eyes.

"Oh finally!" she exclaimed, giving Pepper a tight hug before turning to Tony.

"Don't fuck this up, Tony"

"Never."

He reassured her, giving her a tight hug. Pepper excused herself to take a call from the wedding planner so Tony took a chance to speak with her.

"I assume and hope that Point Break will be back for the wedding."

"I pray to all the gods he does. I've been having these terrible, terrible dreams..."

Y/N's lip trembled at the mention of her love. Tony noticed her in the brink of tears which made him pull her in another hug, which made Y/N give up.

"He will be okay. He will come back to you.. He's way stronger than anything."

He patted her head and Y/N broke out in tears, gripping Tony's shirt.

"You can come home... come home with us. He'd know where to find you." Tony whispered, gently rubbing her back before Pepper walked back and gave her some tissue.

"Oh, gosh! I am so sorry." Y/N groaned and wiped her tears. "I didn't mean to ruin the moment. This about you guys!" she chuckled softly, sniffling on the tissue.

"Help me plan the wedding. It will be in a month so we got lots of stuff to do." Pepper smiled and brushed her hair softly. "That will distract you while waiting for him, okay?"

"Sounds good to me." Y/N nodded, promising to stay with Tony and Pepper for a while before the wedding.

\--

Surprisingly, Pepper and Tony's wedding was simple yet intimate. Y/N was genuinely happy for the two of them but there was not a second her heart stopped aching at the thought of Thor. Especially that there were a couple of people who asked about him. _Well at least those who remained in contact with them after the Avengers broke up._

Y/N was Pepper's maid of honour, and as one of the closest families/friends the couple had, she had to give her toast.

Y/N cleared her throat as she spread the crumpled paper she was holding. She bit her lips before reading the first lines...

_Tony and I had a crazy childhood. As you may... or may not know, I was adopted by the Starks and raised by them. But I am not a Stark... I am just..._

Before Y/N continued, she paused and crumpled the paper, deciding to speak from her heart.

_I am just as stubborn as Tony. Tony, I never said thank you for accepting me into your family as your own... sister. You gave me a home when I could've just grown in child protection agencies or foster care or worse grow up in the streets. You are ages older than I am but growing up, I swear to god there were times I feel I was older._

The crowd laughed as Y/N rolled her eyes and scratched her head.

_I remember the time when we lost both Maria and Howard... you turned to me and told me that it was just you and me against the crazy world. You hugged me and told me then that I was the only one you had left and I was the only family you got... and that you could live with that. And that you couldn't be more thankful that at least, you have me. But you were wrong that moment..._

Y/N's tears sprang from her eyes as she looked at him, eyes already red from fighting his tears.

 _Be_ _cause_ _truth is, it was me who should've been more thankful. You had thousands waiting on you, caring for you, but you never ever let me feel alone. You were literally all I've got then. Every time I come home wounded and troubled and scared, you were there. You gave me your hug, a bottle of scotch, a man to call, or you gave me your undivided attention. Like real brother. It was indeed me and you against the cruel world. There were times it was really hard to put up with you especially when we had a fight on who had the coolest playlist or something. Or when you bring girls home and let them use my clothes. But tonight you are now less than the person you thought you were before. You always said you were a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist... I'd leave it to you guys which among these titles had been ripped off from him._

Another booming laugh from the crowd.

_Yes... you aren't a playboy anymore. Thank heavens. Kidding aside, despite all our differences, you and I have always been a family. And always will be. And it's so cheesy to say this, but I love you and your stubborn head, Tony._

Y/N wiped her tears before turning her head to Pepper.

_I was more than satisfied to have a brother like you. But everything became way better when Pepper came. Thank goodness!_

The crowd laughed and cheered, and Y/N saw Rhodey and Happy raising their thumbs up.

 _Pep, thank you for saving my life from this hard headed brother of mine. You made him a better person and you gave him the love a real woman should give. You love him despite his crazy antics and ginormous ego. And you gave us another family. I am forever grateful that I don't have to put up with him alone._ _You two have given me the best family I could ever hope for and more._

Y/N raised a glass of champagne as she continued.

_I know that the world had seen crazy, impossible things lately that made us scared and anxious. It made us give up on the good things life has to offer in fear of it being stripped away eventually. But I learned that in the face of true love, you don't just give up. And that's why we are here... because of love. This toast is for you, Pepper and Tony, for showing us that despite the chaos around us, we find peace...in love. Cheers!_

The guest cheered and had a toast while Y/N hugged a crying Tony and Pepper.

"We love you, Y/N." Tony hugged her tightly, kissing her forehead.

"Oh you ruined my makeup, Y/N" Pepper chuckled, wiping her tears carefully before hugging Y/N as well.

\--

After the party, Y/N was nothing short of drunk. She had a bottle of scotch in her hand as she walked barefoot towards her house. Her face was red and her eyes were bloodshot from crying.

"Where are you, Thor? WHERE ARE YOU?!" she sobbed and emptied the bottle before smashing it into the ground. She was thankful that the dimly lit streets from her house was empty or people would've thought she was crazy. She was more than grateful that the party was near her house in Long Island, too. At this state, she would've been arrested if she drove drunk.

She kept walking until she felt as if she was being followed. Despite how drunk she was, Y/N found the strength to run.

Y/N's feet were blistered as she stepped on rocky patches and shards of glass in the process. Y/N winced at every step, biting her lower lip.

She was completely intoxicated when she saw a park bench and slumped her body there to catch her breath. That was when she lost her consciousness.

It wasn't long before Y/N felt someone shaking her and patting her cheek. The hand was warm and calloused, and it almost covered her entire face.

 _I am hallucinating,_ she thought to herself. She pried her eyes open and he saw a male figure, bearded and _handsome._

"T-Thor?"

"Open your eyes... Y/N open your eyes." his voice was different.

She scrunched her forehead and rubbed her eyes but she was too far gone. The next thing she felt was she was being carried bridal style. Her face buried in his chest but it wasn't him. It wasn't Thor. She knew his body enough to recognize it in a second.

"It's okay.. I am taking you home..."

 _Steve Rogers._ Y/N recognized.

"Steve? H-how?" she managed to inquire with the last ounce of strength and consciousness.

"I'll tell you in the morning.."

Steve laid her into her bed and watched her. Y/N's feet were bleeding and her skin was covered in sweat and alcohol. Despite his hesitations, Steve was unable to leave her like that. He did not have the heart to. Steve cared for her more than he'd like to admit.

Steve took a towel drenched on cold water and started giving her a sponge bath, wiping her face and skin clean. He also very gently cleaned the blisters in her feet which made Y/N wince but was unconscious enough to fight. Y/N's dress was also soaked in scotch so naturally, Steve was left with no choice.

"Y/N. Please.. you have to change your clothes..." Steve gently coaxed her awake but to no avail.

Choosing between his manners or Y/N's state, he dimmed the lights of her room. Steve stripped her dress off, careful not to look at her while he did so. He then covered her with the sheets before pulling off a shirt from her closet and putting it on her. Y/N stirred and Steve froze a bit when she grunted but she then fell back to sleep.

Steve put away every thing before sitting beside Y/N on the bed. His eyes scanned her face -- her eyes swollen as she kept tearing on her sleep, the tip of her nose red from sniffling, and her lips trembling.

He wanted to hold her. He wanted to tell her things were going to be alright. But he wasn't the one she needed, then. Although,that did not stop him from wiping her tears away with his knuckles. He took a deep breath as her sleeping figure started to relax and just as he was about to leave the bed, she reached for him.

"Don't... leave me."

That undid him. At that moment, he did not care whether Y/N knew he was Steve or Thor. Steve lied down beside her, and pulled her closer. Steve carefully wrapped his arms around her, brushed her hair off her face, and held her against his chest. "I am not going anywhere."

\--

A throbbing headache woke Y/N up from her dreamless slumber. It was the first time in a long time.

She did not want to wake up but her stomach grumbled and the smell of freshly cooked bacon wafted through the air.

Y/N squinted her eyes from the sun as memories of the previous night dawned to her. She immediately sat on the bed and noticed her clothes had been changed and her feet bandaged.

_Steve._

Y/N was still confused but she got out of bed to find Steve on her kitchen, preparing breakfast for her.

"Hey... I hope you don't mind..."

Steve hadn't even finished his sentence when Y/N ran towards him to hug him.

Steve opened his arms and enveloped her in a warm embrace as he breathed her in. He pressed a gentle kiss on the top of her head just before she pulled away.

Y/N and Steve had a close relationship since they started working together and before the Avengers broke up. They worked together a lot times and Steve had always admired her tenacity. Despite him being Captain America, Y/N treated him as he is -- Steve. It was something he was more than thankful for. He never told Y/N anything about how he felt for her. He cared about her a lot but he knew that she and Thor were meant for each other. He was fine with that... until the previous night.

"How did you find me? It's been so long! Where were you? and how did you get here without getting captured?" Y/N's questions were endless as she wrapped her head around what happened.

"I felt the need to check on you... I just... did not know when was the right time. Given what happened between me and Tony."

Steve sighed, looking at her sullenly as he rubbed his beard.

"I am sorry you had to see me in such a state." Y/N chuckled as she helped him prepare the breakfast. He handed an ibuprofen and a glass of water to her to ease her headache.

"Yeah. That was pretty reckless."

"I know."

"Why do I feel you hadn't had proper breakfast in a while?" Steve inquired as he served her with good amount of bacon, eggs, and toast.

"I just don't... have much time." Y/N took a forkful of bacon and eggs as she stuffed her face with the toast.

"What happened to him?"

"That's the problem... I don't know what happened to him. He had never been away for this long without a single visit before. And I have terrible nightmares..."

Y/N looked at him, worry etched on her face. Steve rubbed her back softly as she shared when he was last on earth. Just like her, Steve was shocked to find that Loki was alive.

Steve spent the whole day with her, trying to alleviate some of her pain. It was just like the old times.

"Are you sure you're not staying?"

Y/N walked Steve through the backdoor as he fixed the hoodie Y/N lent him.

"I am still a fugitive..." Steve took her hand and looked into her eyes.

"Y/N?"

"Yes?"

"Promise me you'll take care of yourself." Steve squeezed her hand and Y/N nodded.

"Please take care. I am doing all I can to bring you guys back here."

"I'll see you again, Y/N."

Y/N smiled up at him, "Good luck, Captain.."

\--

"She's waiting for me..."

Thor grumbled as he planned to leave Sakaar with Bruce and the Valkyrie.

His face was scrunched in a frown as he thought about what Heimdall showed and what Hela had been doing in Asgard. Being trapped in the planet made him hate himself even more. He needed to do something to save his people.

"Who? The bitch? Hela?" Valkyrie inquired before emptying her bottle of wine.

"No." Thor paced around the area as they collected weapons and prepared to steal the Grandmaster's ship.

"Y/N..." Bruce's voice was hushed as he looked at the Valkyrie's confused expression.

"And who the _hel_ is that?"

Thor loaded his weapons and strode towards the two of them.

"She's a daughter of Freyja..." he looked straight into the Valkyrie's eyes, "You know Freyja... your goddess."

The Valkyrie was stunned. Her eyes widen and she gulped but feigned indiffirence, "So are we ready to leave?"

\--

Thor sat on his throne -- one eye lost, Asgard buried in flames, his thousand of years gone before his eyes, Mjolnir reduced to ashes.

But there were things that remained. Things that truly mattered.

His people. His friends. His brother. His responsibility as the King of Asgard. _Her._

Thor thought that even though he did not have a golden throne or a palace made of marble, for once he saved his people.

The problem was, they could not sail across the space forever.

"So, King of Asgard, where to?" Heimdall inquired as he stood beside his king's throne.

Thor solicited suggestions from his friends, but with no hesitations, he followed his heart.

A soft smile etched on his face. It was relief, that his people were safe. It was confidence, that the people would find new home. It was bliss, that he was coming _home_.

"Earth it is."

\--

Another month had passed and there were still no Thor. Not a thunder nor lightning on sight. Nothing.

Y/N grew hopeless day after day. She was sleep deprived most of the time as she kept on seeing this scary purple guy in her dreams. She saw the infinity stones Thor told her about.

_And she dreamt of Thor, lost and drifting in space, alone._

Y/N grew desperate so without haste, she decided to see the wizard who helped Thor find Odin and who told her who she really was -- Dr. Strange.

\--

Y/N straightened her back before knocking on the doctor's wooden door, but just as she raised her fist, she was teleported inside.

A man she did not recognize faced her. The man looked intently at her but he was not angry. It was as if he was scrutinizing who she was without asking. In his hands grew the sparkling yellow lights the doctor used to make the portal before.

"I... I apologise. I am looking for Dr. Stephen Strange."

The man did not speak but just as Y/N stepped back, he heard his voice.

"Wong! Don't scare the visitor. It's nice to see you again, Y/N."

Strange approached her, leading her towards the tea room.

"I'm sorry for barging. I would've called but I did not know how to contact you..." Y/N gripped the hem of her blouse as she sat.

Stephen took pity of the woman's aura. She was far different from the last time she saw her. Her eyes were still as intense but they were more sunken. She was also quite pale and her shoulders were tensed.

"You don't have to worry, Y/N. What seems to be bothering you?"

"Do you know where he is? Thor? Do you know where he went?"

Stephen shook his head, "I apologize but I don't know. There might be some ways we could find out if you just follow me."

Y/N stood followed them towards the stairs.

"Y/N, this is Wong by the way. Wong, she is a daughter of Freyja."

The man smiled at her but returned to asking money from Strange.

Y/N threaded the stairs with them when a loud crash came from behind them. Y/N's ear rang from the impact and when she turned, she saw the hole through the roof and the staircase.

From a distance she heard a person mumbling.

"Who?" Dr. Strange's brow raised as he looked at whoever was down there.

Y/N quickly checked to see who it was so she could perhaps call 911.

The blood left her cheek when she saw who the person was. Her eyes widen as words tried to escape her lips.

"B-bruce?!" Y/N gasped, hand gripping on Stephen's cloak. "We gotta help him!"

Once they got Bruce out of the staircase, Y/N immediately wrapped her arms around him.

"Oh gods. You're alive! Thank heavens!"

Bruce hugged her tight, face burying in her neck. When he pulled away, Bruce took her hand and led her to sit.

Bruce detailed what happened, at least those he can remember. Y/N's chest tightened as she felt a lump in her throat forming.

"So... he's gone?" Y/N bit her lip as she fought back the tears threatening to fall.

_You're not going to cry. Not yet._

"Y/N.. I'm sorry... I don't know what happened, then. All I know is that Thanos is coming."

She nodded, "Then you might need my brother here."

\--

Tony walked towards Y/N once he entered the portal.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was searching for answers..."

She stared blankly as Wong explained the stones to Tony and as Bruce walked him through who Thanos was.

Tony was hard and skeptical. He kept on taking things lightly, perhaps in denial that it was indeed the endgame.

The four boys kept bickering until Y/N stood in between them, a sharp glare darting towards Tony.

"I dreamt about this every single night. About that big purple monster..."

Y/N could not finish her sentence. She shook her head and walked away from them, leaning on a desk.

Bruce walked towards Tony, encouraging him to call Steve to find Vision.

"Tony, Thor's gone. It's not a matter of who you're speaking with..." Bruce face was convincing enough for Tony to open his phone.

Y/N knew he couldn't do it, so mustering her last dose of strength before breaking down, she dialed a number.

_"Hello?"_

_Silence._ Y/N could not even utter a word without the tears falling.

_"Hello? Who's this?"_

"H-hey... Steve." Y/N croaked as she looked at the other four.

_"Y/N. What happened?"_

Despite the poor reception, Steve's voice was laced with worry.

"We need you."

~~


	9. Meant to Live - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting: This chapter focuses on how Y/N and the whole team prepared to fight. These are mainly about how Y/N worked with the team in order to fight Thanos.

**_"_ ** **_Fumbling his confidence_ **

**_And wondering why the world has passed him by_ **   
**_Hoping that he's bent for more than arguments_ **   
**_And failed attempts to fly, fly_ **

**_We were meant to live for so much more_ **   
**_Have we lost ourselves?_ **   
**_Somewhere we live inside_ **   
**_Somewhere we live inside_ **

**_We were meant to live for so much more_ **   
**_Have we lost ourselves?_ **   
**_Somewhere we live inside"_ **

\--

**Y/N's POV**

_"Where are you?"_

"Vision. We need Vision."

_"Y/N. Why..."_

There was a large crash outside, and Tony and the rest looked out to see yet another alien spaceship.

"Oh shit, they are here. Steve, I have to go. Gather the team and I will call you again, okay?"

_"Y/N!"_

I hurriedly cut the call and ran outside to see New York in chaos yet again.

_These bastards!_

I went out of the Sanctum with Tony, Bruce, and the the wizards. There were two aliens out there. And I pretty sure I saw them somewhere. _Right. I saw them in my dreams. With the purple monster._

I sprinted towards the perimeters to save the people around. "Stay down! Stay down!" I called as I tucked the people away from the streets. "Don't go out there no matter what!"

When I saw them, besides the fact of how awful they looked, I knew they were awfully powerful as well. Hell, I was on fire. Anger boiled inside me as if telling me these were the same monsters who slaughtered Thor's people, the same monsters who killed Loki, and the same people who tried to kill Thor. And I prayed to fates did not succeed in killing him.

And now, they were after Doctor Strange.

_Fuck, not another stone!_

Tony attacked and the wizards started to bend their magic as well. Balls of fire surrounded both my hands and I stood with them, ready to fucking fight.

The other monster was set to attack Tony, sending him flying through the city, and then Strange sent Bruce away through the portal he created. I sprinted towards the monster and charged with fire which the monster dodged. "Fuck!"

"Y/N, the stone!" Tony screamed and I nodded, but before changing direction and running towards the rat man and Strange, I summoned and attacked with fire, mimicking how Tony usually did it through his armor.

Panting for air, my feet broke into a sprint to help Strange, only to find him flying and crashing through the brick walls before being pinned outside down by the rat face. And the rat face was floating, _upside down._

_Y/N, you need to distract him._

With that, I set a car on fire and sent it flying towards his face. "Hey, rat face!"

He sneered at me and attacked which sent me trampled on the ground with debris. I was struggling to free myself when I saw Peter, trying to save wizard who was being hauled towards the spaceship.

"NO! PETER!"

The voice which came out me was uproarious. It was shrill enough that it freed me from the debris, and loud enough for Tony to hear me. I hadn't done it before. I sucked for air and clasped my throat, eyes wide in shock and awe of what I did.

Once I was back on my feet, I ran towards Bruce and Wong, who was looking at the limb of the other monster. "Ew." I breathed, setting it ablaze.

As he always did, Tony disappeared to follow Peter and the ship.

"Bruce, we have to warn the others." he nodded at me but still very upset about not being able to unleash the green, angry monster.

I saw Tony flying up there and then, the ship was gone.

Wong went back to the Sanctum while Bruce made phone calls. "Bruce, call Rhodey, go to the new facility and I'll meet you there."

_Pepper. I need to let her know._

I went to a nearby drugstore to buy some bandages as I was still bleeding. Luckily, the lady from the drugstore was kind enough to help me mend the gash on my forehead. All the while, I kept ringing Pepper to no avail.

My daze was eating me whole before being brought back to earth with the buzzing of my phone. I lifted my phone to see who it was. _Steve. Thank goodness, I totally forgot about that._

_"Y/N, tell me where you are. I am going to pick you up."_

His voice was commanding. The Captain had suit up.

"Steve, listen. I am alright. But we need Vision. Use the quinjet, or I can come with you..."

_"Bruce told me everything. Y/N. You're not coming with us. I'll meet you in the facility."_

Steve was right. The accord marshalls would not be happy knowing I was in contact with them. But there was some thing I could do -- pacify them enough to keep their distance.

" _Y/N?"_

I cleared my throat, "Yes?"

_"Take care."_

"Aye, aye, Cap. Stay alive."

_\--_

The meeting with the Accords marshalls were killing me. They were talking nonsense and obviously focusing on the wrong things.

"Have you really paid attention to what happened in the attack?" My eyes threw a sharp glance at each of them in the hologram.

 _"_ Y/N, you are missing the point. Tony is missing and we need..."

"EXACTLY! TONY IS MISSING AND WE NEED THE TEAM! WE NEED THOSE PEOPLE TO /DEFEND/ YOUR PEOPLE!"

I burst, throwing the Accord papers in the table, "You cannot save the world, marshall. No military can. Mark my words you will regret every thing. All of you."

My veins were filled with rage that I did not realise that my hands were already starting to fire up. I flashed them one last glance as I turned to my heels, walking out of the meeting room to alert Bruce that the team was about to arrive with Vision.

Rhodey had continued with the meeting until Steve, Nat, Sam, Wanda, and Vision arrived in the facility. I had already granted them access once the Quinjet landed, _of course._

Rhodey greeted and welcomed them back home, and took pity on their appearances. "You guys totally look like crap."

"The hotels weren't exactly five star." Sam chided.

"I think you look great.." Bruce marveled from accross the room, shocking every one, especially Natasha. "Yeah. I'm back.."

I saw relief and joy flooding Natasha.

"Hi Bruce."

It was simple, her lips forming into soft smile at the unexpected reunion.

"Nat." Bruce nodded towards her before greeting the others.

I was almost in tears as I saw them. I did not want the reunion to be because of an impending war, but I was still glad to witness that.

I leaned on the glass frame of the room as Natasha walked towards me and gave me tight hug.

"Nat, it's really great to see you."

"You too, Y/N."

Steve gave me a knowing smile, no words spoken yet, but he knew me enough to identify how was I.

"Let's get you guys settled. Ignore the marshalls, I'd kick them out myself if they ever try."

I let them rest for a while in one of the rooms as I prepared some food for them.

_They might be heroes but they needed sustenance as well._

Little did I know, I was being watched.

"Glad to see you still got that maternal instinct after all these years."

I smiled, turning around with the bowl of salad in my hand.

"Well, better this way than a drunkard on the streets, yea?"

Steve walked towards me taking the salad bowl and placing it on the counter. "I had hoped to see you in a better state, to be honest." he looked down at me with the same expression he gave the last time he saw me.

"Well, yea. I lost Thor... i don't know where he is... or if he's still alive... then now, Tony's missing.. I just..." I choked out a sob as my shoulders tensed before finally breaking down.

Steve pulled me into him and held me. _Tight._ He had never held me like this before. Or maybe, I just really needed someone to be there for me during that trying time.

\--

I sat across the wooden table where the team had assembled, discussing the attack in Scotland to get Vision's stone. All of us were worried. These monsters knew where to find us and wouldn't stop until they get the mind stone.

Vision suggested destroying the stone. Immediately, I noticed the pain in Wanda's eyes. I knew that look from when she lost Pietro. It would kill her to sacrifice another life.

As I watched them, I realized that Vision and Wanda are much like me and Thor. Our relationships are unusual and complicated, no one thing is ever guaranteed. Yet, we keep holding on, for love, for _possibilities_.

"We don't trade lives, Vision." Steve muttered, knowing full well that they needed the stone destroyed yet hoping for a better way without killing him.

However, Vision questioned the captain on how this would be different from how he laid down his life before.

I got on my feet, walking towards them. "Bruce is right, Vision. You might have a choice. A choice Thor or Tony did not have."

I took a deep breath and ran my fingers through my hair, standing beside Steve.

"Vision, the others did not have the choice. Their only choice was to fight and sacrifice their lives. We don't know where the hell they are, but you are here. And we can find other ways to destroy the stone without sacrificing yet another life.."

Steve placed a hand on the small of my back to support my frame as I nearly trembled from anguish as I think about Tony and Thor. Nat squeezed my hand to reassure me that there was still hope.

Bruce agreed with me, convincing Vision that there was more to him than just the stone. That maybe, it can be removed. But Bruce couldn't do it himself. We needed help.

Rhodey sighed, "Then you guys have to find something, somewhere fast..."

Steve shifted beside me and I looked up at him, meeting his gaze and nodding.

"I know somewhere.."

I took my mobile device out and dialled T'Challa, the King of Wakanda. Then, I handed the phone over to Steve, "Captain, we need you on this."

I ordered the team to get the items they needed and to eat before we left to get as much nourishment as we could get. "Rest. Eat up. It's going to be a long ride ahead."

\--

Meanwhile, I went to Tony's lab. It was empty without his constant tinkering. Like I told Thor before, I needed something that may help me channel my abilities better. As expected, Tony was able to help me out with it. Although, he did agree with Thor that my ability is fluid and ever moving yet controllable. What he made me instead was something to enhance it. Stark Industries were mainly about weapon and Tony damn well knew what would work best with fire -- explosives.

Tony hooked me up with a gun which will release a tiny, bullet-type explosive device which can blow up a whole building once I ignite it. It was meant to be used when all else fails, he told me.

He knew I can fight, but mainly for self-defence. I attended training with the army before, but I was nowhere near Nat so he needed to make sure I would not be killed easily. And, he _wanted_ me to suit up.

I kept brushing off the idea, thinking I was never a hero and will never be. As I surveyed around his lab to collect my weapons, I saw a glass case which hung a full-body suit -- my name plastered on it. I was surprised to find that Tony did find time to make the suit for me.

I opened the cage and ran my hand over the armour, scrutinizing every inch of it. The suit was a combination of the Iron Spider armour and Natasha's old black suit. It was made with gold breastplate bodice strong enough to withstand a bullet or a stab. In one leg was a holster which carried the special gun Tony created and a couple stash of the explosives. In the other was a little strap which concealed a retractable dagger, a weapon I could use for either close contact or a distant attack. 

After a long debate with myself, I decided to suit up. It was perfect. It felt right on my skin, like I was really meant to wear it. I straightened and fastened the holsters properly and saw a note tucked into one of the pockets.

_Y/N,_

_You'll use this once the time came when you'd need to suit up. I dread to think it will come, but I bet on your stubborn ass you'll fight so this will help you out, hopefully._

_Yes. Point Break told me about your weak points, so thank us later. Teach yourself how to fly, you'll live longer._

_With love,_   
_Iron Brother_

_P.S. Yes. It is fireproof. Like you. and bulletproof... unlike you._

I chuckled, tearing up at the note he left. Tony's fears never left him after all this time. I was overwhelmed that to this day, he always thought of protecting me in his silly ways.

As I looked at the reflection of myself in the mirror, a soft glow of the amber on my necklace caught my eyes. It was different this time. Leaning closer towards the mirror, I noticed that it changed colours. I carefully lifted the pendant on my palms to see it closer. The lower middle portion of the teardrop glowed blue while it faded to orange at the top, as if mimicking the glow a real _f_ _lame_.

" _The_ _white or_ _blue fire is the hottest and most destructive type of fire. It would be amazing if you'd learn how to unleash that."_ Tony's voice played in my head as I fiddled with the pendant.

I wondered whether I can actually do it, if I am powerful enough to do so. I raised my palm in front of the mirror and concentrated in summoning a small fire. I was able to easily summon simple flames around my hands. I watched the soft glow of fire but it wasn't what I wanted.

"Again, Y/N. Focus."

I took a deep breath and held it as I followed the rush of energy tingling from my veins to the tips of my fingers. A soft puff of air left my mouth as the soft flickers of red and amber dancing around my hands blazed into blue flames. For a moment, my lips fell agape as I marveled into its beauty. The glow was ethereal yet intense.

_I did it. I actually did it._

\-----

Leaning on the frame of the lab door, Steve watched her. His eyes followed her every graceful movement, every flick of her wrist, and every bit of expression plastered on her face. His eyes exuded humble admiration towards Y/N. He was in awe far beyond just her ability, he was in complete awe of her strong will and courage. He was in awe of her heart.

Steve's eyes widened once he saw Y/N summon the blue fire. He clearly noticed the look on her face from the mirror as she watched the blue flame illuminate. His head tilted to the side and closed his eyes, and tried to suppress what he felt inside. 

"Don't you think it's too early to set the place on fire?"

Y/N chuckled once she realized she was not alone.

"Nothing's ever too early." Y/N put away the fire as Steve slowly walked towards her.

"I see you decided to suit up?"

"I see I have no choice." Y/N shrugged and Steve swore he felt the pang of her words. 

"You look pretty lethal in that get-up, Y/N. But you don't have to fight."

Y/N shook her head, forcing a playful smirk. "Oh, come on, Steve. I already dressed up. Let's not waste it."

Y/N masked her nerves by loading her guns and fixing her holsters as she set her eyes on Tony's photo which was framed on the wall.

"Let's go, Captain." she called, fastening her utility belt before walking towards the door.

"Y/N, wait." Steve took two strides towards her, reaching out and pulling her back by her arm. Y/N shifted her shoulders and tilted her head enough to look at his worried expression. She turned her glance towards her arm and then back to his eyes.

"What is it?"

"Stay close to me..."

Y/N scoffed and gently pulled away from his steady grip, "Hey, old man. I am not a child anymore." she let out a small laugh as she playfully shove him by the chest.

"Just promise me." Steve clenched his jaw, staring down to her sharply, begging for her to listen just this once. Y/N understood it, then.

"Alright, I promise."

\------

**Y/N's POV**

We arrived in Wakanda several hours later. T'Challa had welcomed us into his perfect paradise. Everything was serene, like the calm before the storm. 

He led us to the laboratory where we met his sister, who then worked on taking the stone off Vision. She examined the structure of the stone and how it was attached to Vision. That alone was enough to give me migraine. 

What awakened my fire was the warning that something was incoming. Sam and Rhodey alerted us of the intruders.

I looked at both Steve and Natasha, brows furrowed and lips pursed, "Time to go to work."

Steve and Nat nodded at me and then instructed Vision and Wanda to destroy the stone once it was removed. 

As we left the building to face the incoming attack, one Wakandan soldier handed me a spear made of vibranium, and gave Steve a pair of shields. He instructed me that it could be used as a gun which sounded real nice to me.

"Thank you."

_And with that, I prepared myself for the last day of my life._


	10. Hero - Heroine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting: This scene is set in during the battle of Wakanda. In this chapter, we journey with Y/N as she faces the first and maybe the last war of her life. 
> 
> Note: There are constant changes in POVs and some alterations in the scenes.

**_"It's too late baby, there's no turning around  
I've got my hands in my pocket and my head in a cloud  
This is how I do when I think about you  
I never thought that you could break me apart  
I keep a sinister smile and a hole of my heart  
You want to get inside, then you can to get in line  
But not this time  
  
_ ** **_'Cause you caught me off guard  
Now I'm running and screaming_ ** **_  
I feel like a hero  
And you're my heroine_ ** **_  
I won't try to philosophize  
I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes  
This is how I feel, and its so, so real  
I got a closet filled up to the brim  
With the ghosts of my past and the skeletons  
And I don't know why you'd even try  
But I won't lie_ ** **_  
Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?  
_ ** **_And I feel a weakness coming on  
Never felt so good to be so wrong  
Had my heart on lock down  
And then you turned me around  
I'm feeling like a new born child  
Every time I get a chance to see you smile  
It's not complicated, I was so jaded"_ **

~~

**Y/N's POV**

** WAKANDA **

As I promised Steve, I never left his sight. The captain was clearly worried but he knew there weren't any other choice but to fight -- fight to bide our time, fight to protect Vision, and fight to destroy the mind stone before Thanos or his children got their hands on it. 

The field was filled with the armies from different tribes who chose to stand with T'Challa. My heart broke at the sight of these people whose only choice was to defend Wakanda and its people no matter what. 

I admired T'Challa and his general, Okoye, who led the armed forces and intel of the Wakanda. They were fearless as they stood and chose to face this battle with us, accepting that it could be the end of their tribe, worst comes to worst. 

I gripped the spear the soldier handed me as I watched several Dropships surround the borders of Wakanda. Steve must've felt me tensed at the sight of what we were about to face as he turned to me and draped an arm around my shoulders as we walked towards the front line. 

"You should've stayed home, Y/N." Steve mumbled under his breath. I knew it wasn't doubt, it was mainly worry. 

I let out a heavy sigh, raising an eyebrow towards him. "Yeah? And let you fend for yourself?"

"It's not what I meant."

"You don't have to protect me, Steven. I can protect myself just fine. I want to protect these people as well."

My eyes scanned around the area, memorizing as much as I can, remembering the faces of the warriors in case, just in case, we get buried to the ground. I wasn't powerful and skilled enough to combat Thanos and his children, but I was equipped and gifted enough to at least protect and save as much soldiers as I can so they can come home to their families. As for me, my family was right here, standing and fighting with me on this battle.

I gave a nod to each pair of eye I met as I walked with the armed forces. I saw the same thing from all of them -- bravery and strength. They were fearless. I immediately knew that it was because they have something to fight for. 

As the situation got worse, more warriors from other tribes started to join us. T'Challa welcomed each of them, thanking the leader for choosing to fight, too.

I stood beside Steve as we watched two children of Thanos approaching the barrier. I was shocked to see one of the monsters I met in New York. I was pretty damn sure we burned his arm off already. The other one was woman with an awful horn and birthmark across her forehead and eyes. I recognized her from the attack in Scotland. The rat face was missing, and so was the other alien who Nat told she severed with their own weapon.

"We're gonna go ahead and do a meet and greet with the bitch." Natasha flatly uttered, throwing at the sharp glance towards the daughter of Thanos. The bitch was trying to see what the barrier was made of - a clear look of utter disappointment present on her face.

"Be careful." I looked at both Nat and Steve, and then turned to look at the king of Wakanda. 

Before walking towards the children of Thanos, Steve led me to stand behind Bucky who was in the front line of the troops. 

"Told you should've stayed home." He stepped closer towards me and gave me a commanding look.

"You _guys_ are my home." I looked him in the eyes and stepped closer, pushing him aside to stand in the front line as well.

Natasha, Steve, and T'Challa walked towards the barrier and in a short while later, walked back in towards the front line.

"Did they surrender?" Bucky asked with a straight face.

Steve stood beside me on the front line and fixed his eyes on the barrier. "Not exactly." 

A loud rumble filled the place as the Dropships started opening to reveal a massive army of whatever creature. _Were they_ _dogs?_ I did not know what they were, all I knew was they were feral. 

The ground shook as T'Challa led them with the tribal chant -- a final to call to fight. Adrenaline coursed through me as I felt the enemies closing in. The child of Thanos dropped her signal and the army from the Dropships started running towards the barrier. _Brainless creatures._

"What... the... hell?" I heard Bucky swore beside as he gripped his gun.

"Looks like we pissed her off." Nat turned her head towards us, giving a signal that it was time to fight.

The creatures were frying themselves one by one as they tried to destroy the barrier. It was a sacrifice from their side. But us, we did not have much blood to spare. The child of Thanos threw us a death glare, knowing they had the ace this time because of their alien army.

The Wakandan army engaged their defences and took the fighting stance as T'Challa signaled to charge. The army started shooting the creatures and not long after did the rest of team such as Bruce, Bucky, Sam, and Rhodey start to hold them off, too. 

Rhodey dropped bombs to the creatures as Bruce informed us that the creatures were circling the perimeters, it would not be good as nothing was between them and Vision. 

"Then we better keep them in front of us." Steve finally ordered. 

"How do we do that?" Okoye asked, turning to T'Challa, both courage and fear evident in her eyes. 

"We open the barrier." I took a deep breath as T'Challa gave his command to open the barrier on his signal.  
  
"This will be the end of Wakanda." M'Baku, the leader of the Jabari tribe, remarked. 

Okoye regained her spirit, determined to fight for Wakanda til her last breath. 

_"Then it will be the noblest ending in history."_

Beside me, Steve opened his shield and gave me one final nod. 

"Don't die."

I only gave him a soft smile, coaxing the fire within me to unleash itself.

"WAKANDA FOREVER!"

_And with that, we sprinted towards the creatures._

~~

** NIDAVELLIR **

Thor was able to persuade Eitri to forge him the Stormbreaker. The only problem was, the mechanisms of the iris used to melt the metal was faulty. Thor suggested holding the Iris open just so Eitri can melt metal enough to mold it.

"That's suicide." The dwarf warned him but the god of thunder was persistent.

"So is facing Thanos without that ax." Thor grumbled and went straight to the heavy metal rods of the mechanisms and hauled it open. The light and heat of the star peeked through him, heating the forge. 

Thor screamed in agonizing pain, his skin blistered and immediately burned from the intensity of the heat. Thor endured for a couple of minutes until his body tumbled towards space, closing the iris. Eitri was able to melt the metal and quickly poured it into the mold, forging the ax. 

Rocket was quick to rescue Thor however, Thor crashed on a metal barrier, causing him to drop to the ground.

"Thor!" Rocket ran towards him to wake him up but to no avail. "I think he's dying."

"He needs the ax!" Eitri scrambled in getting the metal out of the mold as he searched for the handle. "Tree, find the handle!"

Without second thoughts, Groot took it upon himself to assemble the ax, extending his arms to create a makeshift handle for the metals.

_Bolts of lightning flickered on Thor's hands and the Stormbreaker as it started to rise from the ground._

~~

_I could not breathe. I really should've paid attention to cardio._

Everything was a _motherfucking_ blur. One second we were just on the front line and the next one we were on our feet, attacking the vicious enemies just as the barriers opened. 

"How do you even use a fucking spear?!" I yelled at Nat as we sprinted towards the barrier to contain the enemies. I was not as good in fighting regular human army, what more an army of ginormous monster dogs?

I kept running and charging, then running and charging. We were outnumbered. I finally identified that the spear wasn't helping me as much. Remembering by training sessions with Thor, I realized what to do. 

I got back on feet as I raised the spear, charging it up with fire before throwing it to the cluster of creatures entering the barrier, setting them on fire as the spear exploded. 

I took one gun out of my holsters and started shooting the monsters. _Man, I was not as good as them but I was a trained shooter._ However, I noticed how quickly I ran out of ammo as I changed from one magazine to another which set me off big time. 

One monster dog tackled me to the ground and tried to eat my face out just before I was able to summon fire and throw it into its face.

 _Guns could not save me this time. Let's try the explosives, shall we?_ I thought to myself as finally unleashed the fire inside me. I was angry and tired and pumped up to kill these fucking aliens. 

I pulled the special gun out and loaded it with the stash of the explosives Tony created for me. 

_"Find the source and take it down."_ Thor's voice rang in my head as I ran towards the direction of the Dropships, shooting it with one of the explosives, and firing up the damn bullet as more creatures came out. 

"Might as well cover your ears, guys!" I warned the team as one of the Dropships exploded into ashes. I bet the child of Thanos saw what I did as more creatures started to dart towards me.

_I finally accepted my fate. Nat was correct. Because just as I saw our armies getting taken over, I did not care what else have I to lose._

Heaving, I ran towards a space with less soldiers. Tendrils of fire covered me as I willed the ground where I stood to lift me high enough to see the perimeters better. With one anguished scream, I summoned a huge ball of blue fire and threw it to the creatures down below, the impact strong enough to form fissures on the ground. 

I hopped from where I was standing and landed on my feet, using the fire around me as a leverage, just like how Tony usually did to fly. Regaining just enough energy, I surveyed the battlefield to find advantage.

"Great job, Y/N. That was freaking scary!" Nat called out as I heard her grunt while she fought. 

"I can only do so much, guys. It drains me."

"Amazing, but save your energy, Y/N. There's more incoming!" Bruce warned, pointing me to the cluster of monsters coming in.

Kneeling near the fissures, I tried the impossible. I clasped my pendant and pulled it off me, a blaze of blue fire covered my fist as I punched the ground, causing the fissures to split open completely as the ground shook. 

"Thank you, Freyja!" I cried out as I crawled away from the edge. The creatures started running towards me as majority of them fell into the fissure, allowing me to bide just enough time to blast them on fire. It obviously was not enough but it helped the soldiers.

I could not summon much blue fire, but I still had one option. I scrambled to my feet as I ran towards my friends who obviously needed help but I was held of by a creature from behind my back. I fell flat of my face and I saw blood oozing from my forehead as the creature hauled me by my feet. _Thank goodness for the suit. If it wasn't for it I was pretty sure my whole leg would be torn off._

I lifted my upper torso by my forearm and twisted myself to be on my back as I retracted my weapon from the strap and stabbed the creature with the flaming dagger repeatedly. 

"There's too many of them! AAAHHH!!" Bruce fell and I struggled to kick the creature off me. I managed to summon a fire and hit some of the creatures off but their waves were endless.

All hope was lost until a huge blast came from above, blinding us until rolls of thunder and flashes of lighting surrounded the sky. A weapon akin to Mjolnir started darting around, killing off the creatures. 

I got up on my feet, fire at hand as I burned the creature who just attacked me. My eyes fixed on the weapon, following its route.

My mouth went agape and tears streamed down my face when the Bifrost revealed him, very much alive and stronger than ever.

_"Thor."_

_~~_

_**Thor's POV** _

_I am eternally grateful for Eitri._

He was right. The Stormbreaker can summon the power of the Bifrost, which led Rocket, Groot, and myself to where the Avengers were. 

Thanos' army were indeed here and there was nothing but anger inside me, firing up the power coursing through my veins. I threw Stormbreaker as I always did with Mjolnir, freeing up my friends from the claws of the Outriders. I sprinted towards the enemy, summoning the full power of lightning and the Stormbreaker to ward off as much Outriders as I can. 

"BRING ME THANOS!"

I saw my dear friends' reactions -- all shocked and relieved that I was back.

Then I saw her. _Y/N. My Y/N._ Ever so powerful in her element as embers of fire surrounded her. She caught me off-guard, had me running and screaming towards her, fending off the attackers. Y/N sprinted and met me halfway as she set the Outriders ablaze like the powerful queen that she is. 

I immediately dropped Stormbreaker as Y/N threw herself right at me. I lifted her off her feet, wrapping my arms tightly around her body as I buried my face into her neck, indulging in her familiar warmth, my fingers weaving through her hair.

"Oh, Thor, my love! I thought you were... gone." she cried as she engulfed me in her embrace, nuzzling against my skin as she peppered me with kisses.

Mustering up the courage to let her go, I set her back on her feet, cupped her face, and wiped the tears from cheeks, staring right into her eyes.

"I always told you I'd come back _home_. I love you."

And with that, I clasped the back of her head claimed her lips with mine in an ardent kiss. Y/N's lips molded against mine in a fervent exchange as she whispered against the kiss, "I love you, Thor." 

Y/N pulled away from me as the situation around us worsened, her arms still around my neck as my forehead pressed against hers. 

"I hate to break this, god of Thunder, but we still have a battle to face."

I nodded at her pressing another chaste kiss on her lips, "Then let's win this, my love."

Y/N flashed me a smile that awakened all the hope in me. "We will. We'll talk about the hair cut later."

Y/N moved behind me, our back against each other as we face the Outriders around us. I craned my neck to see her in full glory, flinging tendrils and hurling fireballs towards the army.

_At that moment, I felt alive. I felt like a hero and she was my heroine._

~~

_Thor is back._

That alone was enough to fire me up for another bout. Feeling his arms around me and lips against mine after so long was heaven. And _heaven_ was an understatement.

It wasn't our time to celebrate so I painfully pulled away from our moment to face the building cluster of armies around us. 

I summoned fire and hurled fireballs to fend them off.

"Y/N!" Thor called before pulling me off my feet by my waist with single arm as he set us off ground, causing me to yelp. _I remembered this move from one of our training session. He was planning something._

He held me like rag doll on his side, my body facing outward as I gripped his arm with one hand. 

"Just so you know, baby, I can fly now!" I shrieked as he took us higher, attacking the enemies around us. 

My eyes darted towards the incoming threshers the army of Thanos set out. Pulling out the explosives, I shot the nearest one and ignited the bullet, making it explode just before it wreaked havoc on the field. Once I saw Wanda on the field, I focused on Thor.

"I need you on this, Y/N. On my signal!"

I nodded and held my breath as Thor flew us higher towards the Dropships, his grip around me tightening.

"You ready?" Thor queried and I nodded, summoning as much fire as I could muster. 

"NOW!"

Thor flew us closer to the Dropships as bolts of lightning left him and the Stormbreaker while I discharged the wildest avalanche of flames I could muster. We burned and destroyed the Dropships one by one to weaken their forces even more. 

Thor and I went back to the ground, and returned in another bout with the army.

That was when I felt my shivers down my spine. I stopped in my tracks as the vision all too familiar dawned in me. 

I held Thor's hand tightly as things stopped for a minute. 

_"He's here."_

_~~_

One by one, the team tried to hold off Thanos from getting Vision's stone. Every one was defeated except one, Wanda. 

Vision had willingly sacrificed himself and begged Wanda to destroy the stone. Wanda unleashed her power to destroy the stone painstakingly while holding Thanos off.

She was successful in doing so and every body felt the impact. 

Y/N saw things reversed which set her back to when she was holding Thor's hand. 

"The time stone..." she tugged at his arms, looking up at him. 

"You can do it. It has to be you."

Just as they heard the scream of Thanos, Thor and Y/N knew what to do.

Thor threw the ax at Thanos as Y/N landed behind his back, setting him on fire as much as she could.

Y/N struggled to keep her energy as air left her lungs but she did not let Thor take on him alone. Thanos was too powerful and it took all her energy to be able to penetrate his thick armor and skin.

"You should've gone... for the head."

Y/N's eyes widened when she saw Thor's expression as she fell on her knees, seeing Thanos lifting his hand for a snap. 

"NO!" Y/N gasped as she used her last bit of strength to run towards Thanos, but it was too late. Thor screamed and a massive blow sent Y/N hurling across the trees from the impact of the snap.   
  
Once the ringing on her ears stopped and the cloud of white left her vision, she walked towards Thor who was questioning Thanos on what he did before he disappeared like bubbles, the Stormbreaker on his chest falling to the ground with a loud thud.

Steve threw Thor a sharp glance as he walked towards him, "Where did he go?" he turned his body and looked around. "Thor? Where did he go?!"

Thor was heaving, dumbfounded and unable to speak at what happened. Beside him, Y/N clambered on the ground, her trembling hand touching the blood-stained Stormbreaker. 

"S-steve..." Bucky stammered from behind Steve and in a blink, he turned into ash right before their eyes. 

Thor turned towards Y/N hauling her up and holding her beside him as the events unfolded, in fear that she, too, might disappear.

T'Challa, Sam, Groot, Wanda -- all faded into thin air just like half the universe.

"What the hell is this? What happened?!" Rhodey asked as the remaining defenders tried to fathom what happened.

Y/N swallowed her tears enough to speak, "He did it..."

_"Oh God..."_

~~


	11. Stop Crying Your Heart Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting: Post - snap | This chapter talks about how the remaining Avengers deal with what happened. This deals with their attempt to find and kill Thanos.

_**"Hold up, hold on** _   
_**Don't be scared** _   
_**You'll never change what's been and gone** _

_**May your smile** _   
_**Shine on** _   
_**Don't be scared** _   
_**Your destiny may keep you warm** _

_**Get up, come on** _   
_**Why're you scared?** _   
_**You'll never change** _   
_**What's been and gone** _

_**'Cause all of the stars** _   
_**Are fading away** _   
_**Just try not to worry** _   
_**You'll see them some day** _   
_**Take what you need** _   
_**And be on your way** _   
_**And stop crying your heart out** _

_**We're all of us stars** _   
_**We're fading away** _   
_**Just try not to worry** _   
_**You'll see us some day** _   
_**Just take what you need** _   
_**And be on your way** _   
_**And stop crying your heart out"**_

_**~~~** _

**Y/N's POV**

The jet ride home was eerily quiet between us all, and only the revving of the engines could be heard. No one dared to break the silence. _No one could._

No amount of physical pain can ever surpass the emotional ache we felt that moment. We were miserable at best. The loss we had was tremendous and we did not even know _how_ to mourn.

_Was that it? Where did they go? Where did Thanos go? Who remained?_

Despite the deafening silence, I knew all of us were thinking maybe, just maybe, all could be _undone_.

Thor sat beside me on the jet, both hands gripping mine so tight I already felt pins and needles on tips of my fingers. He hadn't said a word since we left Wakanda, not even to me.

But I did not need to hear it. His blank stare, straight face, and tensed muscles were already telltale signs that he was not okay, and that he won't be for a long time.

He was frustrated. He thought he failed. And this had always been his fear -- not being able to save the people.

And I understood him. Thor lost his father and his Mjolnir in just one day. He lost Asgard, his home for a thousand of years. He lost half of his people. He watched his bestfriend and his brother get murdered right before his eyes. And now, we the lost the fight. _Bigtime. He was devastated._

I placed a hand on his arm in a gentle caress, a silent reminder that he was not alone. _And that I am with him no matter what._

_\--_

We arrived in the compound at dusk and it was empty except for one person -- Pepper.

"Y/N. Oh, Y/N." Her eyes brimmed with tears as she ran towards me.

"I am sorry... I am sorry, Pepper." I wrapped my arms around her, rubbing her back gently.

"Do you know where he is?"

I pursed my trembling lips and looked into her eyes, shaking my head softly.

Despite how devastating it was to tell Pepper what happened, I needed to do it. We only got each other that time, both hopeful that Tony would return.

I let her stay in Tony's room in the compound as I walked towards my room and office which was on a separate area, since I wasn't technically an Avenger before.

The area I walked in would normally be blooming with flowers and freshly mowed grass, but since the snap, everything seemed to be _lifeless_.

_And we weren't an exception._

I entered my room to see Thor standing by the window, head turned down to his feet as his fists clenched beside him in defeat. His cape littered on the floor and Stormbreaker leaning on the wall by our beside.

I could not see his face from I stood but I knew just how pained his expression was. Angry rolls of thunder and torrents of rain filled the compound as he masked his emotions. The strong facade he struggled to maintain was then completely swallowed by his vulnerability.

I slowly walked towards him, as if testing the waters to see whether he needed me or whether he wanted to be alone.

"Thor?" I softly placed a hand on his back as I stood beside him.

Thor lifted his head and shifted to look at me. His lone blue eye showed me his sorrow which shattered me to the bones. He could not maintain his resolute much longer.

Slowly, I pulled him in, enclosing him in a warm embrace and Thor held me tight in an instant, finally setting his emotions free. He buried his face in the nook of my neck, his whole body trembling from the agony.

I closed my eyes and held him even closer as he choked out his sobs. My floodgates had been opened and I wasn't able to hold back my tears.

"I failed. I am a failure." he grimaced, tugging my shirt as the pain engulfed him.

"Don't you ever say that." I breathed against his tensed shoulders as I tightened my arms around him. I reached one hand towards the back of his head, running my fingers through his now short locks.

Thor cried for a while and the thunder outside subsided as he eased his pain slowly. Wiping my tears away, I gently craned my head and traced kisses on his jawline as I slowly tilted his face so I could meet his eyes. "Thor... look at me."

"Y/N..." Thor croaked.

"We all lost.. all of us. That doesn't make you any less of who you are."

"How do we live through this?"

Thor scrunched his brows as he took my hand in his. My chin quivered, lifting his hand towards me and nuzzling my cheek on his palms as I met his gaze.

_"Together."_

_\--_

I could not sleep despite the comforting rain outside. The horrors of what happened kept playing back to me like a scratched vinyl and the only thing that kept me sane was his steady breathing.

I stayed in bed wide awake as the god of thunder finally dozed off after being so sleep deprived for so long. His body relaxed a bit as I held his massive sleeping frame and cradled him. His head rested on my chest as he draped his arm around me protectively. I watched him sleep, like he always did to me before. _The tables had turned_.

Whenever he stirred and flinched from his slumber, I ever so gently traced his brows and the bridge of his nose with my finger until his nose wrinkled and a soft purr left his lips while he snuggled closer to me. I whispered soft, reassuring words to let him know I was with him. _A_ _nd that I always will be with him._

I made the most out of the quiet, peaceful moments we had, tucking it into the corners of my mind as a lifeboat, saving it for when I drown from the hurricane inside of me.

\--

It wasn't until a week since the snap was I able to sleep. Looking after the people left had been my absolute goal since then. Nobody cared enough to do daily routines such as cook, take the trash out, or even eat or take a bath. Naturally, I took on that role. That role among all the other things I needed to get done. I realized it made me sleep at night better. And by _it_ , I meant exhaustion.

I did not complain when every morning I got to wake up on a god's soft, lingering kisses and _I love you's._ It gave me just as much energy to face the day and to at least survive.

The snap changed all of us. Thor's light and warm personality had since became stern, raging, sullen. Steve who hated cursing had learned to use it as outlet of his emotions. Bruce had become even more fearful everyday, guilty that he wasn't much of a help during the war. And Nat, m _y_ _dear Nat,_ the strongest girl I have ever met had learned that it was alright to be weak. The other friends we had left, still very much broken.

_And that left me. I only had one job -- be there for them. And I was._

_\--_

It had been around three weeks since snap and I was in my dark office, the only source of light was the faint glow of my screen and the only music was clicking of the laptop keys. I was still trying to find him... Tony. My heart was breaking because I did not know how to even find him, or worse, I did not know whether he still exists.

I banged my head on the glass table for the 27th time that night just so I could stay awake. It wasn't long before my chair turned and an upset child placed his hand on my forehead.

"Don't do that, my love. You'd hurt yourself."

I sighed and only smiled up at him before he braced himself from the table as he leaned in to kiss me. His lips tasted the same, still sweet. Only much sweeter this time. _Literally._

"Hhmm. Let me guess. Pop-tarts?" I smirked against his lips as I playfully pulled away and licked mine, tasting the sugar he left from the kiss.

"Yes. The whole box." He chuckled and I opened my eyes to look at his face. His laugh became so rare since the snap that even his smile lines were enough to soothe me.

"Leave some for me next time." I pouted which made him kiss my frown away.

I wrapped my arms around him as we exchanged soft kisses and we suddenly felt the place shake from a huge impact, as if something had landed.

Thor and I quickly went out to see what it was. A girl I did not recognize was carrying a spaceship, landing it safely in the compound.

Steve, Pepper, and the others were already there to see who was inside until the door opened.

Thor had an arm wrapped around my middle as the door opened and I immediately cried in relief once I saw Tony. Steve was quick to his feet as he sprinted towards Tony to help him. I ran towards him just as Pepper did and gave him a hug which he returned.

"It's okay..." Tony's voice trembled as he forced himself to stand despite being so obviously drained.

I pulled away enough to alert Rhodey who was as relieved as we were.

I turned to the girl who rescued Tony and the other girl from the jet, a friend of Rocket.

"Thank you." I mouthed before helping to get Tony inside the facility.

They were in the meeting room, explaining everything to Tony and the new girl. She seemed upset about what happened but she was headstrong, and a bit arrogant, too, which the team did not much appreciate.

Tony was not in good state and I felt bad that Steve had brought up Thanos, asking Tony for any ideas. But I could not blame him. He was desperate to undo the damage.

Tony noticed Thor, though, and asked what was wrong with him. He was in an isolated area, his hard stare plastered on the wall, obviously triggered by the conversation.

"Well, he's upset. he thinks he failed. Which he did but there were a lot of things going on..." Rocked mused, shaking his head, and that made me snap.

"Are you guys going to forever blame him for what happened? That he wasn't able to kill him? Forever shove it to his face that the snap happened because he fucking failed?!" My voice was raw yet hushed with anguish as I stared at all of them in the eyes.

"That's not what I..." Rocket uttered.

"No. That's obviously what you meant." I turned to my heels as I went to prepare Tony's bedroom, helping out Bruce and Pepper in preparing the needed medication.

Not long then did Tony collapsed in the middle of his argument with Steve. We were able to sedate him as the team continued to discuss where they can find Thanos.

After a few more discussion with Carol, the new girl, Thor agreed with her which made the team decide to finally find Thanos and use the stone to bring back what was lost.

\--

I was arranging Tony's medicine when I heard a soft knock on the lab's door. Placing the medicine tray on the bedside careful not to wake Tony or Pepper, I looked behind to see who it was.

"May I have a minute?"

Steve. I never turned him down despite how heavy I felt sometimes. We walked towards the field of the compound as he handed me the coffee he bought which I took nonchalantly.

"I am sorry, Y/N." Finally breaking the silence, he let out a soft sigh.

"For what?"

"Thor..." Steve mumbled softly, looking at me.

"Look, Steve. I know all of you are upset. We all are devastated. But Thor? He lost every thing. And he blames himself every single day for what happened. I just couldn't take it anymore that most you really thinks he failed us. He's miserable already." I took a swig of the coffee, "We can at least be a bit more humane about it."

Steve shook his head, "We never blamed him, Y/N."

"Yeah? It feels like you do."

I gave him a last glance of defeat before walking back inside the compound.

\--

The team was preparing for take off. I watched them assemble in Rocket's ship from the balcony, clutching the cold metal of the railing tightly as fought my nerves. Just as I was about to break, an arm wrapped around me from behind and I instantly leaned my head back and rested it on his chest.

"Hey..."

Thor pressed a kiss on the top of my head as his arms tightened around me. "Thank you, my lady."

I shifted and turned around to look at him, my arms around his neck, a brow raised in confusion.

"For what?"

"For everything. For not tiring. For not giving up on all of us... especially me. And for buying me Pop-tarts." Thor pressed soft kisses on my forehead, my closed eyes, nose, and lips,which pulled up in a soft smile at his statement as I played with his hair.

"That's all I can do. I am sorry I cannot come with you. I can't leave Tony." I sighed softly and rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. "Please take care out there and come back to me."

Thor nodded and twirled his fingers through my hair to calm me down.

_"Of course I will."_

\--

It had been a couple of days since the team set out to find Thanos. Tony chose to go home. He said he couldn't be in the facility longer, and that it was too much to bear.

I agreed with him and made arrangement for a new place, somewhere he could start over with Pepper.

I was able to find a place not too far from where the facility was. It was lakeside cabin with a nice clearing and front porch. It was totally different from Tony's previous houses filled with AIs and advanced technology. It was _serene_.

I helped Pepper and Tony settle in their new home, and as we finished setting up the remaining areas, I left them inside the cabin so they can have their much needed time alone.

I went outside barefoot, feeling the cold ground as I walked towards the clearing by the lake. I watched as the wind made the trees dance and indulged in the symphony of the rustling leaves. I breathed in the scent of fresh air and pine needles, and the scent of hope and possibilities.

I awoke from my daydream when I heard the crunching of leaves from every foot step. I turned to see Tony, walking towards me with two glasses of scotch at hand.

I took one from him just as he spread his arms, taking me in for a quick hug.

He clinked our glasses before taking a sip and taking a deep breath.

"It's home, Y/N."

"Yeah?" I looked at him, smiling at the relieved expression on his face.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?" I asked, tilting my head.

"This. All of what you're doing... for all of us."

I looked at the ground and shook my head before answering.

"I consider myself lucky. I still have you and Pep. Thor is alive. And the team, though some were gone, we still got some left. I always try to think that maybe, there's still hope." Tears blurred my vision as I spoke with a shaky voice.

Tony did not answer, instead, he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and gave me a reassuring squeeze.

_"Promise me you'll get a life, too. We can never change what's been and gone but that doesn't mean your future can't be so much more than this."_

\--

The drive home was a pain. The streets were still empty and not many signs of life were in sight. It was a ghost town lit by the warm glow of the setting sun.

I did not know when the team was coming back. I dreaded thinking I'd come home to an empty facility but was even more shocked to see the ship back just as I entered the gates.

I quickly pulled over and parked my car before rushing inside. The team was in the living area, even more devastated than before they left -- shoulders slumped, vacant expressions, silent screams of despair. Taking a couple of painful steps towards them, I managed to speak.

"W-what happened? W-where's Thor?"

Steve stood from where he was sitting and walked towards me, "He can tell you everything..." he tilted his head towards the direction of my room, a ghost of a sad smile etched on his lips.

\--

I entered my room only to find my bed empty so I walked towards my office and there he was, back turned towards me as he braced himself in the glass table, his head hung low, muscles tensed, and breathing laboured.

_I knew it then._

I wrapped an arm around his middle and placed a soft peck on his back. "How was it? You know I really missed you." My voice cracked in between my sentences as I struggled not to crumble.

"There's no more hope, love. It cannot be undone."

His voice was stone-cold and rigid, covered in clouds of darkness as the storm inside him threatened to burst forth anytime.

My brows furrowed and my mind declined accepting what he said.

"What do you mean? I-it c-can't be..." I slowly pulled away as he straightened to give me sharp stare with his bloodshot eye.

"IT'S OVER, Y/N! He destroyed the stones!" His voice boomed as flashes of lightning struck outside. He yanked me by my arm, gripping it tightly as his jaw clenched.

"Do you understand?! We can't undo it!" He hissed, gritting his teeth just as he let go of my arm to punch the table with all his might, shattering the glass out of fury and disappointment.

I was frozen in place, weeping as I stared at the broken pieces of glass which resembled state of my heart that moment. _I was crushed._

Thor must've felt it as his features softened and took few slow, steps towards me with pleading eyes, one massive arm snaking around me, "I am sorry."

I lifted my head as he cupped my face, bruising my lips with his desperate kisses which I then returned with the same fire, pulling him in towards me as I wrapped both arms and legs around him. We were both angry and in pain, we were a mess and we needed each other. At that moment, we were each anchors, trying to save the other from drowning in the miserable ocean of despair.

Thor's usual careful, gentle caress were replaced with frantic movements as he rid us of the barriers between our skin, both craving to feel alive in each other's touch. One thing led to another and we were on a hapless heap in bed as we ravaged each other, taking advantage of the only thing we had control over.

I felt his calloused hands running, memorizing every inch of my skin as he set our pace. My fingers raked and dug on his skin as he increased our rhythm, plowing fast, rough, and hard enough to take both our pain away at that very moment. His savage kisses were like prayers against my lips and I was like a saint craving for more.

"Look at me," Thor breathed into my lips as he pinned my hands above my head, lacing our fingers together as he drove into all the right spots.

I struggled to keep my eyes open to see his face, brows scrunched and lips agape while he sent us both into the abyss, eyes still staring intently at me.

"I love you so much, Y/N."

With one, hard thrust, he finally set us both spiralling into our own haven. Our groans and moans were swallowed by our hungry yet loving kisses as our bodies drifted back to earth.

I breathed him in as I buried my face in his warmth, our limbs tangled as we mourned for our loss. We were each other's lifeline, and between our sobs and shallow breaths, he held me impossibly close. It snatched my mind away from the chaos and had me whispering against his neck those six words that I was a thousand percent certain about amidst the uncertainties around us.

_"I love you so much, Thor."_

_\--_


	12. Half-Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting: Starting from this chapter, the timelines would span across the five years before the second snap. Each event will unfold in different timelines and/or POVs and will unravel how Y/N, Thor, and the others change and make crucial decisions as they try to move on and start anew.

_**"** _ _**I'm awake in the afternoon** _  
_**I fell asleep in the living room** _  
_**And it's one of those moments** _  
_**When everything is so clear** _

_**Before the truth goes back into hiding** _   
_**I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding** _   
_**To work on finding something more than this fear** _

_**It takes so much out of me to pretend** _   
_**Tell me now, tell me how to make amends** _

_**I keep trying to understand** _   
_**This thing and that thing, my fellow man** _   
_**I guess I'll let you know** _   
_**When I figure it out** _

_**But I don't mind a few mysteries** _   
_**They can stay that way it's fine by me** _   
_**And you are another mystery I am missing** _

_**It takes so much out of me to pretend** _

_**Maybe, I need to see the daylight** _   
_**To leave behind the half-life** _   
_**Don't you see I'm breaking down** _

_**Lately, something here don't feel right** _   
_**This is just a half-life** _   
_**Is there really no escape?** _   
_**No escape from time** _   
_**Of any kind** _

_**Wake me, let me see the daylight** _   
_**Save me from this half-life** _   
_**Let's you and I escape** _   
_**Escape from time** _

_**Come on lets fall in love, again"** _

\--

**Thor's POV**

A month had passed since our failed attempt to undo what Thanos did. A month since I sliced Thanos' head off, which really did not change anything. I tried to live each day and forced myself out of the deep, dark corners of my mind. I guessed these were the consequences I would have to live with, the regrets I would forever carry.

Y/N brought up conversations about visiting New Asgard so I can see my people and my old friends, but I wasn't ready and always denied the fact that they needed me. I was ashamed that I was not able to protect them. I did not know when to go because I never wanted to take Y/N away from her home but I never had the strength to leave her. She was my only hope but I am not worthy.

It wasn't until one night that I dreamt about my parents reminding me of my duty that I finally decided to take the responsibilty, despite my embarrassment and guilt. It wasn't until I saw a vision of Y/N, lifeless in my arms, that I finally decided to let go of my fantasy of being with her forever. I finally realised that I had kept her from living a life she deserved.

Y/N cleared her throat as she snapped her fingers in front of my face to get my attention. I blinked my eyes as she noticed how I was drowning in thoughts.

"Thor, are you okay?" she casually asked as she stuffed her face with the pasta she prepared for our dinner.

"Yes, my love." I gulped and stared at her ever beautiful eyes, "I just had a thought..."

"About what?"

"Asgard. I've decided to pay them a visit and maybe..."

Y/N glanced at me as she wiped her lips, "That's good. I can make arrangement so we can go there."

My heart shattered at her reaction. She wanted to come and be with me. How could I ever tell her that I couldn't take her? That I shouldn't because the fates were cruel to show me I would not do her any good? That it was maybe... the end of the line for us?

"Y/N."

She cocked head and raised her brow at me, scrutinizing my facial reaction.

"We need to talk..." I continued as I edged closer towards her, taking her hand with mine.

"You're scaring me, you know. What's bothering you?"

I watched her clench her jaw as she placed the fork down to face me, pushing her plate away.

"I shouldn't take you with me. I can't take you away from them.." I mumbled in a hushed tone, careful not to break in front of her. Y/N shrugged, unfazed by what I said.

"But we can make arrangements, We have our jet.. we can schedule when to stay there and go back here..."

"I can't, my love. Y-you deserve to live a less complicated life than what I can offer..." I trailed, seeing Y/N's expression fall as she looked at our entwined fingers.

"Yeah. That's a break-up line." she looked up at me as tears flooded her eyes. "Is that what you want? That's it?"

"My lady, I..."

"No, Thor. No. I refuse." She stood then, taking away the plates from the table and placing them on the sink.

I heard her sniffle softly and I could not help myself. I walked towards her, hugging her from behind as I place a soft kiss on the top of her head before burying my face on her hair, inhaling the scent of strawberries and vanilla. I closed my eyes as she placed her arms on top of mine and leaned back against me.

"Don't you ever say that again."

"I am sorry, my love." I tilted her head by her chin and pecked her lips softly.

_I had already decided._

\--

That night, I made love to her for the last time and deep inside me I knew that she felt it. I took my time with her, savouring every second, breathing her in, and memorizing the feel of her lips and skin against mine.

She was crying the whole time and just the sight of her was enough to be the death of me. I kissed her tears away as I whispered endless _i love you's_ and cried her name out like a song in the night.

And I held her after, letting my tears fall free once she had peacefully drifted off to sleep in my arms, _for the last time._

At the break of dawn, I gathered enough strength to pull away from her warm embrace, carefully placing a pillow in my place. It killed me to see her groan and extend her arm to reach for me, her face turning into a frown just before she clutched the pillow tightly.

I choked out a sob as tears filled my throat. I did not want to leave her, but I would rather die for a lifetime rather than see her suffer in any way.

Placing a last lingering kiss on her lips with my trembling ones, I left a necklace with a note for when she awaken and tried to find me. To be honest, it took every ounce of my strength and will-power to pull away from her.

With heart torn to pieces, I took a last look on her tear-stained face, keeping her in my memories, before leaving her so she can live her life away from my misery, leaving her with the remaining piece of my heart.

"I love you so much, my lady."

\--

_My dear Y/N,_

_You've stolen and captured my heart the moment I first saw you._ _I am eternally grateful that you have given me the chance to have all amazing these moments with you, through joy and pain. I've lived a thousand years but I've had the best ones with you_ _, and I will treasure these until my dying breath._

_My love, please know that I never intended to leave but I can never bear taking away any more of your beautiful years from you. You deserve so much more than what I can offer you. I am never worthy. Live, my love, live._

_You already sacrificed so much for me, and this time, it is I who has to carve my own path._ _Sleep well at night knowing that I may have left but my love for you would always be just be as ardent as your fire. It will never falter and will never waver. And I will dream of you, always._ _Should the fates be kinder, we shall cross paths again in the future and I will forever yearn for that moment._

_I love you very much, Y/N. I always have and I always will._

_Yours always,_   
_Point Break_

_\--_

**_Y/N's POV_ **

I could not breathe. The pain was excruciating. It was as if something was digging a massive hole in my chest that pain resonated in my whole being. I read his letter for like the nth time since I opened my eyes and not a single time did my tear stop falling.

The last month I've spent with him was perfect and fleeting. I did not have a clue that it will come to this. I was angry that I did not notice him breaking and falling hard. I was hurt that he left me just like that. I was numb from how painful it was to accept that we were... _over._

It took me about a week to finally stop crying over him. I managed to get out my room in the wee hours of night and stayed in one of the many living rooms of the facility, thinking I was alright already.

I sat on the couch, a box of Pop-Tarts at hand while blasting Home Alone in the television. I munched his favourite treat, and the taste alone reminded me of the god of thunder and how his lips tasted whenever he devoured the whole box in one sitting. It reminded me of our simple moments in the same couch I was in. It reminded me of his laugh and the way he held me until I fall asleep, reminded me of those hushed sweet nothings and his deep voice waking me up in the morning. _Those were all gone now._

In the middle of a funny scene, I broke down. Again. Afraid that anyone would hear me, I bit the edge of the sleeves of my jacket, muffling my sobs and trying to force a loud laugh which came out like an anguished scream for help.

Staring blankly at the screen, I fiddled with the necklace he left me as I ran out of tears to cry. I dozed off in the couch and stirred just as I felt someone covering me with a blanket.

"Hey..." I squinted from the faint light from the television as I tried to see who it was. My swollen eyes made it even harder for me to pry my eyes open.

"Ugh. You look awful." Nat frowned at me as I scooted and curled my body, making space for her.

"Gee, thanks." I chuckled and looked at her as she reached towards me, taking my cold hand and giving it a squeeze as she sat there in silence. It was comforting that I did not have to explain anything. _It was comforting to know that I was never alone._

\--

There wasn't a time I stopped thinking about Y/N. It was almost two years since I left New York to be in New Asgard thinking my people needed me. They did not. I was as useless here, and even more miserable. In the eyes of the people, I was a failure and they weren't wrong. The only one who believed in me was Y/N. _And I failed her, too._

Instead of being the rightful king, I fell into hard habits, drowning myself in alcohol just so I could feel something. I reckoned it was better to be retching up streams of vomit every night and enduring headaches daily instead of feeling completely _nothing_. My life had completely turned around.

New Asgard had started improving and I wondered how they did it. It must've been the Valkyrie who led them, but what puzzled me was trying to understand where and how she got the resources to even build a new library and pubs for the people. I also noticed there were new boats to aid the Asgardian to make a living. The people were also able to build a facility which helped them with the harvest and produce which I believed they traded with neighbouring areas.

In the midst of these changes, I swore I sometimes saw Y/N and heard her voice. I often bugged Miek and Korg about it, which they shrugged off most of the time. I always asked Brunhilde whether somebody paid me a visit, and the answer was always a hard, resounding "No."

I knew it was impossible. I left her and she probably hated me more than anyone. Those moments must've been one of the million daydreams I had about her, one of the millions times I saw her in my slumber. I must've completely lost my sanity from missing her. And I missed her, a lot, every single day. Maybe, if I did not leave her, I would've been able to save myself.

 _I wanted to make amends from what I did. I wanted to let her know that I love her and I need her to continue breathing._ _But I was too far gone and I plummeted even deeper. H_ _ow do I escape this half-life?_

\--

One year after the Thor left me, I started rebuilding myself. Not for myself but for the people I have left. I decided to look past the pain and the fear crippling inside me for a long time.

It was a struggle to pretend everything was fine but that was the beauty of it. The devastating fires which turned us to ashes left embers. The embers which gave a soft, warm glow to comfort and reassure us that beautiful things can be coaxed from what was left of us -- like a phoenix rising from the ashes, like the light at the end of a long tunnel, like the rainbow after a month long hurricane, like _the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it's sent away*,_ and like the first time I held Morgan in my arms.

A soft smile crept into my lips as she cooed as I carried her, only a few hours after Pepper gave birth to her. She became an ember of hope that ignited my fire to live again.

"She's perfect." I marveled in a shaky voice as I watch her sleep in my arms.

Tony kneeled before me to watch his daughter, "of course she is. She's my daughter. And she got my nose.."

I let out a soft chuckle as tears cascaded on my cheek out if sheer joy.

"Why are you crying? Is it because you realized your future children won't be as beautiful? Come on, Y/N. You're gorgeous. You can make that, too."

I shook my head at Tony and he pat my shoulder as he stood, knowing me too well.

"Oh gods, I hope she doesn't inherit that mouth."

Tony snickered softly, taking his daughter from my arms softly to put her in her cradle before sitting beside me.

"Y/N, we got so lucky because we chose to live. And I hope you do the same. Leave behind this half-life you kept holding on to. It's never too late to start again." Tony yawned and stretched his limbs as he stood.

"Y/N? Would you mind looking after her for a while? I badly need sleep." Tony let out another yawn and then proceeded to kiss his wife and daughter who were both asleep.

"I will, because you asked so nicely."

_The things that happened before transformed us, and one of the most notable changes was Tony's. I could only smile at what he said, because he was right. They chose to live, and as I watched their family, I decided to live, too._

_\--_

The Avengers had started to work again over the course of the years. This time with the guidance of Natasha. The team was different now. It was composed of those who remained, including Carol and General Okoye.

Steve, Nat, and Y/N remained a closed-knit bunch, helping each other survive just by being there.

There were quiet moments when they would just binge-watch their favourite series or times when they'd read books together, or sleep in the living area after a few bottles. There were quiet moments when they just held each other and mourned together.

But there were times when they laughed together after a stupid story Steve often share or whenever Nat would burn what she'd bake. There were times when they ensured to celebrate small wins like having haircut, or doing groceries, or strolling at the park. They were there during special moments like Morgan's birthday celebrations, or the foundation of Steve's support group, or the commemoration of those who vanished. 

"So how was the team?" Y/N asked Nat as she twirled her fork and stuffed her face with Steve's new recipe.

Nat shrugged and shook her head, "Less crimes lately, except for one I guess."

"And Clint?" Steve dragged his chair so he can sit after serving the ladies.

"We still can't find him..." Nat answered, wiping her lips, feigning indifference.

Y/N squeezed Nat's arms and looked at her friend with hopeful eyes.

"I'll live." the red haired girl forced a smile as she looked at both Y/N and Steve.

"This isn't living, _yet._ Surviving, yes. But I am proud of how far we've come." Y/N smiled, raising a glass of wine, "For us, for _hope_."

The three of them smiled and raised their glass for a toast as they emptied their plates and their endless, simple stories.

"So Y/N. You're leaving for another country again right? Where to?"

When Y/N rebuilt a conglomerate of the Stark Industries a year after the snap, she realized that there was an overflow in their resources and there were areas and people who needed aid. She rebuilt herself by rebuilding those communities in need. And she was doing a massive great job at that.

Y/N nodded at Steve and took a sip of wine before looking back at him.

"Norway."

Steve sighed in defeat and arched a brow, "Again?"

Nat shook her head at Steve, asking him not to question Y/N's decision. Y/N hadn't given up on the god like how Nat hadn't given up on Clint.

"We can't blame her, Steve. These people are the ones who needed the most help. Right, Y/N?"

Finishing her glass, Y/N turned towards Steve and shrugged. "It's been three years since I started helping them and I am already seeing the improvements. They started trading about a year ago, so.."

"You're there for like 10 times a year, Y/N. Sure you don't want to live there?" Steve gave her a soft smirk as they started clearing the table.

"Stop attacking me. Their king won't let me live there, remember?"

"I am just worried about you, you know." Steve admitted, placing the glasses on the rack as Y/N and Nat finished washing and cleaning them off. 

Nat knew how Steve felt for Y/N. They were best of friends. However, she also knew that Steve might've been feeling this way for her because she was as headstrong as Peggy. His _true love._

Steve accepted it as well. That they were better off as friends no matter how much he wanted to try be and what she needed. He never acted upon this, though. He did not want to take advantage of Y/N's vulnerability. 

That night, Nat asked Steve and Y/N to leave her alone for a while because she wanted a "me" time. It was so rare that Y/N giggled like a child when she said it. 

Nat gave Steve a knowing look, reminding him of their previous conversations years ago while Steve was holding Y/N in his arms after a long night of crying spells.

_"She's not her, Steve. She's Y/N." Natasha's voice was hushed as she tried not to wake her up._

_"I know." Steve held Y/N's frame tighter before moving to place her in his lap as the three of them slept their pain away._

Y/N and Steve took a stroll on the beach just behind the facility. Y/N was always barefoot whenever they walked by the shore. She used to wiggle her toes in the sand the very second before the waves washed it away. It was soothing, she always told them. 

Steve smiled as his eyes watched her intently as she recited a line from her favourite spoken word poetry as she always did whenever they were by the shore.

_"There is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it is sent away."_

Y/N's eyes were closed as she spoke these words, her head turned up as the wind blew her hair. That night, as Steve heard the line for a millionth time, it dawned to him that it was the perfect metaphor for Y/N.

People had pushed her away countless times because they were broken. Thor did. The Avengers did. Nat did. _He did._ But despite how harsh they were towards her many times, Y/N was persistent and she never gave up on rebuilding these broken souls, until there was nothing left of her. Steve was amazed upon seeing that she drew strength from never giving up on people. He became aware that in her moment of brokenness, she found who she really was.

Steve finally accepted that he could not save her. Because Y/N did not need saving. 

Steve was quiet the whole time Y/N was sharing her stories about the places she visited. Y/N frowned as she saw Steve staring at her blankly. 

"Hey old man, are you even listening?" she asked him and Steve moved closer towards her.

"Yeah. I'm sorry." Steve chuckled and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You seem lost in your train of thoughts. What are you thinking?"

Steve swallowed and bore his blue eyes on hers. He wanted to set things right.

"You know, Y/N, I once envied Thor when you chose him. Hated him when he left you several times and broke you big time. I desperately wanted to be what you needed and when he left you with nothing but a note, I swore I was ready to kill that son of a bitch," his voice was flat yet sincere, his lips pursed.

Y/N's brows furrowed at his statement, she was left speechless at the sudden revelation. 

"Why are you saying this?"

"I have loved you for the longest time, Y/N. At least the version of you that I created inside my head."

"Steve..." Y/N's voice was quiet as she reluctantly reached towards him and he took her hand, pressing a soft kiss on her knuckle. Y/N could not stop stop her tears from falling as a lone tear rolled on Steve's cheek.

"Please don't cry." Steve chucked softly, "This is my moment and I am not done yet."

Y/N laughed heartily as she wiped her tears away.

"I always wanted to save you, Y/N, but I was wrong. I was a fool to think that. Because in the midst of our chaos, I realized you were our salvation. You never needed saving." Steve smiled at her, letting out a large, pent-up breath. 

"So this is me, finally letting go of the idea that I need to save you, and this is me accepting the fact that we were meant to be together as friends and families should." Steve's down-turned, quivering lips formed into a soft grin. 

Y/N smiled softly at him before he wrapped his arms around her, only half selfish this time. He hugged her, knowing the strong woman she truly was, and not the damsel in distress he so desired to save.

_"Thank you so much, Steve."_

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *What I quoted was a line from Sarah Kay's spoken word poetry, "If I Should Have a Daughter/Point B"


	13. Dare You to Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting: The scenes include some flashbacks and there would be changes in timelines. This chapter focuses on building the team again after Scott Lang reappeared after five years. This focuses on their hope and another shot at redemption.
> 
> Flashbacks are italicized.

**_"Welcome to the planet_ **   
**_Welcome to existence_ **   
**_Everyone's here_ **   
**_Everybody's watching you now_ **   
**_Everybody waits for you now_ **   
**_What happens next?_ **

**_Welcome to the fallout_ **   
**_Welcome to resistance_ **   
**_The tension is here_ **   
**_Between who you are and who you could be_ **   
**_Between how it is and how it should be_ **

**_I dare you to move_ **   
**_I dare you to move_ **   
**_I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor_ **   
**_I dare you to move_ **   
**_I dare you to move_ **   
**_Like today never happened_ **   
**_Today never happened before_ **

**_Maybe redemption has stories to tell_ **   
**_Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell_ **   
**_Where can you run to escape from yourself?_ **   
**_Where you gonna go?_ **   
**_Salvation is here"_ **

_\--_

**_Y/N's POV_ **

_My whole body ached from our 10 hour flight. I had one of Stark Industries' pilot to fly me to Tønsberg, a town just south of Norway which was now called New Asgard. It was not a surprise as it was regarded as the oldest town of Norway, founded by the Vikings themselves._

_Throughout the flight, my mind was swimming as I did not know what to expect. I longed to see him. It had been a year since he left me and I hadn't heard anything since._

_I spent countless of sleepless nights to find where New Asgard was until I realized Odin was in Norway before. I scavenged for contacts that might help me find where exactly in Norway the Asgardians were. Once I received confirmation and reports on their current quality of life, I arranged everything they might need starting from livelihood aids and trading support. I was all prepared to face them all except for one... Thor._

_I sat on another hour drive to New Asgard after landing in the nearest airport. It was a rural place on top of a cliff, overlooking the beauty of the Arctic Ocean. The place was breath-taking, even though half the marine life vanished after the snap. It was the main source of the people who once lived there and the snap took a toll on this, which was now the burden of the Asgardians._

_The truck pulled over towards a dock where flocks of people scrambled for produce, taking nets after nets of their meagre catch._

_My heart raced just as I went out of and closed creaking door of the truck which banged loud enough to gather attention. The Asgardians eyed me from head to toe as if trying to remember whether they had seen me before. I gave them a curt nod as I straightened my posture before I took slow steps towards them. The cold wind did not help with my nerves as my hand started sweating._

_An old lady ran towards me and held me by the arms tightly, "Ah, you're her! Freyja's daughter!" she exclaimed, touching the pendant of my necklace before turning to the other Asgardians in the area. Her eyes were wide as she released a cackle, her nails already digging on my skin through my coat. She was freaking out and I was dumbfounded by her reaction. It was as if she wasn't in her right mind. "I am a seer. I know who you are... I saw you coming, and you should not be here. You will just cry... like him!"_

_"I am sorry... I don't understand." I smiled politely despite my rapidly beating heart and shaky breathing._

_"You will be miserable like us!" the old lady shouted at me which took me aback, as I tried to free myself from her iron fist. The lady was about to whisper something to me but a voice from behind startled her._

_"Hey, seer! Let her go!" I turned to see a younger lady scowling at the seer who then withdrew her hand off me._

_I glanced at the lady and noticed her strong built. I was pretty sure she could knock me out easily, but her face said a different thing as she looked at me intently, as if she could not believe her eyes._

_"Thank you." I so awkwardly rubbed my arms when the lady strode towards me, placing the fish trap she was holding on the ground._

_"I'm--"_

_Just before I got the chance to say my name, the woman shook her head, her eyes were wide as she scrutinized me. I followed the direction of her eyes until it landed on my necklace._

_"I know who you are. You're Y/N, daughter of Freyja." she looked up at me, and bowed her head curtly._

_"Oh no. No, please. There's no need for such formality." I smiled at her politely as she lifted her head._

_"You look just like her. Your eyes are as intense…" She remarked, wiping her hand on her shirt before extending it to shake mine._

_"You must be the Valkyrie. Pleased to meet you." I clasped her hand tightly for a second before pulling away._

_"Yes, lady Y/N. I am Brunnhilde."_

_"How did you know me?"_

_The Valkyrie smirked at me, scratching her brow, "The king wouldn't stop talking about you when he's drunk, which is all the time. I can lead you to him now, if you just follow me."_

_My heart fell at what she said, "No. No, please. It's not what I am here for." My gaze met hers as I sucked in a long breath, filling my lungs, before slowly releasing it._

_She just smiled softly as she led me towards a place I assumed was hers. It was a simple cabin just a few yards from the cliff. Despite the cold outside, her place was warm from the fireplace. I sat on a wooden chair as she offered me a glass of ale which I gladly took._

_"Thank you."_

_"Why are you here, then? If not for him?"_

_I felt the bitter foam of the ale surround my taste buds from one sip. "I want to provide aid. I know the quality of life here had been difficult, especially for the Asgardians. Earth is far different from your kingdom."_

_That was when she became stern. She released and exasperated sigh before crossing her arms in her chest. "I can't let you do that. Not out of pity."_

_"I am not asking for your permission." I_ _straightened my back, placing the glass on the table, "_ _I am sorry. But look, your king is not... functioning well. You're here and I see you're doing a great job. But have you seen the people? They are scrambling off resources so they can live."_

_"The king hadn't been a king for a while. What do you plan to do? What's in it for you?" she cocked her head._

_I walked the Valkyrie through the resources Stark Industries can provide such as new boats to aid their fishermen, cultivate the marine life and greenery again for fresh produce that can be traded to neighbouring areas, and build libraries and public houses to feed their soul._

_"We can do it little by little if you could just help me. This is for the people. And this is your new home, you know. It's not like you're going anywhere."_

_The Valkyrie sighed in defeat as she looked at the plans I had, and finally accepted my offer. "Let's inform the king about it, then. Don't you think he has to know?"_

_I placed a hand on her forearm, "That's another thing... I don't want him to know... that I am behind all these."_

\-- 

_Thor's bulky arms swept off the contents of table by their window so he can squeeze himself into the tight corner to peek on who Brunnhilde was speaking to. His movements were hurried and desperate, like a child sneaking for another silly adventure._

_Their place was much higher than the Valkyrie’s, so he was able to watch passers-by. That exact moment he sat to get another glass from the keg, he saw Brunnhilde speaking with someone all too familiar. Thor shook his head and scratched his eyes, but his heart skipped a beat at the thought of Y/N looking of him._

_Despite his huge frame, Thor slouched by the glass window, wiping the dust off with his muddy coat to see clearly. It was Y/N. He was sure of it. He met her eyes, and he knew those eyes._

_"Korg! Miek She's here!" Thor laughed like a lunatic as he stared at the lady while Korg was busy setting up his Wi-Fi connection for another round at Fortnite._

_Thor shifted his body to look at him, before hauling the Kronan's body towards the window which caused a couple of rocks to fall off._

_"What's that, mate?"_

_"She's here! Y/N, she's here!" the god of thunder exclaimed, as he let Korg peek through the window._

_"There! That lady with Valkyrie." he rubbed his palm together as he watched the Kronan._

_"No one's with the Valkyrie, mate. She's alone, 'der."_

_Thor gulped and pulled him away from the small window to look again, "That could not be. She was there. And I am not even drunk yet..."_

_His voice trailed off upon seeing the Valkyrie alone as she went back to her cabin._

_Korg pat his back and shrugged, "'ow could she be 'ere, mate? It has been a year. Ya left 'er, remember? She's in the fancy place?"_

_"Yeah. Yeah, of course. It must've been in someone... lost."_

_Thor emptied his glass and propped himself on the couch as he watched Korg's game. Deep inside him, he knew it was her. He was certain about it._

\-- 

_Y/N was outside Brunnhilde's place as she they discussed where to start the project. She scanned the area the Valkyrie was suggesting as her eyes landed on a house made of brick. She squinted her eyes as she noticed someone watching by the window. Her heart sunk. Despite the dimmed surrounding from the setting sun, she knew it was him._

_Y/N gasped. "Brunnhilde, does Thor live there?"_

_"Oh shit... Yes."_

_Y/N's stare lingered for a bit longer, watching how his locks had already started to grow as his beard covered his face again. And she looked him in the eyes for a couple of second before Thor moved away from the window, breaking the connection._

_"Perhaps, I should go. If he asks... if he ever does so, don't tell him."_

_"Are you sure you aren't staying for supper?"_

_Y/N politely declined and Brunnhilde showed her a better path where she won't be seen easily._

_"Thank you. I shall come back with the aid I spoke about."_

\-- 

_A loud knock woke the Valkyrie up. The sun hadn't risen yet, but Thor was already barging her._

_"What is it, your majesty?" Brunnhilde scowled at him_

_"Did anybody pay you a visit? Last night? A girl?"_

_Brunnhilde sighed, "No one visited." she tried keeping a straight-face, but the Valkyrie was not a good liar._

_Thor noticed the way her expression flinched. She was hiding something. "You sure?" he arched a brow at her._

_"Yes!" Brunnhilde insisted, slamming her door on his face._

* * *

** 5 years after the first snap **

"You know I keep telling everyone they should move on and grow. Some do, but not us." Steve sighed, looking at Nat who was crying after learning that Clint had gone astray, completely.

"If I move on, who does this?" Nat looked up at him, eyes brimming with tears.

"Maybe it doesn't need to be done."

Nat took a deep breath, "I used to have nothing, and then I got this. This job, this family. And I... I was better because of it." Natasha leaned back, swallowing her tears. "Even though... they're gone... I'm still trying to be better."

Steve's brows furrowed and gave her a sad smile, "I think we both need to get a life,"

"You first." Nat's lip formed into a lopsided smirk as her tears slowly roll on her cheek.

The comfortable silence lasted for only a second until Nat's hologram screen lit up. Someone's at the front gate. Someone who they though vanished from the snap. Scott Lang.

\-- 

Y/N was staying over Tony's house to spend time with the family for the past week. She was busy preparing lunch with Pepper. It was so rare that they got to cook together since Morgan but since she started busying herself with her toys, Pepper made sure to do something special occasionally.

"Hey, Y/N, would you mind checking the pie, please?"

"Sure, Pep." Y/N nodded, wiping hand on her apron after she finished cleaning the plates to set the table up. 

Y/N jumped a little as she felt her phone vibrate inside her pockets. 

"Hello?"

 _"Y/N? Y/N, we need you."_ the voice on the other line was stern yet a bit panicked. 

"Steve. What's wrong?"

_"Nothing's wrong... but something might be right."_

"Huh?" Y/N's face scrunched in confusion as she crouched to check the pie Pepper was baking.

_"Where are you? Please don't tell me you're in Norway again."_

"I am at Tony's."

_"Perfect. See you, then. We'll explain everything later."_

The line disconnected and Y/N placed her phone inside her pocket again, walking towards Pepper, who was already giving her a questioning look.

"Guess we have some friends coming over."

\-- 

Nat, Steve, and Scott arrived as promised. I heard a car pull-over as Pepper and I hurried to finish preparing the table. 

I went out of the patio where they were, served them some drinks before leaning on a wooden frame, listening to them talk about rules of Quantum Physics. Well, in layman's term, they are talking about the possibility of time travel. If I had heard that 20 years ago, I would've thought it was crazy. But nothing was ever crazy for me anymore.

Well of course, the team was always hopeful that we might find another shot at redemption. But for Tony, his second chance was his family. No one could and no should take that away from him.

The three were about to leave before I walked over to them and gave Steve and Nat a hug.

"I know you understood him. But let me try... to convince him." My voice was firm and reassuring, because I wanted this, too. If this was our chance for a second shot, then I was more than ready to suit up again. 

Steve told me that they were going to discuss this with another big brain, Bruce. We hadn’t heard much from him but we did hope for Bruce to pull this off. 

_As I watched them leave, I realized that the return of Scott had given us another ember of hope. Time was daring us to move now._

\--

“Aunt Y/N, what’s a time machine?” Morgan asked Y/N as she sat on her lap while they were having dinner.

“Good question. Hard to answer. Well, it’s like car that may help you go back in time. Say you lost your toy yesterday, the time machine will help you go back to the time you lost your toy… so you can maybe get it back.” Y/N playfully pinched Morgan’s cheeks, but her eyes showed Tony a glint of hope.

“Aunt Y/N is right. But that is only in the movies. It’s not possible, so better keep your toys, Morgan Stark.” Tony’s voice was lively, but his blank expression told Y/N that he was pondering about the possibilities, too.

That night, Y/N went home to the compound after a long conversation with Tony and Pepper. They all agreed that the choice would be Tony's alone, and that Y/N understood that nothing would ever be more important than his family. 

Y/N hadn't slept for the previous nights in the hope to figure something about this time heist they were proposing. The night after Bruce's experiment with Scott failed, she spent her time researching and gathering information on what could possibly help them. Her office was filled with hologram screens containing evidences and information that might help Bruce. She did not understand much of this, but still, she was determined to figure something.

Her phone rang and she immediately picked up, not knowing who it was. 

"Hey, it's Y/N. What's up?"

 _"Juice pops are so good, would you agree?"_ Tony's voice startled her at first and she shook her head, spinning the office chair she was sitting in. 

"Yup. I like the strawberry ones." she chuckled, before releasing a heavy breath. 

_"So, why are you awake?"_

"Scott almost chickened out. Gods, I almost volunteered to be the guinea pig. I was freaking ready to turn back time and undo what the monster did." Y/N closed her eyes and there was a second of silence on the line. 

_"I did it, Y/N. I figured it out."_

Upon hearing it, Y/N grasped the edge of the table to stop her chair from spinning, sat straight, and clasped her lips, "Really?"

 _"Yes. Sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."_ Tony hung up the phone as Y/N wiped a lone tear that escaped her eye. 

\--

Tony returned to the facility to show his project plan on how we can navigate the quantum realm. 

With high hopes, Nat had started gathering the team, those who were left and those who needed saving. 

Nat set up a hologram meeting with the ones who weren’t in the facility including Rocket, Nebula, and Rhodey. Like me, Nat hadn’t slept much as she was busy searching where Clint could be.

“How about Barton? Any word from him?” Tony asked Nat and Rhodey, closing the screen where the Mobius strip model was projected.

“Japan. I think he’s there.” Rhodey reported, “We need help in getting him… things are different with him now, Tony.”

“I’ll go.” Nat gulped and nodded, hopeful to save her friend.

“And Thor?” Bruce asked, mouth filled with the pastrami he was eating. “How do we find him?”

“I have no clue where that god is.” Rocket scratched the tip of his nose, then all eyes set on me. I simply nodded at them.

_“I can take you to him.”_

\--

I was sitting beside Scott who was trying to eat his tacos in peace but was often distracted by ships and the others landing in the facility.

"So, where are you going?" Scott asked, flattening out the parchment paper to place the tacos Bruce gave him before he arranged the ship. 

"Norway. We're going to New Asgard to convince Thor to take part..." I smiled at him, tucking the strand of my hair behind my ear as the ship blew harsh winds once it revved for take-off.

"THOR?! Like...the god Thor?!" Scott's eyes had the constant look of amazement and innocence, even in simple things like that. We all appreciated that side of him. As for me, I respected him so much more because if it weren't for him, we might've totally given up on this.

"You'll see. See you later, Ant-man." I winked and smirked at him as I rode the ship, all aboard to New Asgard. 

\--

Thor was grumbling about his fluctuating cable subscription as he emptied his 6th bottle for that day. He hated it because he felt that the beer wasn't as intense anymore. He already stopped dreaming about her since the ale Brunnhilde provided became a little less bitter over time. He thought it might've been his tolerance, but there might’ve been something wrong with the supply. 

Meanwhile, Bruce, Rocket, and Y/N finally arrived to New Asgard.

Y/N personally drove the pick-up van to ease her tension. She was ready to face him, a little drunk this time, she hoped.

"Y/N. How did you know he's here?" Bruce asked from the back.

"It's a long story." Y/N stated, pulling over as she saw Brunnhilde. Bruce and Rocket hopped off the back as Y/N locked the door of the van.

“You shouldn’t have come.” The Valkyrie greeted them, throwing a fish in the keg.

"Ah! Valkyrie! Great to see you, angry girl!" Bruce boomed.

Brunnhilde scanned Bruce who was then merged with the Hulk. "I think I liked you better either of the other ways."

Bruce introduced Rocket to her which took her aback slightly. _A racoon. Great._

“He won’t see you. We only see him once a month he comes for…” Brunnhilde tilted her head to the stacks of keg. “…supplies.”

“Ugh, it’s that bad.”

“Yeah.” Brunnhilde sighed and turned towards Y/N, head shaking, “I already feel bad for her.”

Y/N was busy speaking with the other Asgardians she came to know over the years as the other three discussed Thor's situation. 

Before they left for his house, Y/N went to Brunnhilde and gave her a quick hug. "Did you get the new supply? Is it working?"

"Yes, my lady. I heard from Korg that he became a little less... drunk."

Y/N smiled at her, "Thank you. I guess I’ll handle it from here."

"Good luck, Y/N." Brunnhilde nodded as she got back to her errands.

Y/N led Bruce and Rocket towards Thor's cabin uphill, and that’s when Bruce reopened their conversation.

“Since when have you gone back to him?”

Y/N took a deep breath as they traversed the slopes, “I did not technically come to him. I started providing aid here around a year after the snap when I rebuilt the industry. I made the Brunnhilde promise to never let him know. Around a year ago, I started to deal with his struggles and I started changing his supplies so he can gradually withdraw from his… habits.”

“How did you find the strength to do these things?” Rocket lifted her head, his eyes filled with pity towards the lady.

“Not easy. Kills me every time.” Y/N released a pent-up breath, “It’s all worth it, though.”

It took them few more minutes to reach the place, and just before they knocked, Y/N pulled the two to one side so she can’t be seen.

"You go ahead first. I need to do something. Just wait for me… inside"

Bruce and Rocket nodded at her as she took a different way inside the house, sneaking to get inside Thor's room.

She sat on his bed and quietly prepared some of his clothes and that was when she saw Thor's closet, filled with her pictures and his favourite shirt of hers hung carefully. Her lips curved in a smile as she saw one of her favourite photos of the two of them. It was a stolen shot taken by Tony – the two of them in the balcony during the party, that perfect moment after they shared their first kiss, foreheads still pressed against each other as they smiled against each other’s lips.

Y/N perched herself on the bed as she folded and packed some of his clothes in the bag she brought. From the room, she heard the heated conversation between Thor and Bruce. He was still broken from what happened. But it was now time for him to pick up the broken pieces, to finally figure out who he is and who he could be, figure out how things should be as opposed to how it is that moment. Y/N was ready to face this with him, _again._

Y/N finally gathered her strength to let him see her. Carrying the bag on her hand, she took a deep breath as she hid herself in a large column from where the living room was. 

"There's beer in the ship." Rocket uttered as if offering candies to a child throwing temper tantrums.

"What kind?" the god of thunder asked, his face stained with tears from the previous conversation. 

Just before Rocket could even answer, Thor was startled as someone barged in and dropped a heavy bag on the table, breaking some beer bottles in the process. 

"Hey, god of thunder. Time to move and get your fucking ass up. I already packed your stuff."

Thor dropped the bottle he was holding as he struggled to his feet, eyes wide and mouth agape upon seeing who it was. His heart raced as he fixed his gaze on her, trying to figure out whether it was all real or just another dream. Tears of both joy and regret filled his throat as he whispered her name.

_"Y/N."_

\--


	14. Far Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting: This chapter focuses on Y/N and Thor’s reconciliation, and how the five years unfolded to where they are now.
> 
> Flashbacks are italicised.

**_"This time, this place misused, mistakes  
Too long, too late, who was I to make you wait?  
Just one chance, just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left_ **

**_On my knees I'll ask, "Last chance for one last dance?"  
'Cause with you, I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand  
I'd give it all I'd give for us, give anything, but I won't give up  
'Cause you know you know, you know_ **

**_That I love you, I have loved you all along and I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore  
  
So far away, been far away for far too long  
But you know, you know, you know_ **

**_I wanted, I wanted you to stay  
'Cause I needed, I need to hear you say,  
“That I love you, I have loved you all along  
and I forgive you, for being away for far too long_ **

**_So keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it, hold on to me and never let me go  
Keep breathing, hold on to me and never let me go””_ **

_\--_

“Y/N.”

Thor crumbled in front of her, his chin quivering as he fought his tears. Despite this, he became very much conscious of his current state – unkempt, drunk, miserable. Y/N did not mind, though. She stared back at his eyes and his surprised expression, tears threatening to fall as she forced to speak.

“Hi, my love. It’s been so long…”

“H-hi… I…” Thor never took her eyes off her, afraid she’d vanish in a blink, and he was sure that he’d stop breathing if she ever did.

Y/N turned to Bruce and the others, “Would you excuse us for a while?” They all nodded, feeling the tension between the Thor and Y/N. Despite being teary-eyed, Y/N carried her strong façade and shifted her gaze towards him, “I’ll wait for you outside.” She nodded towards him as she left the house, walking towards the edge of the cliff as she waited for him.

Thor cried then, as he ran his fingers through his unkempt locks and beard. “She’s here. She’s really here now.” His hand trembled and he rubbed his belly, aware of how he changed over the course of the years. He felt his confidence drop. 

“Yes, Thor. And she never left.” Bruce’s voice was low as he placed a hand on Thor’s shoulder.

Thor hurriedly put on a shirt before emptying another bottle to calm his nerves. He was unsure of what to do and what to say, and he was still very overwhelmed of what was happening. As he went out of the door, Thor’s eyes landed on his love who was sitting on make-shift bench right at the edge of the cliff, still waiting for him.

_\--_

I saw Y/N sitting on the bench as she watched the orange skies turn into purple as the autumnal sun slowly faded into the vast horizon. The warm glow of the sun painted the tranquil ocean before being completely swallowed. The colour mimicked the glow of her fireplace which used to give us warmth as we cuddled during cold nights. Every moment I had with her were forever kept safe in my mind. Like the sight of her as I took slow, uncoordinated steps towards her. I still could not believe it wasn’t a dream. She was here. She had found me.

“Aren’t you going to sit?” Y/N looked up at me, her eyes brimming with tears as she moved slowly to make space for me.

My heart sunk at the thought of her crying again. I fiddled with my fingerless gloves, reluctantly sitting beside her, aware and ashamed of how I looked.

“Y/N,” I croaked then started tearing up. I wanted to hold her, I craved to hold her then and there. But it wasn’t the right time. “How did you find me?”

“Hey, I am a good lawyer. I know how to do my research. Give me some credit.” She sniffed and wiped her tears away before meeting my eyes. I released a soft chuckle as my eyes scanned her features, still the same Y/N, strong and ever radiant. And she was wearing the necklace I gave her.

That time, I decided I will not let her slip through my fingers again. I needed her.

“Y/N, I am sorry…” I clenched my jaw as I swallowed my tears, “I regret it, leaving you. It nearly killed me.”

“Do you really think I can ever give you up?”

“I broke your heart. I broke us apart.” I finally shed tears as I leaned back on the bench, losing my remaining strength.

Y/N sighed heavily and shifted her body towards me, and I knew she needed this closeness, too.

“No, we did not break-up. I refused, remember?”

I shook my head as I looked at her with pleading eyes, “I dream about you every single day, my love. Every single day. I thought I already lost my sanity thinking some of them were real.” I mumbled.

Just as I thought nothing could ever shake me anymore, she stared back at my eyes as words that I never imagined hearing left her trembling lips.

_“Not all of those were dreams.”_

* * *

_After a year of working with Brunnhilde and watching over Thor from afar, I decided that enough was enough. I needed Thor and he needed me. No matter how many people stigmatized this, I could not ever give it up. Not when I was certain that still loves and needs me. Only more complicated this time._

_Brunnhilde and I started cultivating the marine life and the people were ready to foster trade, so naturally, it was a huge work for both of us. I was glad that she was always willing to help, and I could count on her no matter what. I did not think we could be friends, but since Freyja was my mother, Brunnhilde had treated me with much respect. She always told me I was just like Freyja, but just a bit scarier. I did not know what she meant then, so I laughed it off._

_"How come you never tire? Why don't you ever give up?" she asked me one night while we were preparing dinner. She made a hearty soup for the two of us as it started pouring outside._

_"I can't. I don't have the strength to give up on the people that I love. Not without trying, at least. That's me." I filled two bowls with the soup just as I finished buttering the bread. "Besides, I have a brother who's just as stubborn." I chuckled, pushing a bowl towards her._

_I was sitting on the couch massaging my feet as the Valkyrie shared different stories about her adventures. I realized she had lost a lot, too, and that made her who she is now. As the night got deeper, she handed me a fleece blanket I could use to fight the cold. We were both ready for slumber, when somebody knocked on her door. Grumbling, she got back on her feet to see who it was._

_"Korg? Why are you here?"_

_The Kronan looked at me and smiled sheepishly before whispering to Brunnhilde. His voice was too loud, I heard anyway._

_"It's Thor, mate. 'Es too drunk to go to his room and I cannot carry 'im or my rocks would fall off."_

_Brunnhilde groaned and looked at me, "Let me go ahead and help. You can stay here."_

_"No. I'll come with you."_

_We walked towards their house to see Thor, drowned in alcohol, body slumped in the couch as he retched in his sleep. I wanted to punch him in the face to wake him up but instead, I went towards him to gently coax him to wake._

_"Thor." I pat his face softly, reaching back to tie his hair in a bun before wiping his face with a clean cloth. "Wake up..."_

_Thor pried his eyes open and sat properly, "Y/N... my love. I am dreaming again." He gave me a toothy grin which made my heart skip a beat._

_"Come on. We have to go to your room." Thor, thinking he was just dreaming, forced himself to stand as the Valkyrie and myself assisted him towards his room._ _Scrambling in the dark, we placed Thor on his bed so he can sleep properly._

_"Thank you... I'll take it from here." I told the Valkyrie as I took a basin of water and two fresh towels._

_"Will you be alright?" she asked worriedly._

_I nodded at her before walking towards Thor to clean him up. I removed his shirt and the pair of slippers he was wearing before pulling the sheets beneath him. I slowly lifted his head by the nape so I can fix the pillows for him._

_His breath reeked of alcohol, so I went out to get a bottle of water for him and managed to find a straw somewhere. I struggled to lift his heavy frame by the shoulder so I can stack another pillow to elevate him._

_I put the straw in the water bottle and gently placed it between his lips, "Come on, you big baby. Just one..." I mumbled, shaking him awake._

_Thor groaned but started sipping from the straw before losing his consciousness again. I gently wiped his skin with the wet towel as I sat beside him on the edge of his already creaking bed. Once he was all cleaned up, I slowly moved to stand before a strong pair of arms encircled waist, yanking me to the bed, my back pressed against him as his grip tightened around me._

_"Y/N... My love. My love..."_

_I felt his warm, steady breathing against the back of my neck, his nose nuzzling my hair._

_"Thor? Are you awake?" I asked, heart racing. I did not receive an answer as he started snoring softly and his arms loosened a bit. With just enough room, I carefully maneuvered to face him. Thor's face was light and peaceful as puffs of breath escaped his slightly parted lips. It had been so long since I was in the same position with him. I softly ran my fingers and tucked his stray hair behind his ear as I normally did before. He released a soft sigh in his sleep which made me press languid kisses in between his eyebrows and tip of his nose. And as I saw a soft grin forming on his lips, I slowly tilted his chin, leaned in closer, and, with a hushed voice, whispered against his lips. "I love you."_

_Thor stirred softly and he tightened his arms around me, burying his face in my neck._

_"Allfather, I beg you. Don't wake me up from this dream anymore." he groaned, nuzzling his face against my skin._

_I wrapped my arms around him as he drifted to slumber, holding me. Tight._

_He started snoring again which earned a soft chuckle from me._

_"Good luck on your massive headache tomorrow."_

_It was the first of the many nights when I looked after him. All the while, he knew those were dreams. It warmed my soul and I waited for him to finally realize that I had never given up on him. These instances started decreasing as the Valkyrie and myself started to lessen his supply to aid him to slowly withdraw from it. I prayed to all the gods for it to work. Tenacity – guess that was both my strength and my fatal flaw._

_\--_

_I groaned from a pounding headache as I woke up that morning. I had such a great dream and my heart ached that the fates woke me up to an empty bed. I rubbed and hugged the pillow beside me as I took a deep breath, trying to re-live the dream. It felt so real._

_"Y/N.." I uttered as I whiffed the scent of her from the pillow, that distinct sweet smell of strawberries and vanilla, her favourite shampoo._

_Starting from that night, I used to drink a lot more. It was the only way to dream about her that felt so real. And I craved for it like oxygen that kept me breathing. Until things changed._

* * *

"My lady, what do you mean they are not all dreams?" I asked her, praying to the gods that she'd tell me some of it were not figments of my imaginations.

"Some of it were real, Thor. You never lost me. Not once." Y/N's tear started falling as she answered me, making me kneel in front of her.

"They were? Those weren't dreams? Your scent on my pillow? Your warmth?" I took her hand and placed kisses on her knuckles. "Those were real?"

"I am sorry it took me so long. I was afraid that you'd push me away if you ever find out..." her voice cracked as she looked me in the eyes, her tears never ceasing.

"It's everything I ever wanted, my love. Just another chance before I quit breathing." I broke down holding her hand on my face as I leaned forward, planting my face on her knee. "I never stopped loving and missing you. Please forgive this foolish god... just one last time." I gripped her hand tight, unable to even look at her on my current state.

Y/N placed her other hand on the back of my head and tilted my chin up with the other so I could meet her eyes. "I forgive you. Keep breathing, come home to me..." 

With one swift move, I wiped her tears, pulled her head towards me, and not giving a care in the world, pressed my lips against hers. I felt alive as a soft whimper escaped her lips when she kissed me back as passionately _. It felt just like our first kiss._

_"Never let go again."_

\--

"Clint?"

He's back. Hawkeye looked even more lethal this time. His arm covered with tattoos, his hair in a cleanly shaven undercut. Clint turned towards me, and despite the air of melancholy surrounding him, he smiled. 

"Hey, Y/N."

He enveloped me in a warm, tight hug and I pat his back. "Great to have you back, Hawkeye."

Clint pulled away and squeezed my shoulder and then looked behind me. "Thor?!" he asked, his eyeballs almost popped out in shock. "…and I thought I was the _worst_."

Thor shook his head and let out a booming laugh. "Barton." He nodded before patting his shoulder.

One by one, the team started milling around the area and I felt Thor tensed behind me. He started gripping the hem of my shirt with his massive hand, pulling me closer in front of him as if I can hide him beneath me. 

I shifted and looked up at him, "It's going to be fine." I smiled, placing a hand on his arm to soothe him.

Just as I said those words, I heard a loud, exaggerated gasp from behind. No surprise, _it was Tony_.

"Oh... my... god. I am now officially... The. Hottest. A...venger!" he exclaimed, hand on his chest. 

"Shut up, Tony!" I chuckled, plopping myself on the couch as Thor faced him, a huge smile etched on his lips.

"Well, I am not out of the picture, yet, Stark." Steve smirked, as he entered the room.

“Between us, who figured out the time travel thing?” Tony teased and Steve could only shake his head, “That’s right. Me. The title’s mine.”

Tony winked at me then clasped Thor’s hand and pat his shoulder. "It's good to see you, Point Break."

“Stark, Rogers. I must say I missed your constant bickering.” Thor shook both their hands before as the room filled with the whole team. “But just so you wait… just so you wait…” he threatened playfully.

“Glad you’re back, Thor.” 

I was just watching the team when I felt the couch dip beside me as Scott took a seat, his eyes on the god.

“Y/N.” he whispered, “That’s him? Right? Thor?” he mouthed the words, too scared to be heard.

I snickered at his reaction. “Yes, he is.”

He just nodded at me and quietly sat there while they sped up Thor on the plan. He then shifted at me again, eyes never leaving the god. “He is very… Vikings.”

“Well, technically, he is.” I chuckled.

To be honest, Thor still wasn’t in the peak condition to fully comprehend everything, but we spent the whole day working on the model Tony built. Mainly, Nat and I were helping Bruce conduct research on what type of suits would work for them as they navigate the quantum realm. _It was not my forte and it was damn difficult._

On top of this, I was mainly responsible of ensuring Thor was coping well. If he was not emptying cans of beers, he was binging on sweets, and I tried my hardest to regulate it. _Even more difficult, in all honesty._ But I could not give up, now that we were so close to finding a way to bring back what we lost.

\--

That night as Thor settled back in my room, I went to the kitchen to see Nat and Tony sharing a bottle of scotch by the bar.

“How dare you not invite me?!” I crossed my arms on my chest as I approached them, and then sat on the stool across Tony, leaning down and resting my chin on my forearm

“You’re just in time, Y/N.” Nat chuckled as she prepared a glass for me. I quickly took the glass and started emptying it.

Tony being Tony arched his brow at me, “What’s with the face Y/N? Tired of baby-sitting? Why don’t you just _sit on him instead?_ ”

I spit the drink in shock of what he said, face beet red as I scowled at him. Nat burst out laughing as Tony handed me some paper towels.

“Works every time, doesn’t it?” he added.

“You talk more random than duck shite sometimes!” I wiped my face and the table and shook my head, giggling softly.

As our laughter died down, I released a heavy sigh and swirled the ice on the glass, watching it slowly melt.

Tony cleared his throat which got my attention, “Honestly, Y/N, when you told me he was not in a good condition, I did not know it was this bad.”

“Hm. Me too.” Nat agreed, “Guess we were all shocked on how it ended, both with him and Clint.”

“Yeah. But I guess what’s important is that they’re here now.” I eyed them both, “What are we going to do once we pulled this off?”

“I am not certain we can pull this off.” Tony shrugged. “But like I said, I have to protect what I have now, at all cost.”

“Even I cannot comprehend it.” Nat uttered, rolling her eyes. “But I am willing to take the risk.”

“Yeah. Me, too.” I gave hopeful smile as I took a swig of the scotch.

Tony poured us another glass, then raised his towards us. Nat reached for my hand and smiled at me, and I squeezed her warm hand with mine, both our eyes filled with hope.

“To life.”

_With a clink of our glasses, Tony capped off the night, “I hope we all make it out alive.” He said._

\--

Thor waited for me to come back. When I entered the room, I saw him fresh from the shower, hair still dripping as he fixed the shirt he was wearing. Thor lifted his head to and smiled upon seeing me. I hadn’t seen that smile in a while and I knew that moment, I would do everything to keep it.

“Hey.” I went towards him, took the towel from the table as I did, and proceeded to dry his hair.

I stood in between his thigh from where he was perched so I can easily squeeze his long locks in the towel before brushing and detangling it carefully. It wasn’t long then when Thor lifted his head to look at me and gave me a shit-eating, cheeky smile.

“What?” I asked, arching a brow at him as I ran the brush through his hair.

He simply shook his head and slowly snaked his hands around my waist, pulling me closer as he rested his head on my tummy and hummed softly.

“You are such a big baby.” I chuckled.

“I saw you.”

“Huh?” I leaned back so I can look at him and narrowed my eyes.

“Around a year after I left you,” he paused to take one of my hands, “I was by the window when I saw a lady speaking with Brunnhilde.”

My heart raced, he really did see me. “And?”

“I was pretty sure it was you. I know your eyes too much.”

Thor reached towards my face, tucking a stray hair behind my ear, unshed tears filling his eyes. My heart increased its pace, as if I had just ran a marathon. There was no point in denying, then.

"Yeah. It was me."

"I knew it." he smiled up at me and pulled me by the nape, my face was only an inch away from his, and at this proximity, I felt his heart racing. 

"Y/N?"

"Yes?" I pulled away slowly, bracing myself with my forearms on his shoulder.

"How come you never gave up on me when I least deserve it?"

I didn't speak for a moment, instead, I gently graze his face with my knuckles. 

Finallly breaking the silence, I spoke. "I tried to let go, god of thunder. I tried a million times but failed a billion."

A soft, genuine smile made its way into his face. It was enough to melt my insides and so without second thoughts, I cupped his face and slowly leaned in closer. Just before I could hesitate, he tilted his chin and his lips met mine in a thankful kiss. 

_"I love you." He whispered. And that was enough for me._

_\--_


	15. Meant to Live Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting: Y/N and the whole team risk it all for their last shot at redemption. ♡

**_"_ ** **_Dreaming about providence_ **  
**_And whether mice or men have second tries_ **  
**_Maybe we've been livin' with our eyes half open_ **  
**_Maybe we're bent and broken, broken_ **

**_We were meant to live for so much more_ **   
**_Have we lost ourselves?_ **   
**_Somewhere we live inside_ **   
**_We were meant to live_ **

**_We want more than this world's got to offer_ **   
**_We want more than the wars of our fathers_ **   
**_And everything inside screams for second life"_ **

\--

A loud buzzing woke me up from my peaceful slumber. During the past five years, I used to wake up just before the sun rises and usually beat my alarm to it.

This time, however, I found it difficult just to even reach out to set my alarm off. The feeling I had was strange yet so familiar even after years of waking up alone. With a soft groan, I reached for my phone to switch my alarm off. Squinting my eye, I saw that it was around 6:00 am. I should've been in the kitchen making breakfast for the team.

It wasn't easy I needed to battle myself to be able to escape the comfort I was in that time. Just as I shifted, the god who was tangled with me grumbled and held me even closer. His warmth was enough to take me back to dreamland in a snap as he used his massive arms to turn my body to face him.

"Thor."

"Too early..." he groaned as he enclosed my frame in his, burying his face in my neck. I chuckled softly as his beard tickled my skin, causing shivers in my body.

"I have to get up." I mumbled.

"No."

Thor's arms tightened around me as he traced soft kisses on my skin. I finally surrendered.

"5 minutes." I huffed, running gentle strokes in the back of his head.

"10 minutes."

"Okay."

I smiled and closed my eyes, enjoying that quiet moment which I wanted to last forever. Thor definitely felt softer now, but beneath those extra skin, I can still feel his strong muscles. I palmed his arms, following its now soft contours. He was still the same god who can send a whole car flying with just one effortless throw, still the same person who can twist the wings of an airplane with his bare hands, still the same person who, despite how strong he is, held me like I am made out of porcelain.

"I never felt this good in a long time." he whispered, and I felt him smile against my skin.

_"We'll have plenty of this. I promise."_

It took a couple more minutes before Thor finally let me go, not without promising I'd cuddle with him longer next time. I guessed he needed that after a long time of feeling alone. _And I needed that, too._

I took a quick shower to wash the sleep away and just before I left, Thor had gone back to a peaceful sleep, buried in heaps of pillows. I kneeled on the bed and pressed a quick kiss on his forehead before opening the curtain so the sun can blind him awake.

\--

I walked in the large kitchen and inhaled the aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafting through the air and the soft sizzle of something cooking. _Ah, bacon of course._

"It's about time you get up!"

Nat scolded playfully, already preparing toasts for the team.

"Why are you up so early?" I yawned.

She eyed me, arching her brow. "Why are you late?"

"Well, the god of thunder is all fluff this morning."

I went straight to the fridge to take trays of eggs and started whisking them in a huge bowl.

Nat narrowed her eyes at me and watched me break my arm in doing so.

"What are you going to do with those eggs? It's not like we're feeding an army."

"Nat, Thor and Bruce is already an _army_."

I chuckled and put the whisk down to heat the pan. I was oblivious but when I turned, I saw Nat looking at me, a soft smile etched on her lips.

"Is there something wrong with me? Why are you looking at me like that?" I playfully threw an eggshell at her.

Nat let out a soft laugh. "You really are such a domesticated bitch, aren't ya?"

"No one would do this if we don't. Besides, I like cooking." I flicked the spatula like a wand and got back to busy myself in making the scrambled eggs when Nat suddenly spoke.

"Thank you, Y/N."

"For what?"

I looked behind me to see Nat walking towards me. She just shook her head and engulfed me in a hug.

"I wouldn't have survived the last five years without you."

Natasha was never the one to show her affection, so random moments like this one were always surprising yet special. My heart melted a little at the way she hugged me. We were practically sisters. Nat and I had become each other’s pillar throughout those five years.

I wrapped my arms around her and twisted her braid on my hand, "Me too, Nat. I would've lost my shit without you."

"That's sweet. Mind if I join?"

A sleepy voice from came behind and we both smiled.

"Too late, Steve."

Nat smirked but it did not stop the captain from walking towards us to give us both a hug. _Just like the old times._

_“We’ll always be a family.”_

\--

The team was able to prove that the quantum tunnel Tony created was working, all thanks to Clint's bravery. The team huddled in the meeting room for breakfast while discussing the stones they had to retrieve and when to retrieve it.

"Let's start with the Aether." Steve suggested, "Thor, what do you know?"

Everybody's eyes turned to Thor and got no response. The god was slumped on the chair in the corner, a can of beer in one hand. He had a pair of glasses on as he snored during the meeting.

"Is he asleep?" Nat queried.

"No. I am pretty sure he's dead." Rhodey shook his head as Y/N stood and kicked his leg, which shook Thor awake.

Y/N perched herself back in her chair as the god stood. The Avengers felt the tension as they knew Thor would have to speak about Jane in front of Y/N. And yes, the god did not disappoint.

"The Aether... First, it's not a stone, someone called it a stone before. It's more of a... an angry sludge sort of thing..." The god babbled, pausing to put some eyedrop in his lone eye. "...so someone's gonna need to amend that."

While Thor was talking about Jane and their old romance, Y/N stared daggers towards him. "Old flame, huh? Want me to set you on flames instead?"

"I am starting to feel bad for you, Y/N." Clint pat Y/N's back and chuckled softly at what she said.

She cocked her head and arched an eyebrow at him, cheeks flushed in slight embarrassment... for him. Tony eyed her and Y/N banged her head on the glass table as the god kept blabbering. Noticing Y/N losing her patience in babysitting the god, Bruce signalled to cut him off and Tony was helpful enough to stop Thor, which the later shrugged off.

"I am not done yet... the only thing permanent in life is impermanence and... Y/N." Thor pointed at Y/N which made her bang her head even harder on the table.

"Awesome! Eggs? Breakfast?" Tony asked, pulling him away.

"No. I would like a Bloody Mary." the god snickered.

"Oh, fucking kill me." she groaned under her breath.

\--

Throughout the whole day, the team discussed the perfect timelines and places to retrieve the stones. All of us were pretty drained just trying to understand the realms where the stones belonged.

Nat, Tony, and Bruce were sprawled on a table trying to figure out the exact place to get the time stone. All we knew then was Dr. Strange had it.

I slumped myself on the chair beside them, finally taking a bit of rest from the exhausting day. I slurped my 7th cup of coffee that day as I brainstormed with the team.

"Bruce is right. He lived in 117 Bleecker Street. Thor and I was there before." I yawned and rubbed my eyes, "if I remember correctly it's called the... Sanctum?"

"Wait, he lived in New York?" Nat asked which earned a nod from me and Bruce.

"Guys! If you pick the right year, there are three stones in New York."

We all shot a glance at Nat.

_"Shut the front door."_

\--

That night, the team had already decided how we'll go about the time heist. Steve assigned me to team up with Bruce as someone whom Strange could possibly trust. We did not know what to expect when we get back in time. It scared the shit out of us. It scared the shit out of me.

I could not bring myself to sleep that night, like the rest of the team, except for Thor who was knocked down as I let him gorge on sweets and alcohol that day. I reckoned it was better than him being triggered by every conversation about Thanos or those who died or the stones. We needed him sane. _Also, I just did not have the strength to bicker about it._

I needed some time alone to think through and process the time heist we'd have to be doing. It wasn't easy, especially that dreams about Thanos and his army started resurfacing. I hadn't had anyone to talk to about it. I couldn't let anyone lose hope.

I sat by the dock in the back of the facility, craving its solitude before we faced another insane adventure. I always found this place a source of comfort ever since I left my house to officially live in the facility with Nat and the others.

I slowly let my feet down, and as my toes kissed the cold water, shivers filled my body. I watched the ripples of the waters, humming softly to soothe the storm inside me.

"I knew you'd be here." Steve cleared his throat, his slows steps towards me and each slow step caused the floor to creak.

"Hmm. How did you find me?"

"I just felt you needed someone to talk to. You have this gloomy aura since this morning."

I just smiled softly as Steve sat beside me and dipped his toes in the water as well. I swallowed softly, battling myself on whether I'd let him know about my visions.

I sighed, "Steve, I have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"Thanos..." I turned my heads towards him and noticed his jaw tightened, "I've been seeing him again. In my dreams... like before."

"What?" His face turned into a frown.

"I've seen it before the battle in Wakanda... and now I am seeing it again. This might tell us something."

"How? I mean... Thor literally chopped his head off."

"Yes. But we are messing with time, Steven!" I hushed, voice cracking as lump of tears filled my throat. "I just... we are working with his daughter... and we're going back to the time where he is looking for the stones as well..."

"Nebula? Are you doubting her?"

I shook my head and clenched my fist, "I just keep seeing her, too."

Steve wrapped an arm around me, squeezing my arms to comfort me. "Then we have to be ready to suit up."

I went back to my room half past midnight to a sleeping god of thunder. I went back to bed and crawled under the sheet, careful not to wake him. It wasn't long when I felt his hand snaking in my middle as he pulled me towards him and spooned me.

"Hey." he breathed against the back of my head

"Hey... go back to sleep." I closed my eyes as he laced our fingers together.

"We got a lot to figure out after all these, don’t we?"

I nodded softly, "Yeah. Yeah, we do. And we will…"

" _Together_."

\--

I did not really sleep that night. I was still wide awake in the darkest of dawn, before the sun peeked through the horizon. Thor decided to be helpful for once and assisted me in the kitchen, which I could never refuse. _It could be our last._

“Do you think I can do it?” he asked, his voice trembling slightly.

I went towards him with a cup of coffee and held his shaking hands. “You can do it. Asgard is your home. This might be a good way to remember who you truly are, god of thunder.”

Thor’s lone blue eyes were filled with tears which I gently wiped away. He took my hand towards his lips and pressed kisses on my knuckles before he cupped my face and pressed our foreheads together. It was a conversation without words, and I was used to it. Thor leaned in and claimed my lips in a searing kiss which I gladly returned, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“You gotta stop making out in public, guys.” Tony clicked his tongue and poured himself some coffee, completely ruining the moment.

Thor just pulled away and chuckled softly before emptying the cup I gave him.

“Did you sleep last night?” I asked Tony, remembering he went missing just before dinner, “I thought you chickened out.”

“Almost.” he shrugged, “I went home. Pep and Morgan needed me. The kid love and miss me 3000.”

I gave him a genuine smile. I knew Tony all my life and I also knew him when he was scared or anxious. This time, he was. But he was willing to risk everything for Morgan’s future, willing to put his life on the line. Like all of us.

\---

_“Five years ago, we lost. All of us. We lost friends. We lost family. We lost a part of ourselves. Today, we have a chance to take it all back. You know your teams, you know your missions. Get the stones, get them back. One round trip each. No mistakes. No do-overs. Most of us are going somewhere we know, that doesn’t mean we should know what to expect. Be careful. Look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives. And we’re going to win. Whatever it takes. Good luck.”_

The captain had finally given his last pep-talk before we go. I shot a last glance at everyone, giving them a knowing look. We were all hopeful.

“See you in a minute.” Nat said cheerfully.

“Stay alive.”

Thor held my hand tight and gave me a nod before he finally let go the second before we immersed in the quantum tunnel and in a snap, was back in New York, year 2012.

“Oh gosh. This is all too familiar.” I groaned as I noticed the portal open and the Chitauris coming in uninvited, “I should’ve suited up.”

I took a few steps from where we were, and saw the team huddled between the buildings. All six of them – Steve, Tony, Nat, Clint, Bruce, and of course – Thor.

“Gods, he was so hot!” I mumbled, slack-jawed at the god of thunder’s full glory, before I got pulled back by Tony.

“Yeah. You already got some of that.” He teased, “a lot, I guess.” I punched him playfully before Steve started giving orders. Bruce did try to smash some things, but he wasn’t as brutal as the Hulk. I did not care, though.

“Come on, Bruce. We need to get to Strange. ASAP.” He nodded at me, and I prepared to set myself flying as he leapt towards the Sanctum.

“I’ll send my signal when it’s time for you to come.” He murmured as he left me in one of the rooftops before he took the final leap towards Dr. Strange’s building.

Bruce did not need to give me signal, because just as he landed on the sanctum, a sorceress approached him. It was not Strange, and before I could even react, I saw the woman set Bruce’s body tumbling down as his soul separated from him. I was shocked at how possible it was, but then again, it’s magic.

I closed my eyes and willed fire to cover me as I jumped towards the building. I gasped as I landed silently towards the roof, behind the lady who was still arguing with Bruce.

“Let’s start over, shall we?” The lady told Bruce and I gave Bruce a nod.

“Yes. Let’s start over.”

The sorceress turned, her pale face and strong eyes softened upon seeing me.

“I bet you know me.”

“Daughter of Freyja.” She muttered, and I nodded and walked towards her.

“Yes. I am.”

“Sorry I can’t help you.” The lady started waking away from us and Bruce followed him, with me trailing behind.

Bruce and the lady started discussing the Stone and I noticed how the lady looked at Bruce. She knew something, too.

“It seems like you’re living out the most important part. In order to return the stones, you have to survive.”

“We will, I will. I promise.” Bruce muttered.

“I can’t risk this reality on a promise. It’s the duty of the Sorcerer Supreme to protect the time stone.” The lady retorted, shaking her head.

“and why the hell did Strange give it away?”

“Willingly?” she questioned.

“Yes!”

“Why?” The lady’s face got even paler.

I knew this was the right time. That was the time for my vision to make sense.

“I’ve seen it!” I blurted. “Strange did, too, I know.”

“What do you mean?” The lady asked me, eyes sharp as an eagle.

“You can see the future, as I can. I’ve foreseen it. And I saw him coming again… The one who sent this attack.” I pointed at the Chitauris and the portal. I gulped but did not falter at her gaze. Beside me, Bruce was shaking his head at what he heard.

“How can I trust you?”

“You told me so yourself, I am a Freyja’s daughter. Freyja was a volva, she used _magic_ to see the future, like you do. My visions come as warnings, I know. You use magic to protect the stone, to protect the reality. We can use it to protect the future, too.”

The lady did not speak, instead, she nodded and summoned Bruce’s body and merged it with his soul. Then, she opened her necklace to reveal the time stone and showed it to Bruce.

“Strange is meant to be the best of us.”

“So, he must’ve done it for a reason.” Bruce said.

“I fear you might be right.” The lady’s voice trembled as she placed the stone in Bruce’s hand. “I am counting on you, Bruce. We all are.”

“Thank you.” I walked towards the lady before signalling so we can get back through the quantum tunnel.

“Y/N.” the lady called me, “…unleash your power. Don’t hold it back.”

“I will.” I nodded and smiled at her.

Bruce and I suited up, and in one click, were back in the facility with the others.

My eyes scanned to see whether we were complete -- Thor was back with his Mjolnir and Rocket with the Aether, Scott had the sceptre, Tony and Steve with the Tesseract, Rhodey and Nebula with the Power stone, and Clint… _only Clint._

Clint fell on his knees, hand clutching the glowing soul stone, tears streaming down his face.

“Clint?” my whole body trembled as I walked towards him.

“Where’s Nat? Clint, where’s Nat?!”

His answer was simple, he cried. And then, we knew it. It was a sacrifice. For a moment, I lost my senses, my world turned black as I fell on my knees in defeat.

\--

I got no tears left to cry any more, but the heart wrenching pain was still very much killing me. _Natasha._

I sat on the kitchen where we last had our breakfast, and last moment with Steve. In hope to release everything, I threw a couple of glass on the wall, shattering it to pieces. A part of me was gone with Natasha. With my remaining strength, I slid down by the counter, clutching Nat’s favourite mug on my chest as I cried whatever energy left of me. No one dared to comfort me. They knew I needed time to process everything.

Steve entered the room after the five of them discussed what happened and he knelt before me, shoving the broken shards of glass away from me. He enclosed me in a hug, and I lost it again. I clutched on his shirt tight enough to wrinkle it as we mourned our loss.

“We have to make it worth it, Steve. No matter what.”

_“We will. For Nat.”_

\--

I was in my room almost the whole day just trying to bring myself to calm despite what happened. Thor’s attempt to console me worked a little, and I was grateful.

“I saw my mom...” He said as he cradled my frame in the bed when he came in to bring me food and water. He told me stories of what his mother told him. I knew there was no one who could bring him to repair himself but his mother. And despite my pain of losing Nat, I was genuinely happy for him. 

“Yeah? and you got Mjolnir back.” I croaked softly as I nuzzled closer to him and he nodded, brushing my hair softly.

"Natasha did sacrifice her life for the stone. She wouldn't want you to sulk like this." Thor tilted my head and caressed my cheek. 

"You're right." I sighed before pulling him towards me, pressing our lips together.

Thor smiled against the kiss before holding me tight letting me sleep my tears away, "I am with you. Always." 

The team had started working on the glove that we’d use to snap and bring everybody back. Meanwhile, I finally mustered my strength and busied myself preparing my suit again. I was fucking ready to kill whoever stands in our way. With Steve’s update that the glove was ready, I suit up and went to the lab to join the guys.

“Let me do it… just let me do something good. Something right.” I heard Thor begging Tony as the man tried to stop him from wearing the glove.

“Look, it’s not just the fact that that glove is channelling every energy to light up the continent, I’m telling you, you’re in no condition.” Tony’s voice was stern as he held him off.

“What do you think is coursing through my veins right now?”

“Cheez Whiz?” Rhodey sarcastically remarked which made me throw a sharp glance at him just as I entered the room all suited up.

I gave Tony a soft smile and placed my hand on Thor’s arm in an attempt to pull-him back.

“Lightning.” He insisted so I placed myself between him in Tony to push him away.

“Please, Thor.” I begged, placing both my hands on his chest to ease him down.

“Lightning won’t help you, pal. It’s gotta be me.” Bruce spoke sullenly. “You know what those stones did to Thanos? It almost killed him. None of you could survive.”

"How do we know you will?"

"We don't, but the radiation is mostly gamma. It's like I..." he paused, "I was made for this."

My heart raced in worry for Bruce, and in anticipation on whether it would work or not. 

"I see you suited up." Tony gave me a hopeful smile as I lined up with the team.

My eyes darted to each one in the room. "Where's Nebula?" My gaze fell to Steve, but it was too late. Tony already ordered Friday to activate the barn door protocol before Bruce wore the glove. Thor pulled me closer and stood in front of me and Rocket to shield us. 

"Everybody comes home." Bruce murmured then painstakingly wore the glove. I saw every bit of energy from the stones running towards his arms. 

Bruce struggled to raise his arms but mustered all his remaining strength to snap his fingers before collapsing.

Just as the glove fell from his hand, the guys walked towards him for rescue. 

"No... Nebula!" I sneered as I saw a familiar ship through the glass ceiling and before we could even react, massive explosions blew the facility down.

\--

"Y/N? Y/N?!" 

I slowly regained consciousness as I heard Thor call my name but it was still a blur. I was in total darkness and I was scared that I completely lost my sight already. A loud, static noise finally woke me up and I coughed heavily while I tried to gasp for air.

"Y/N! Where are you?!" Tony asked through our intercomm, "Y/N!"

"I'm okay... I am okay. Go. I'll be okay." I breathed out, pushing away the debris that pinned me on the ground.

_I was far from okay._

I was trampled beneath a huge pillar as water started rising around me. And I could not see anything. I forced to free myself from the debris but one of my hands were stuck underneath as more bricks started falling around me. 

It wasn't long when I was already gagging blind as the water drowned me while my whole body was stuck. _I could not let this kill me._

I struggled and lifted my upper body and took a deep breath before being plunged back. I needed a source of light, so I put one of my hands up and created a ball of fire to hopefully aid me.

With enough source of light, I finally saw an escape. I removed bricks on my chest at lifted my body off so the only hindrance was the pillar on my legs. I screamed in agony as I blasted it with fire enough to crush it and force it off my legs. It did not do much as more and more debris started burying me alive underneath. I _was going to die. I was sure of it_.

\--

Outside, Thor, Steve, and Tony was already battling Thanos. He knew it. He knew they collected the stone.

The three teamed to beat Thanos but the titan was powerful. He got Thor trampled on a rock as he tried to bury Stormbreaker in his chest, until Mjolnir came flying towards him.

"I knew it!" Thor marveled before Thanos kicked him to battle the one who wielded the hammer -- Steve.

After another bout, Steve ended up on the ground as Thanos summoned his army. Thanos continued his threats of eradicating humanity for his own selfish ambition, but the Captain was stronger.

With his broken shield and wounded body, he rose. And like all impossible things, he heard someone through his earpiece.

"Cap..." the line went static, "Cap, it's Sam. Can you hear me?" 

Steve's brows furrowed in confusion as he tried to see where the sound came from. 

"On your left." And with that, a soft glow of light opened a portal beneath him. Steve's eyes filled with tears as T'Challa, Shuri, and Okoye emerged from Wakanda along with their army. The falcon flew from the portal as the Wakandans chanted their battlecry.

One by one, portals started opening to reveal those they lost, very much alive and ready to win the battle. 

Thor regained his consciousness and summoned Stormbreaker. The god of Thunder rekindled his fire for this battle as he saw the Asgardians standing with him. 

Tony was dumbfounded with joy as he saw Peter alive with Dr. Strange and the guardians who vanished in space. And to surprise him even more, Pepper landed on the battlefield, donned in the Rescue armor. 

The final members of the team emerged as Scott used his ability to rescue them, this time, as the big guy. 

Thor's heart raced when he realized Y/N was nowhere, but as if on cue, the daughter of Freyja arose from the ashes and the ruins, tendrils and rings of flames surrounded her as she ascended higher and landed beside Thor. 

Thor smiled at Y/N, his eyes filled with pride as they stood together once more to fight and prove that they were meant to live for so much more.

Everyone was in their fighting stance. Thor held out his hands towards Y/N which she took as they leapt towards the team.

"Avengers!" The Captain started as Thor and Y/N landed beside him in the front line and as Mjolnir reached his hand.

_"Assemble!"_

\--


	16. Meant to Live - Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting: The ultimate fight for redemption. ♡

" ** _Fumbling his confidence_**  
 ** _And wondering why the world has passed him by_**  
 ** _Hoping that he's bent for more than arguments,_**  
 ** _And failed attempts to fly, fly_**

**_Dreaming about providence_ **   
**_And whether mice or men have second tries_ **   
**_Maybe we've been livin' with our eyes half open_ **   
**_Maybe we're bent and broken, broken_ **

**_We want more than this world's got to offer_ **   
**_We want more than this world's got to offer_ **   
**_We want more than the wars of our fathers_ **   
**_And everything inside screams for second life_ **

**_We were meant to live for so much more_ **   
**_Have we lost ourselves?_ **   
**_We were meant to live for so much more_ **   
**_Have we lost ourselves?_ **   
**_Somewhere we live inside_ **

**_We were meant to live"_ **

**_\--_ **

_I was buried alive in the deepest of rubbles. My feet were stuck underneath a huge pillar and not even a single glint of light from the outside can be seen. The air was already running thin and my lungs started to burn as I tried to breathe._

_"So, this was it." I thought, fumbling with my confidence at that very moment. If I did not make it alive, I hoped they will._

_"Y/N? Where are you?" My earpiece crackled._

_"Clint?"_

_"Y/N. Whe--- y--?"_

_"I can't hear you. I am losing you." I uttered, trying to suppress the air that remains._

_The static muffled Clint's voice. He was saying something, but it was impossible to understand as I lost signal. His voice kept fading and it was a struggle to hear him amidst the rushing flow of water and debris that kept trapping me._

_"Take care of them..." I closed my eyes and tried to accept my fate._

_Death. I was sure of it. They used to say that in your final moment, you relive all the best memories you had. I guess it was true... but not for me. Instead of reminiscing the beautiful memories I had, I heard voices in my head. Voices all too familiar saying the same things over and over again._

_"You're stronger than you think."_

_"You're more than a mere Midgardian."_

_"You're Freyja's daughter."_

_"You're not easily killed."_

_"Don't hold back!"_

_"Unleash your power, Y/N."_

_"Fire is power!"_

_"Fire is power!"_

_"Fire is power!"_

_Darkness surrounded me as the faint glow of the fireball I created vanished. I let go. I knew this was it, but the voices did not stop. Then I heard it -- a distinct of voice of a woman I did not recognize at first but was sure of hearing it somewhere. It was as if the voice was inscribed in the back of my mind, like a whisper of a woman to her child. The only memory I had of her._

_"You are meant to live, my child. Rise from the ruins and the ashes."_

_My tears fell. "Freyja...Mother..."_

_As her name escaped my lips in a hushed plea, the necklace she gave me filled the darkness with blinding light._

_Shivers ran down my spine as scorching energy and massive adrenaline coursed through me, enough to boil my bloodstreams. My body felt like embers igniting a wildfire causing me to release an unearthly, ear-splitting wail while I combust and endure whatever power was surging through me._

_My uproarious scream moved and destroyed the debris crushing me as intense, blazing arcs of blue and amber fires burst forth from my body. That was when I noticed that I was completely floating off the ground, enclosed in the tendrils and rings of flames surrounding me in circles._

_Mustering enough strength, I released strong, huge streams of flames to propel myself up, through and out of the ruins, leaving behind a trail of fire and ashes._

_Upon freeing myself from the ruins, I saw the people who vanished -- now very much alive and ready to fight with us again. We did it. They were back, and so was Thanos. This was it, this was our final battle._

_A soft smirk formed in my lips as I glanced towards the Asgardians who joined us for this fight. The familiar faces looked up at me before turning their heads down in a curt bow before going back to their fighting stance. Brunnhilde gave me a knowing, confident nod as she fulfilled her promise to fight with us._

_Then my eyes landed on Thor. The god of thunder was back in his glory, a proud smile painted his face as his eyes fell upon me. He reached out to summon Stormbreaker and I ascended higher and landed beside him._ _He gave me his affectionate gaze and reached out his hand towards me._

_"Together?"_

_I stared back at his electric blue eye and held his hand, freeing myself from the shackles of fear and uncertainties._

_"Together."_

_\--_

"Avengers!" Steve called as Mjolnir flew towards him. I was in awe that Steve finally wielded the Mjolnir.

Thor and I landed beside him on the front line, and I darted sharp stares at the enemies. The others took their fighting stance as we wait for Steve's final signal. I knew that Thanos was threatened. _He must be, because this time, there was no holding back._

"Assemble!"

Thor and I looked at each other before he led the battle cry as we sprinted towards the enemy. This was different. I felt more powerful with nothing but fire and my dagger as weapons. During the battle in Wakanda, I struggled with every move I made. This time, with the raging fire inside me, I was hundred percent certain of why I was fighting.

With sure, calculated moves, I propelled myself towards Thanos' army and set as much of them as I could ablaze. Thor and I fought side by side. Every strike of his lightning intertwined with my blazing fire, creating violent flurries and warding off the enemies. _Fire and lightning – always lethal._

With streams of flames, I set myself soaring and blasted as many ships as I could, then burning the enemies below with a pressurized ball of fire.

"That's amazing, Y/N. Keep it coming!" Tony marvelled through the intercom device.

"This is fucking tiring!"

"Y/N?" I heard him as he landed to the clear ground, so I followed him.

I panted for air as I walked toward him, "Yes?"

"We'll live through it, yea?" Tony removed his helmet and gave me his signature smile.

"We will, Tony. We will."

I nodded at him before he shot an outrider behind me which took my attention back to the battle. I set the perimeters in flames to slow down the armies closing in as we both prepared to fight again.

"I am very proud of you, Y/N."

I smiled at him, "Thank you, Tony. You just don't know how proud I am of you. I really am."

The man walked towards me and hugged me tight before pulling away, "Enough drama. Let's kill this motherfucker."

\--

I sent jabs of fire toward Thanos' army when I saw T'Challa struggling to protect the stones from being taken. I noticed the king tumbled down as Thanos threw his double-edge sword towards him. I wanted to help but there were far too many creatures on my way.

"The Black Panther needs help!" I called out.

"I am on it." A strong, stern voice said, making me smirk.

"You go, girl!" I breathed out once I saw her holding Thanos off. I had faith in her, and I knew she was powerful enough to kill him. _Wanda._

More and more creatures kept chasing the T’Challa, so I focused on attacking them with whirling disks of flames to help the king.

"Fuck!"

As I fended of the creatures running towards my direction, my eyes landed on the Rat Face who was summoning the gauntlet by controlling the ground. I grunted and started shooting long streams of fire to the Rat Face, attempting to set him off.

_Then, it started to rain fire._

_\--_

_"_ Take cover!" I warned as missiles of fire from Thanos' ship started to fall on the battleground. It was an obvious advantage as it toppled majority of us including Wanda.

“Think, Y/N. Think!” I cursed myself.

One by one, the Masters of Mystic Arts started bending their magic to create barriers to protect the others from the raining fire. That’s when I had the idea.

“Like dissolves like.”

I summoned tendrils of fire to cover and lift me off the ground and with outstretched arms, conjured a massive, thick wall of concentrated blue flames to absorb and deflect the attacks from Thanos' ship.

It took every bit of energy from me to conjure the wall of flames. Another massive surge of adrenaline coursed through me as I tried to keep the flames up longer. I was unsure of what was happening beyond the wall as I kept laser-focus, so the flames won't collapse. Like a miracle, the explosions halted.

“FRIDAY, what are they firing at?” asked Tony.

_“Something just entered the upper atmosphere.”_

I rose over the wall of flames and saw Thanos’ ship exploding. As Carol took care of the ship, I gave a signal to those behind the wall then I slowly compressed the flames into a huge ball and threw it towards the remaining ships he had.

“It’s showtime, ladies!” I alerted the others as flew towards Peter and Carol.

“I… I don’t know how you are going to get through all of that.” Peter stuttered, giving the stones to Carol. The poor boy was all bruised and bloody, so I slowly pulled him back.

“Don’t worry.” Wanda assured Peter as she landed beside us.

“She’s got help.”

One by one, Brunnhilde, Okoye, Shuri, Pepper, and the other ladies started assembling to help Carol secure the stones by withstanding Thanos’ children and armies who were already darting towards us.

“I call dibs on the bitch…” I sneered, wielding a dagger in one hand and fire with the other. “…for Nat.”

We charged towards the enemies with renewed strength and vigour. All of us had something to fight for.

I summoned a barrage of fire to mount my defence and struck a fatal blow to their troops, running to get close enough to the awful alien lady, _Proxima Midnight._

She charged fire towards me which I deflected and absorbed using my own shield of fire before I quickly redirected it as whips of fire to knock her off her feet and keep her off balance. _I am going to set this bitch on fire._

As she scrambled towards me, I managed to kick her face, but her size was an obvious advantage. The lady was able to yank me by my leg and pinned me to the ground.

“You will never win.” she hissed, before lifting her spear to stab me but just before her blades penetrated my suit, I had my dagger buried through her chest.

“Bitch, you thought.” I growled, twisting the dagger as I swiftly rolled us over and grasped her throat to strangle her with one of my knees crushing her middle. It was an awful sight to behold, but I was far too livid to care.

“Remember this face…” I tightened my grip on her neck, “…as you feel every inch of your body burn to ashes.”

I stared at her soulless eyes, placing a hand on her forehead as I controlled fire to burn her from the inside out, willing her bloodstreams to surge into magmatic heat. I watched fire burning through her veins as she writhed in pain and her insides ignited in flames.

I got up to my feet to help the others fend the troops off when a massive blast tossed me through the air and towards yet another huge pile of rubbles. _I felt my bones breaking and blood oozing from my head, then darkness filled my vision._

\--

** Stephen Strange **

The others were down, and there was only one that remained capable – _Tony._ He was our last and only chance. He had always been. Everything that transpired before was bound to this moment.

Fighting my conscience, I turned and locked my gaze towards him. With trembling hand, I raised one finger, signalling this is the one out of 14 million chance that we’ll win. He knew it, then. I saw determination and fire in his eyes to make it happen.

Tony charged towards Thanos in a final duel, struggling to take the gauntlet off him before Thanos kicked and hurled him to the ground again.

“I am inevitable.” The titan smirked and raised his hand to snap, but nothing happened.

 _This was it._ I held my breath as I witnessed Tony attaching the stones in his suit, the energy of it firing up the man who made the ultimate sacrifice for us.

_“And I… am… Iron Man!” With his remaining bit of strength, Tony raised his hand and snapped his fingers._

* * *

“My love… wake up…” I heard Thor’s voice coaxing me awake as he held me up. I gasped for air as I regained consciousness and clambered to my feet, slack-jawed as I saw Thanos’ troop reduced to ashes.

“H-How?”

I was relieved that we won yet afraid that my dream was right, that one of us did the ultimate sacrifice for us to live. I did not know who just yet. Thor encircled my middle in a strong grip as he steadied me to my feet before he turned my frame to the one who won the war for us. My world stopped.

_Tony._

“N-no! T-tony!” I broke free from Thor’s grip in an anguished cry and staggered to my feet towards him.

“Tony...” I sank on my knees beside him, struggling to keep my tears silent. I begged all the gods to save him. The pain was heart-wrenching and I did not know how else will I survive if I ever lose him as well.

“FRIDAY?” asked Pepper.

_“Life function’s critical.”_

“Tony…look at me.” I heard Pepper say, her lips quivering as she tried to hold back her tears. “We’re gonna be okay. You can rest now.”

Tony took his last gaze at me and then to Pepper, the light in his chest completely fading as he drew his last breath.

\--

Steve, Thor, Clint, and Bruce wept silently as they watched their friend die before their eyes. Yet another sacrifice so they all could live. Clint could not help but go down on his knee in reverence of Tony’s sacrifice. The others followed suit, honouring the life lost for a life given to them.

Grief was evident in their eyes, but nothing could ever surpass Y/N’s. The pain coursing through every being was as palpable as the gusts of a devastating wildfire. Her gasping wails echoed as she clasped Tony’s hand, mourning the death of the only person she ever had since the beginning, _her brother._

“Y/N,” Pepper enclosed Y/N’s trembling frame in her arms, “Everything’s going to be okay.”

Pepper held Y/N until her energy waned and her wails turned into silent tears.

“I’ll be fine…” Y/N breathed, as Pepper stood once their friends and agents from SHIELD came for rescue. Pepper let Y/N stay beside Tony’s body while the authorities arrive.

Numbness was eating her whole as she stared blankly at Tony’s body, ignoring the excruciating pain from her own injuries. Seeing Y/N seemingly calmed down, Thor approached and kneeled before her, taking her hand in his.

“We have to go, my lady.”

“O-okay…” Y/N croaked. As Y/N stood with Thor’s help, her body finally gave in and collapsed in his arms.

\--

_Everybody wants a happy ending, right? But it doesn't always roll that way. Maybe this time. I'm hoping if you play this back... it's in celebration. I hope families are reunited. I hope we get it back, in somewhat like a normal version of the planet has been restored, if there ever was such a thing._

_God, what a world. Universe now. If you told me 10 years ago that we weren't alone, let alone you know to this extent... I mean, I wouldn't have been surprised. But come on, you know. That epic forces of darkness and light that have come into play. And for better or worse, that's the reality Morgan's going to find a way to grow up in. So I found a private area to record a little greeting in case of an untimely death on my part. Not that death at any time is ever timely._

_This time travel thing that we are going to pull off tomorrow... it's got me scratching my head about the survivability of all this. But then again that's the hero gig. Part of the journey is the end. What am I tripping for? Everything is going to work out exactly the way it's supposed to._

_I love you 3000._

I thought there were no more tears left to cry. But as we watched Tony's message on the day of his funeral, my floodgates had been reopened. 

Tony wanted us to live and he sacrificed everything so Morgan can live in a better world. The man who had always chosen life gave his own for the sake of others.

As we honoured Tony's life in the funeral, I knew all of us would then strive to make this second life worth living. 

After the ceremony, I decided to take a walk alone. I needed to process everything. My mind still could not grasp the fact that I would no longer receive random phone calls from Tony, or hear his laugh, or endure his ego. He was my brother, and like what Nat did, he took a huge part of me with him. 

I let my tears fall again, holding one of his helmets in my chest, hoping he knew how much I love him. 

\--

I sat in the dinner table with a couple of friends who decided stay with me and Pepper that night. It wasn't the same without Tony and Nat but we were relieved that we still had each other, and that we'd remain as family. 

"Tony and Nat always believed that we are meant to live for so much more. We owe it to them to do so." Bruce muttered, raising a glass in honour of those lives we lost. 

We all lifted our glasses in celebration of those lives who sacrificed and those lives who gained this second chance. 

"We will." Pepper nodded, "To life..."

The dinner ended and only few friends remained in the wee hours of night. I stood by the front porch, savouring the cold wind and filling my lungs as much as possible, as if I've never stopped heaving. 

I pondered how we'll start over after everything that had happened. The universe had its way of offering us the worst pain and leaving the deepest scars. But now, I started to realize that they were reminders that we survived to live and not lose ourselves again.

_And in order for us to live, we must first learn to breathe._

\--


	17. Learning to Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Y/N, Thor, and the rest of the team started to make choices on how they’d face another shot at life given to them. ♥

_**“Hello, good morning, how you do?**  
 **What makes your rising sun so new?**  
 **I could use a fresh beginning, too**  
 **All of my regrets are nothing new**  
 **So this is a way, that I say I need you** _

**_Hello, good morning, how you been?  
Yesterday left my head kicked in  
I never, never thought that  
I would fall like that  
Never knew that I could hurt this bad_ **

**_This is a way that I say I need you  
This is a way that I say I love you  
This is a way that I say I'm yours  
This is the way_ **

**_I'm learning to breathe  
I'm learning to crawl  
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall  
I'm living again, awake and alive  
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies”_ **

\--

Without the Avenger Facility, the responsibility of hosting those who remained fell upon me. I opened my old house to several Avengers, some friends and new faces alike. Rocket also asked whether the Guardians could stay for a while just so they'd have enough time to fix their ship. I gladly took them in, fed them, and welcomed them to my home. It was one way of giving back.

At night, I still mourned and wept over my losses. Grief, I reckoned, doesn't really leave. Nightmares haunted me every night, and like clockwork, I felt Thor's arms wrapping around me, enclosing me in a warm embrace and assuring me that things are going to be okay. We were both broken, still. But pain, like love, is a thing to be shared.

\--

"I heard Rocket asked you whether you'd like to join them?" I asked Thor as we stood by the dock outside Tony's house when we visited a week after his death.

Thor nodded, "Yes, my lady. But I don't know just yet."

"Well, do you want to come with them?"

Thor did not answer, instead, he turned to me and cupped my face. "I cannot leave you again."

"Thor, listen to me." I gulped, my heart racing as I placed my hand on top of his.

I had been thinking for a long time about how unfair I had become during the past five years. I was stubborn and never gave him up when I did not even know whether he still wanted me. This time, I knew that for us to fully live again, we should start learning to breathe on our own. Even it if meant having to part ways again. 

"What is it, my lady?"

"We both need time to heal, don't you think?" I glanced at him and looked straight into his single blue eye. Thor tightened his grip on my other hand and narrowed his eyes on me. His gaze was always so intense, akin to lightning striking at a vast, blue ocean, and I felt like I could swim in their depths.

"W-why? W-hat do you mean, Y/N?"

"Thor, I looked back on the past five years and learned how selfish I have become just to keep you." I felt tears welled in my eyes, "I did not give you much choice, did I?"

"I never wanted you to give up, Y/N." Thor shook his head, his voice low and sullen. "You kept me alive all those years."

"Yeah? But you lost yourself because of it." I bit my trembling lip, "I am giving you a choice now, Thor. Live your life. You could use fresh beginning, too."

"A-are y-you breaking up with me?" He craned his head, pursed his lips, and clicked his tongue. He shook his head frantically. "No. No, Y/N. I refuse."

I chuckled and wiped the tears that escaped, "Come on, Thor! We're too old for breakups."

"Then what do you mean?"

"I know it got you thinking... whatever your mother told you about. That you need to find yourself and find who you truly are. Maybe this is it, Thor. I know you want to come with them and maybe find yourself out there in the process."

"You may be right. But... what about you?"

"I'll just... be here." I gave him a reassuring smile then turned my gaze to the serene view of the lake. "I am not going to hold you back anymore."

At that moment, I knew it would be for the best. It still hurt to think he'd leave again, but this time, I was letting him go freely. I wanted him to tell me he'd stay. I fought myself from begging him to choose to stay. But it wasn't right. It was high time for both of us to rebuild ourselves from our losses.

Thor sniffled and quietly looped an arm around me, tugging me closer to him. Slowly, I felt him place a soft kiss on the top of my head before he completely engulfed me in his comforting embrace. I encircled my arms around him as he buried his face on my neck, my stomach fluttering at the way he traced soft circles in my back.

"I won't let you wait for me... but I promise I'll come back no matter what. Better. Stronger. More worthy." he whispered against my skin before he squeezed me tighter. I breathed him in, my soul resting as I sank into his warmth.

"We both have waited for five years... I guess a couple more won't hurt." I mumbled, pulling away reluctantly to look into his eyes.

Thor cupped my cheek and brushed the stray hairs off my face. "One day, I know we'd grow tired of the long road and roll back into each other. I will. I am certain that I will."

"Yeah. I know. You won't get rid of me easily."

"I know. I am irresistible, my lady." Thor let out a soft laugh which made me punch him playfully.

Thor fixed his eyes on me and with his hand clasping the back of my head, captured my lips in a gentle, passionate kiss which will forever be embedded in me.

"I love you, Y/N."

"I love you."

\--

The tasks we had did not finish with Thanos' demise. We needed to get the stones back to where they belonged, it was the only way to ensure that the reality would be protected.

For a couple of days, Bruce and the team had started to create another quantum tunnel through a makeshift lab using both Bruce and Tony's equipment. Nick was kind enough to provide us aid since the facility got destroyed. It was a serious quest the Captain had to fulfil, but there were no doubts he'd succeed. We all felt that it could've been the final chapter for us to close this crazy journey and open up a new one.

The morning before Steve left, I had made the team a hearty breakfast. It had become a habit for me since Thor left with the guardians. I was busy preparing a full course breakfast when I heard someone yawning behind me. 

"Hey Steve." I greeted, looking back at the man. 

He sat on the stool and smiled at me, "Morning, Y/N."

There was something about his voice that sounded a bit different. Despite his smile, his voive was stone-cold. I thought it might've been the nerves because unlike before, he had to do this one on his own.

"How long would he be gone?" asked Steve, obviously referring to Thor who had left with the Guardians. 

I shrugged, "I don't know. I just let him be... we both need this."

"Who's going to look after you when I am not around?"

I wiped my hands with some paper towels before sitting across Steve who was watching me intently.

"Why are you talking as if you are leaving for good? Bruce told me it'd be only for five seconds." I chuckled.

Steve just smiled at me which made my heart race in uncertainty, but before I could even probe, the others had already joined us for breakfast. Steve helped me in serving the meal and I guessed he noticed something was off. While I was alone in the kitchen putting away the dishes, he took the opportunity to speak with me.

"Y/N? Is everything alright?" he queried, taking a plate from my shaking hands.

I was anxious. I had already lost Nat and Tony, and Thor's away for god knows how long. Steve was the only person I had left during that time. He was the only person who could embrace my vulnerability as I tried to remain strong for both Morgan and Pepper who needed my support.

"Yea... I just.... guess I am just sleepy." I stuttered, leaning back on the counter.

Steve shook his head and pat my back, "Come here."

He spread out his arms and I willingly wrapped my arms around him as he held me. "Thank you for everything, Y/N."

I somehow knew what could happen, but I did not speak. I just held him tight for a few minutes before pulling away. "We better get ready."

We arrived in the makeshift lab outside the facility and did the last stretch of planning and preparation. Once everything was set up, Sam and Bucky joined us to send the Captain off for his adventure.

Steve bid goodbye to both Bucky and Sam, giving them both a hug before he turned towards me.

"Nothing reckless, Y/N. Promise me." he ordered, squeezing my arm.

"Be safe." I croaked as he pulled me into another lingering hug, and then pressed a kiss on my forehead.

I watched Steve vanish through the quantum tunnel with the stones and Mjolnir, and held my breath as he did so.

"...returning in five...four...three...two..." Bruce announced.

My eyes sharply stared at the machine, ready to welcome him back.

"One."

_Nothing. No sign of Steve._

"Where is he?" Sam asked Bruce, panic obvious is his voice.

I let out a shaky breath and ran towards the big guy, "Bruce, what happened? Where is he?"

"GET HIM BACK! GET HIM THE HELL BACK!" Sam demanded

"I'm trying!"

My heart thumped through my chest as Bruce shuffled the buttons to see where Steve had gone.

"Sam..." Bucky called his attention, looking straight ahead, which made me follow the direction of his eyes.

I gasped as my eyes landed on a man sitting on an old bench, overlooking the vast expanse of the lake. I took slow steps towards the man to see who it was, afraid that something had gone wrong.

_It was Steve. Grey and old._

Bucky placed a hand on my back when he noticed my tearing up silently. I was happy for Steve, he lived the life he deserved. But I wouldn't deny being subdued with sadness, knowing that I somehow lost him as well. But it wasn't about me. We were all meant to live, and this was what he chose. For all I know, he did choose well.

"Hi, Y/N." Steve approached me.

"I am glad you still know me." my lips formed into a quivering smile.

Steve eyes were the same despite the wrinkles around it. He gave me a smile that I had always known, "I’d never forget."

I threaded towards him and wrapped my arms around him. "I am happy for you, Cap." I sniffled as Steve pat my head softly. I wiped my tears and pulled away to gaze at the man.

_"Live, Y/N. Like we promised them. It's your turn now."_

* * *

** 6 months later **

Y/N visited Tony's grave on a regular basis. She always had a bottle of scotch and two glasses with her whenever she was there. Y/N lost Natasha and Tony, and with Steve and Thor finding their own way elsewhere, she had to cope with these massive changes alone. Bruce, Clint, and the others regularly checked on her, but they were all trying to move on, too. She had tried a lot of things, but she realised that she only needed someone to listen to her when she was being pulled back in the dark corners of her mind. And she chose Tony. He never failed to listen to her when he was alive, and Y/N felt that it would not be an exception this time, only that she would not get sarcastic remarks now.

"Hey Tony." she smiled, sitting on the patch of grass as she placed some flowers on his grave. The springtime was beautiful and everything around her seemed to bloom with life, as if she wasn't in a massive graveyard. Y/N put out and poured two glasses with a new brand of scotch she discovered, placing one on the cupholder on Tony's grave.

"How've you been? I miss you every day." She took a swig of the scotch before patting her lips with a piece of tissue, "Morgan's growing so fast and she had already learned a lot. She liked tinkering and creating, just like you. She spends a lot of time in garage, and she always asks me to buy her cheeseburgers. She’s just like you, Tony."

Y/N's tears started flowing again.

"Remember I told you that Steve went back in time and he heeded your advice? He got a beautiful life and he chose to live. We met his wife, too. I knew then and there why Steve loves her. Rocket told me that Thor was getting better as well... so much better than the last time." she paused and wiped her tears, careful not to ruin her makeup. "We haven't talked since he left. I miss him but I am glad everything is turning well for him."

Y/N plucked a flower beside his grave and fiddled with it. She lifted her hand and traced his name engraved in the stone as soft sobs escaped her lips.

"I am getting better. I still miss you guys a lot. It still hurts so much, you're going to hate it. But I am learning to breathe now. I am taking baby steps because I know you'd want me to move on. I am working on it, Tony. I am now embracing fresh beginnings. I am living again and am starting to love seeing the sun every morning. It reminds me of you a lot, especially when you used to open the curtains my window to pester me early morning." she sniffed then chuckled, releasing a heavy sigh.

"Pepper is still amazing as ever. Still beautiful. She's doing an amazing job raising Morgan. And, we are working on something... for you... I hope you'd be proud of us."

\--

Y/N and Pepper had started running whatever was left of Stark Industries. They had revamped the systems and really focused on providing reliable and sustainable energy sources to areas across the globe. Y/N continued her initiative of providing aid to those in need, especially when the second snap happened, the countries struggled in housing and providing resources to people who came back after five long years.

More than this, Y/N and Pepper had worked with both the government and the remaining Avengers to make sure they would be ready to face any further attacks in the future. The government had already realised the Avenger's initiative and goal to protect the earth.

Y/N sat by her office, completing a business report for the opening of training centre for women where they could train young ladies the value of self-defence and teach them the importance of social awareness, too. It was her utmost goal to build the facility to honour the legacy of her friend, so she named it after her -- Natasha Romanoff Training Centre.

They aimed to inaugurate the centre in the first-year anniversary of Tony and Nat's death. Along with this, they planned to unveil an Iron Man and Black Widow statue, as well as a Wall of Heroes with the names of those brave warriors who gave their lives in the battle. Y/N was determined to give them proper commemoration of their sacrifice.

She only had about a month left to finish her preparations and she had already sent out her invites, so she had a handful to do. Y/N never forgot to invite Guardians as well. She was unsure whether Thor would come but she sure did hope so, especially that he was one of the original Avengers along with Nat and Tony.

Taking a deep breath from the long hours of work and preparation, she finally decided to rest. Y/N inclined her office chair to take a quick nap before she drove home. She could already feel her back sore from long hours of work, so she leaned back comfortably, lifting her feet on the table, then closed her tired eyes. 

Sleep had already started consuming her when a loud ringing pulled her back to earth. Groaning, she picked up her office phone.

"Let me send the report tomorrow. I am so tired..."

_"It's her! It's her!"  
"Talk to her! Don't be stupid!"_

Y/N arched her brow as she heard an excited, giddy, muffled voice from the other end of the line.

"Hello? Who's this? Come on! Quit playing around!" she scolded, her voice cold and stern.

She heard a man cleared his throat twice before a loud breathing filled speaker.

 _Who the hell is this?_ She thought, scratching her temple. Receiving no answer, she dropped the phone harshly.

It only took a second before the line rang again.

"Who are you and what do you want?!" she asked with an exasperated voice.

_"I'm sorry, Y/N. It's me. It's T-thor."_

Y/N jaw dropped as she heard his voice after nearly a year without direct contact.

"Thor! Hey... I'm sorry. I did not know it was you. How are you? How did you know my number? Where are you? Are you alright?" Y/N's words kept tumbling out until she was out of breath.

 _"I am better, my lady. I just... asked Rocket how I could contact you. It's really good to hear your voice."_ She could hear Thor smile on the line and her heart pounded against her chest.

"Yeah. Yours too." Y/N barely whispered as she clasped the necklace Thor gave her and closed her eyes. "I am glad you called. And I am glad to hear you're doing better."

" _Indeed. I did not realise how miserable I have become until I got better. I never thought I would fall like that. I never knew I could hurt that bad. But, I took your advice. Because of you, I lived again. How about you, my lady? How have you been?"_

Y/N's heart warmed just by thinking he was back on his feet. 

"I am surviving, improving. Learning to breathe again. I hope Rocket told you guys about the celebration I was preparing? The memorial and all?"

_"Yes. He did. We aren't too sure just yet if all of us can make it given the timeline, but we hope to be there."_

Y/N's smile fell a little and there was a moment of silence in the line, "I understand. Take care, yeah?"

_"Y/N?"_

"Yeah?"

_"I dream of you always. I miss you and I yearn to see you soon."_

Y/N's lips formed a lopsided smile as she felt her cheek flush, realising that the god still has his way with words. She felt it deep in her bones that he was longing for her as much she did for him.

"I miss you, too, Thor. See you soon." she replies.

Thor did not hang-up just yet, he enjoyed those few seconds of silence when he could only hear Y/N's breathing. He needed it. He needed her. So did Y/N.

That night, Y/N wanted nothing else than to drown in his warm embrace and feel his searing kiss. But for that night, she rested in the fact that her waiting was not in vain and that it was not long now.

\--

The inauguration of the new Avenger Facility, Natasha Romanoff Training Centre, and unveiling of the memorial statues and Wall of Heroes took place on the exact date of Tony's death.

There were several invited guests who joined them and even their friends from Wakanda did not miss the celebration. Brunnhilde also arrived in the area just before the ceremony started. Y/N was glad to see the friends she hadn't seen in a while, those who were rebuilding their lives and starting over.

As they unveiled the statues and Wall of Heroes, most of them shared their grief from their losses and had shed tears, but with a different light this time. Clint, Bruce, and Steve stood beside her and Pepper during the memorial ceremony. Sadly, Thor did not make it, which they all understood.

Y/N stood at the podium to give her speech in commemoration of those who died, and celebration of the new beginnings given to them. Y/N ended her speech with toast.

_"Tony, Nat... wherever you are, this toast is for you. Thank you for sacrificing your lives so we can live. And we promise to muster the courage to seize and make the most of this second life... together."_

During dinner time, a couple of friends approached Y/N and commended her for the work she and Pepper had done. It was a simple yet memorable celebration of their victory.

After waves and waves of media covering the party, they closed the facility from the public eye to continue a simple, intimate celebration among friends.

Y/N found a way to sneak a bottle of champagne and three flutes and walked towards the Black Widow and Iron Man statue by the field. It was the only time she was alone during their celebration, and she needed it. She was overwhelmed by the responses and feedback from friends, and it somehow drained her social energy. More than that, she wanted time to personally honour the statues.

"Hey, you two!" she giggled, popping open the bottle of champagne and pouring them a glass, carefully placing it in the platform of their statues.

"Did you like my speech? I hope you did. I did not know how to finish it without drowning in tears. I miss you both. And I always will miss you. We all do. It will never be the same without you."

The statues were made of gold and brass which already had gone cold from the winds of autumn. Y/N reached out to clasp the hands of the statues, hers were warm against the icy metal and it sent goose-bumps running on her skin. The sharp, cool wind blew just as she closed her eyes. Y/N felt as if it was Nat and Tony's way of saying they're with her.

Y/N stayed like that for a while. The leaves had all fallen as if they were drawn to the ground and Y/N was mesmerised with the hues of orange and browns that littered cold surface beneath her feet. Her attention was stolen as she heard the crunching of leaves as someone approached her.

"Are they looking for me?" she asked without looking back, crouching to pick her champagne glass up.

"My lady."

Y/N's heart swelled upon hearing the voice. And as she turned to look at who was it was, her eyes widened, and her lips fell agape before turning into a surprised smile.

_Suddenly, it was 2015 all over again._

Her eyes fell on the god of thunder who was back in his former glory, donned in an oxblood tuxedo, hair pulled back in a bun, and beard trimmed neatly. It was just like the first time they admitted their feelings and first shared their kiss almost a decade ago.

_Her heart somersaulted._

"Thor. I t-thought..." she breathed out, unsure of how to react.

Thor noticed every bit of her reaction so without second thoughts, he strode towards her and eased her doubts by taking her into his arms in a warm embrace.

"One more day would've killed me already." He uttered against the crook of her neck, tightening his arms around her. Y/N snaked her arms around him and nestled in his chest, feeling his heartbeat as his guttural voice echoed through her soul.

He planted several kisses on the top of her head and tilted her chin by cupping her face gently.

"I hope I am not too late." he whispered, pressing a dove-like kiss on her forehead.

Y/N looked up at him, her heart racing as she looped her arms around his neck, "No. You're just in time."

Thor flashed Y/N his supermodel smile, and stared straight into her soul, which melted Y/N's heart like lava.

"May I?" he asked with a smirk, already inching his face towards hers, pulling her body impossibly closer.

"Yes, damn you!"

Thor let out a cheeky laugh then gazed at her eyes, in that one perfect second before he whisked her away from reality as he closed the distance between them.

_"Home, at long last." he whispered._

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you got your baby back. How do you feel? ❤


	18. Brighter than Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Thor and Y/N is reunited. <3  
> No more warning, y'all know what's coming. HEHEHEHE

**_"I never understood before_ **   
**_I never knew what love was for_ **   
**_My heart was broke my head was sore_ **   
**_What a feeling_ **

**_Caught up in ancient history_ **   
**_I didn't believe in destiny_ **   
**_I look up you're standing next to me_ **   
**_What a feeling_ **   
**_I never saw it happenin'_ **   
**_I'd given up and given in_ **   
**_I just couldn't take the hurt again_ **   
**_What a feeling_ **

**_I didn't have the strength to fight_ **   
**_But suddenly it seemed so right_ **   
**_Me and you_ **   
**_What a feeling_ **   
**_Love will remain a mystery_ **   
**_But give me your hand and you will see_ **   
**_You're heart is keeping time with me_ **

**_Oh, what a feeling in my soul_ **   
**_Love burns brighter than sunshine_ **   
**_It's brighter than sunshine_ **   
**_Let the rain fall I don't care_ **   
**_I'm yours and suddenly you're mine_ **   
**_Suddenly you're mine_ **   
**_And its brighter than sunshine"_ **

**_\--_ **

_"Home, at long last."_

He whispered against my lips and everything was set straight. He was home, like he promised.

Everything felt so right when finally closed the distance between us. The world around us vanished as we fell right back into each other's arms, now so much better than we did the last time. I did not have the strength to fight anymore.

My mind flew back to that perfect moment in Tony's balcony almost a decade ago, when we finally gave in to what we both felt, and when I finally let myself love and be loved no matter how crazy the ride was.

"Welcome home." I smiled against the kiss.

Thor grinned like a cheshire cat as we withdrew from the kiss, and cupped my face, "I know that line."

I held his hand against my cheek and nuzzled in his massive paw and sighed dreamily, gazing in his perfect eyes. When he left about a year ago, I never knew what to expect. There was no guarantee that I’d see him again. All I was sure of was that should one of us get tired of the road, the other will be waiting. And I guessed that moment had come.

"I guess the fates want us together, after all."

"I know they do." he said, taking my arm in his.

Thor walked us closer to the statues and wrapped an arm around my middle. We basked in the silence as we both surveyed Nat and Tony's memorial statue. The wind felt right on our skin, and added the fact that my love was back, I seemed to enjoy the solemn moment even more.

"Thank you."

The silence was broken as Thor spoke. It was bold for me to assume that he was thanking me but when I looked up at him, the god of thunder's eyes was fixed on the statues in reverence.

I never knew much peace after everything that had happened, but at that moment as Thor laced our fingers together, hope found its home within me. And this time, it was meant to last.

\--

Thor and Y/N went back to the building to join the party, and as they entered the hall, the clamouring stopped once their friends realised that Thor was back to that strong, Asgardian god that he was, is, and always will be. Gasps and surprised looks painted their faces and it was not long until the god was surrounded with the friends and familiar faces.

"Thor!" Bruce boomed and rushed towards the god, squeezing him in a hug. This reunion was far different from the previous one when Y/N, Bruce, and Rocket went to New Asgard to recruit the god-king for the mission. The big fella was grateful and glad to see his old friend finally recovered from his hard fall previously.

"Hey, Banner." Thor greeted him cheerfully, patting his back.

"Jesus, I was hoping to be the hottest Avenger now, but I guess it won't happen." Clint chuckled and playfully shook his head before giving Thor a hug as well. They spent one quiet moment, no words were spoken, but the three would never forget they used to be six.

Thor was easily surrounded by friends, old and new, as well as the other guests who couldn't not help but take a photo with the god, such as Peter Parker. The kid was ecstatic upon seeing the god and being finally able to introduce himself to him and Thor warmly reciprocated the kid’s enthusiasm.

Y/N just let them have their time as she stood by the bar, happily watching the reunion. Behind her, a man cleared his throat and casually walked towards her.

"Hey Doctor." Y/N greeted as Strange approached her.

"Y/N." he simply nodded.

"Enjoying the party so far?" Y/N reached out to pull out a a wine from the rack and poured him a glass which he gladly took.

"Wong loves it. So long as there is food, he loves it."

"Right? The food is _real_ good." she chuckled lightly, carefully tucking away a the strands of stray hair behind her ears. Strange watched her carefully and realised that the lady was slowly easing up. He remembered when Y/N went to the Sanctum in New York invite them to the memorial couple of months back, the lady had just started to recover then, still pretty much broken. But that moment, as she sipped her wine watching her friends reunite, the doctor reckoned that she was off to a better start. Especially, that the god of thunder was back.

"I guess your boyfriend's back for good?"

"I hope so."

"Well, you still have centuries to seize."

"What do you mean?"

Y/N smiled, but a ghost of pain was evident in her eyes as she stared at him. After all, Y/N knew she'd grow grey and old in just a few years unlike him. She could not grasp the fact that she'd wilt like a flower and would have to say goodbye to him for good.

"You're forever thirty, Y/N. Like him."

"Huh?" Her face crunched in confusion.

Strange released an exasperated sigh, "Y/N, you're Freyja's daughter. You will age, yes, but you're much like him. You have centuries ahead of you." The doctor’s eyes were fixed on the god of thunder before looking at her, and he was sure he saw a flicker of hope in her eyes.

"Are you serious?"

"I don't kid." he said sternly. "So live. Like you promised Tony."

\--

When the loud chatter around Thor started to fade, the god of thunder approached Steve who was sitting by the corner with a soft smile in his face as he watched his old friend come near him.

"Hey Thor..." the old man croaked, extending his arms towards the god.

"Rogers." Thor smiled and gave him a careful hug. "Great to see you."

"Glad that you're back.” his voice was low as he shifted his gaze to Y/N who was still busy with the doctor and some other guests. “She needs you.”

Thor watched Y/N intently, his heart thumping with joy as they were finally reunited. He learned how much he let her down during the hardest times when she needed him, and how she survived it all because she had a family who loved her. And he knew she had Steve, then.

"Thank you, Steve. You never left her side. You were there for her when I was lost, when I could not be. I can never repay that. And I am glad you lived the life you deserve."

"She did the same to you, didn't she? She never gave up." The old man's wrinkly eyes lit up as he smiled at him, "We're family, Thor. All of us."

"It's our time now. To live." Thor declared with such confidence, promising Steve to not let her down again.

Thor knew he could not let this go again. The fates gave him another shot at life, and he desired to make the most of it with her.

* * *

The party had started to die down which left only a few of us in the facility. Wanda, Bucky, Sam, and the others already settled in the facility as it was their new home. They were able to rebuild it like how it was before, and still allocated rooms for the Avengers. Rhodey also decided to stay in the facility that night after the long celebration.

Pepper and Morgan had already gone home with Happy and that left Thor and me sending our other friends off. There were few more hugs and discussions about having dinner at Clint’s with Bruce, a high time for them to catch-up and finally come to accept everything.

There were a few who remained busy with some chatters as the others prepared to leave. The Wakandans were still busy catching-up with Bucky and Wanda, and General Okoye was even able to take home some of her favourite coffee from Starbucks. I remembered she desperately wanted one in Wakanda. 

Brunnhilde was still in the facility catching up with Thor, and just before she left, she gave me a hug and turned to him, "If you ever make Lady Y/N cry again, I'll cut your throat." She threatened the god of thunder who let out a soft laugh.

"Yeah. Then she'll fry me once you're done." he remarked, wrapping an arm around me.

T'Challa and the Valkyrie had established quite a friendship once they started trading. There were similarities in their leadership styles, and I reckoned it was good to keep a close tie with friends. Brunnhilde always had a strong façade, but it seemed as if she had warmed up with the king. T'Challa had bid us farewell and mentioned that the Valkyrie will be in Wakanda for more trade projects and _meetings_.

As we watched them leave the facility, Thor leaned in closer to my ear, "Brunnhilde looks fond of the king. Don't you think?"

"Shush!" I playfully elbowed his tummy which caused a soft grunt. "But I guess you're right." I snickered as I leaned back while he wrapped me in his arms from behind and placed his chin on my shoulder.

"Shall we go home?" he whispered, placing soft kisses om my jawline. I thought I was going to melt that moment.

I tilted my head to look at him and the god easily pressed his lips against mine before I could even speak. "Yes. Let's go home."

\--

Thor and I drove home after the party. It had been so long since we had this alone time together, free from fear and anxiety, free from unhealthy coping mechanisms, and free from tears and heart aches. This time, it was just us.

Thor wandered about the house as if he never left. It warmed me just to see him plop on the couch and open the television to browse new movies, just like the old times when he came home to me after his adventures outside earth. He looked so comfortable with his arms stretched out on the back of the sofa and both feet on the glass table.

I was standing by the edge of the kitchen table, lost in trance as I watched his every move. It was as if we hadn't gone into some crazy shits the past decade.

"My lady?" he called out, craning his neck towards me.

"Yea? You want anything?" I called out before opening the fridge to get a tub of ice cream and a spoon.

"Come here." he pouted, patting the couch and throwing some of the pillows off.

I chucked and gladly perched myself beside him and opened the tub to share it with him. I took a spoonful and offered it to him which he devoured easily.

"I missed this. There's no ice cream in space." he mumbled, gorging himself with the rich chocolate flavour of the ice cream.

"Thank you." he grinned widely and stole a wet kiss on my cheek which smeared some sticky chocolate on my face.

"Ugh. That's sticky." I groaned, which made him smear some more on my face as he emptied the tub.

"Thor!!" I squealed and tried to reach out to him, but he was already standing to place the empty tub in the kitchen, laughing at my failed attempt.

"You bastard! I am going to take a shower now."

"Is that an invitation?" Thor flashed me his carnal smile, taking two strides towards me.

"In your dreams." I smirked, rushing towards my bathroom and locking it so I can shower peacefully.

It had already been so difficult for me to not jump on to him the instance that I saw him. It had been so long since the last time and it wasn't as if we weren't craving for something more than soft pecks on the lips. I let the hot water from the shower soothe the tensions on my back after a long busy day and soothe any aching desire I had. Wiping the fogged-up mirror, I looked at my reflection. It was true I hadn’t changed that much from the past decade, but I became easily conscious of myself. I mean, Thor is an absolute perfection. I would never deny wanting to throw myself on him since he came back few hours ago. I shook my head at the thoughts running inside of it and wrapped myself in my bathrobe.

I went out of the bathroom to see Thor sitting on the edge of my bed, his coat carefully discarded on the small sofa in my room. His eyes were fixed upon me and it lit up once they met mine. It easily sent me shivers down my spine. He reached out his arms and I took slow steps towards him, fixing my robe. I stood in between his legs as he took my hand and kissed my knuckles, his eyes never leaving mine.

"What?" I arched a brow at him, but he did not answer. Instead, he lifted his hands and pulled me by the nape for a searing kiss. Thor never broke the connection as he stood and engulfed me in his arms, his lips bruising mine, igniting the soft embers between us.

"So long, my love." he grunted, and I swore I felt his needy energy coursed through me as he tugged my lower lip.

A soft gasp escaped my lips as he started to slowly untie my robe in the middle. He carefully traced his fingers beneath the hem of the fabric and gently pushed it off me, his hands never leaving me. Thor took purchase on my skin with his feather-like touches and languid kisses. I thought it was impossible to want him even more than I already did, but I found myself starving that moment.

His lips traced the soft spots behind my ears, and I tensed at the sensation before tilting my head to give him more access. Man, I was already burning hot with need. I was melting like ice cream, and there was nothing vanilla about the way he touched me.

"I need you, my queen."

Butterflies went ballistic on my stomach as Thor whispered breathily against my ear before tugging my earlobe, his every move a pure, intentional seduction.

"Then have me, my king." I managed to croak before I reached out to unbutton his shirt and strip it off him with my trembling hand.

He must've noticed me tensing because he held my hand and gentle fingers tilted my head by my chin. His eyes surveyed me and even with the faint glow of our dim lights, I saw his pupil dilate. I flushed under his steady gaze. _Gods, it was as if it is our first time._

"Is everything alright, my love?"

"Y-yea. I-it's just..." I stuttered, blood filling cheeks as I tried covering my nerves and consciousness with a soft laugh. "it's been years since... you know..."

Thor snickered, cupping my face before stopping my words with his lips on mine.

"Nothing has changed. I want you just as much." he mumbled against the kiss, "In fact, even more this time."

He stared into my eyes and I saw nothing but love and sincerity. It was true and he knew I felt the same. I finally let go of my inhibitions and let my pent up desire consume us both as I wrapped both arms around his neck and closed the distance between us again.

Thor lavished me with kisses which made my knees shake, and before I even lost my balance, he swiftly laid me down the bed, his figure towering over me. My face was burning hot as he stared at me and as his massive hand caressed every inch of my skin.

"You're beautiful. So beautiful."

He dipped down, bracing himself on his forearms, tracing kisses on my sweet spots, switching on the buttons that made me wild with intense hunger.

"My love." I writhed and arched my back off the bed when I felt his warm lips and tongue lapping and nipping the sensitive peaks of my breasts. Despite the pleasure clouding my head, I felt him smirk against my skin.

_This bastard knew what he was doing._

I felt slick pooling between my thighs as the god started to ground his hardening member against my aching centre. I groaned at the sensation of his perfect, chiselled body rubbing against my skin and his tumescence covered by a thin sheet of fabric pressing on all the right spots.

To be fair, I never stopped wanting him, not even when he was a soft-bellied king. It was instinctive of him to touch my skin and press against me every time he could, but both of us had insecurities and pain of our own, we couldn't act upon our desires then. But after nearly six years of suppressed longing and hunger, nothing could ever take this moment from us. We wanted this hot and heavy, like our make-out session.

Thor released a sound that was in between a groan and moan when I reached down to free the treasure beneath the fabric of his undergarment. I wrapped my hand around his hammer as he rid himself of the last piece of barrier between us. His heavy breathing was enough to drive me mad. He carefully parted my thighs and settled in between, his engorged flesh resting against my belly.

_He was a god for more reasons than one._

_"_ Gods, I want you, my love." his guttural voice resonated in my whole being and I gasped when his length glided through my folds in a sensual, gentle pace.

"Oh... baby please." I pulled him in closer and devoured his plump lips in a hungry, needy kiss.

Thor answered my plea as his massive hand snaked down to my core and swiftly tormented me with the movement of his deft fingers. In one, skillful move, his fingers curled and hit that special spot inside and tiny bolts of electricity from the tip of his fingers heightened every sensation in my body.

"Oh Thor..." I bit on my lower lip, trying to muffle the sound as my climax started to build.

"Come on, my love. Don't hold back."

I was drunk in lust but damn sure I will be waking up with beard burns and love bites from the way the god of thunder feasted on my skin I so willingly offered him. I pried my eyes open to see him and was both astonished and shy at the way he gazed down at me, watching me falling apart in his mercy.

He captured my lips for another kiss as he went knuckle-deep inside me which made my walls clench around him when I finally hit that wondrous peak with a cry of his name. I panted for air but that did not stop him from riling me up.

“Yes, my love. Tell me you want this, too.” He grunted, already gliding his marble-hard shaft against my core. I could only nod and kiss him from such burning need I cannot seem to satiate.

“Yes, Thor please.”

The first time he entered me felt like heaven. And he wasn’t even _fully inside._

He moved in me in gentle strokes which sent me keening for more. He took his time with me, smothering me with wet, fevered kiss as we both bathe in warmth of each other’s body. I could not take it much longer and whispered his name in a hush plea and lifted my hips to meet his gentle movement.

“Thor, my love… please.” I yelped as he sheathed himself completely inside me in one, hard thrust. My nails dug into his hard skin when he finally let lose and worked his _hammer_ in and out of my tight cave.

“Norns! I have waited so long to feel this again.” His grunt was animalistic as he increased his pace, making me wrap both legs around his hips to pull him closer.

He prowled into my neck and started sucking wet kisses there which made me throw my head back. Thor moved with such delicacy and the room was filled with the trembling cadence our bodies give off. Thor deepened to the hilt inside of me and sent us spiralling into the edge while his hands splayed across the tender spots in my body.

I shuddered and writhed in his arms as the knot burst through the confines of my body. The orgasm awakened every nerve ending, goosebumps screaming out just as I did. Thor was hit by the wave just after, his fucked up groans and sputtering hips going harder, fucking harder until he released. It felt so right as we both met each other in lustful kiss while he helped us both prolong and ride out our high.

Moments like this with Thor were always other worldly. And the pleasure was always insurmountable. Finally spent, Thor pulled me into his arms and pressed his swollen lips against mine in a loving kiss as he rubbed my skin soothingly. Our breaths were still heavy, but we were more than satisfied to finally be back together.

“I love you.” His voice was deep and soft as his grazed his hand on the flushed skin of my face.

“I love you, too.” I whispered and buried myself in his embrace. It was not long when he finally dozed off and I took that moment to watch him sleep peacefully. Silent tears filled my eyes as I tuck this moment back in my mind, afraid for it to end again. 

Thor felt it. Just as the tears escaped, he opened his eyes which met mine and wiped my tears away. Thor pulled me closer and pressed a reassuring kiss against my forehead before staring straight into my eyes.

_“I am home, my love. For always.”_

\--


End file.
